Ever run out of TP?

So I was in the bathroom the other night when I realized there was no TP. I had bought TP like the week before that and had never made it passed the kitchen with it. So, in desperation I called out to Dallas to bring me some. He was not hearing me so I told Jace to go in the kitchen and bring mommy the toilet paper (intently pointing to the empty roll)...I beleive I had to say it a couple times. Finally he takes off running so I thought, "great, it worked - he is actually going to get the toilet paper! I'm a genius!". What he actually brought me back though was my Soap Opera Digest magazine. HAHAHA! Guess he saw me with that one too many times! HA!

And the moral of this little story is that if mom's ever got any privcay in the bathroom, he would not have known that! HA!

You don't see me complaining do ya...

Tonight I was cooking supper and in the early stages Brendon came into the kitchen, saw me browning hamburger and immediately complained that we were having tacos. We weren't having tacos (that's tomorrow night-hehe) but knowing he would complain even more about the fact that we were actually having spaghetti, I just didn't say a word.

A little while he later he comes back into the kitchen and being the smart kid that he is, he put two and two together when he saw two pots of water boiling on the stove and fell to the floor in dramatics (as predicted) about the spaghetti. The following conversation took place...

ME: "Brendon - you complained when you thought it was tacos and you're complaining now that you know it's spaghetti".

HIM: "I would have rather had the tacos"!

ME: "Well, you can tomorrow night".

HIM: "Whaaahhh!!" - fake crying and flailing around on the floor.

ME: "Come on - I haven't made you eat spaghetti in a long time".

HIM: "...and did I complain?"

Hahahahahaha! I said, "why would you complain about me NOT making you eat spaghetti?! HA!

The conversation really took a wrong turn though when we "compromised" and he would be having spaghetti-o's (& meatballs) while the rest of us had spaghetti. Once agreed I said, "fag-head-e-o's it is". That progressed to "fag-head-e-o's and balls" to, in the end, "fag-head-e-o's and Pete's balls". Fine example I set for my kids. Gonna be kinda hard to tell them to knock off the calling each other gay or saying "that's gay" all the time.

Oh and in case you were wondering all through this post why the two pots of boiling water...every time I make spaghetti I have to make curly (spiral) noodles for Dallas or I'll get the same dramatics from him that I got from Brendon. And Dallas doesn't like "fag-head-e-o's and Pete's balls" so I'd would have been screwed! HA!

Picture Posting Pretty Painless...

...say that 3 times fast...

I was seeing how easy it was to upload a picture into my blog and low and behold it was very easy. Easier I think that 2 years ago because if you frequented my blog back then, I kept promising to post my ultrasound pictures and never did..my bad.

But now that I see how easy it is, I'll have to find some pics of Brendon and Dallas and post them too. Wouldn't want to give them a "new baby in the family" complex or anything.

All my baby daddies...

I was picking up Jace's pictures at Walmart on Easter Sunday and the girl who took the pictures (and who was a bitch when we first got there and spent the rest of the session totally kissing my ass so that I wouldn't be mad at her, which really meant to not complain about her) was working. While we were waiting for the debit card to go through, she was small talking and asked me how my Easter was going. I replied, "well, right now all my kids are with their dads..." to which I immediately realized how bad that sounded! Like a Jerry Springer or Maury Povich show..."all my baby daddies!".

Completely and utterly mortified...

Ever been embarrassed by your kids' behavior...they throw a tantrum at the supermarket, hide under the racks in clothing stores, scream how mean of a mother you are because you NEVER buy them anything, make rude comments to people, beat the living crap out of each other when you or they have company, etc?

Ever been completely mortified by your kids' behavior?

Brendon has indoor baseball practice at least once a week at the middle school. Dallas has gone along many times and has either just watched or helped out if they were short players. Once Salvation Army basketball teams starting having practice there at the same time, Dallas and occassionally even another kid on our street would go and shoot hoops or hang out and watch. I guess there always was a little voice in my head that wondered if this was actually ok with Brendon's head coach. He is a "yes sir - no sir" kinda guy. And by that I mean he makes me feel like I should be saying "yes sir - no sir". But I never heard off any problems and figured they would let me know if there was.

Well, that time came last night. (Side note: because of the opportunity to hang out with the basketball kids before baseball practice starts, we also had gotten in the habit of going to practice about 20 minutes early.) I got an e-mail from the head coaches wife that they need me to only drop Brendon off (meaning not Dallas) from now on because one of the janitors reported the team to the office because Dallas had climbed inside one of the school's glass trophy cases that hang on the wall. (It was about this point of reading the e-mail that the mortification set in!!) It went on to say how their insurance doesn't handle things like that and how Dallas could have been hurt if the trophy case fell. (Now on top of mortification comes the shame of being a sub-class parent.) Then she went on to say that kids cannot be there when coaches aren't so I need to not drop Brendon off more than 10 minutes before practice. (This just reinforces that the rotten parent thing...one of those parents who brings their kids to things early and is the last one to pick them up.)

I already feel low class around these other baseball parents because they have money and we don't and this just amplified that a million times over!! I can't even imagine having to face them EVER let alone tonight when Brendon has practice again.

When I asked Dallas what possessed him to do that, his response was "they told me to". I said, "who is THEY?". He said Brendon and Colt (another kid from the team). I pulled out the old "jump off a bridge" argument and asked if he always does things just because someone told him too (of course he doesn't do what I tell him too so apparently I don't have the same influence on him!). His response..."I don't know". I HATE THAT!!!!!! I then asked Brendon why he tell him to do it, "you are 13 years old, you know better". His response..."I don't know". I told them I NEVER want to hear those words again. Everything is "I don't know" - yes you do! In that moment you make a choice and there HAS to be a reason that went throug your little head telling you to make that choice! I know why Dallas did it...because he thought it would be funny and it would impress the other guys. He thinks anything is ok to pull off as long as it gets him a laugh from his friends.

Does anyone have the number for a good boot camp because I don't even know what to do with my hellyuns anymore? Calgon take me away!