Tuesday, February 22, 2011

It's Like I'm Expecting...Again...

I had a little outpatient surgery last week that, for all intents and purposes, has gone horribly wrong. First I developed a raging urinary tract infection and also got violently ill from the pain meds. I ended up in the ER on iv fluids and anti-nausea meds. Horrible! The pain meds still make me sick but they are a MUST so I've resorted to taking half tabs along with the anti-nausea med. I'm taking antibiotics for the UTI. I am essentially on bed rest...so long as I lay on my side only.

WOW! You are probably wondering what I had done?! Many people have asked and only those close to me know. It's more than just a little embarrassing! Ok it was hemmorrhoid surgery - a hemmorrhoidectomy. THERE - I SAID IT! I developed a couple when I was pregnant with my last child - which is PERFECTLY NORMAL during pregnancy. Not that there's anything wrong with having hemmorrhoids! (bad Seinfeld reference) But even though I am a long-term relationship kinda girl - 6 years was long enough for these guys to be hanging around! So, I made the decision to have them removed. Buh bye, adios, hasta la vista, sayonara, catch ya on the flip side - whatever!

Well, now I am recovering and trying to do so gracefully but it's very hard. I mean the pain is beyond belief. Neither the doctor's office nor the hospital properly prepared me for the aftermath. No one told me that the recovery time at home - away from work - would be a minimum of two weeks. They didn't send me home with the proper supplies to care for the surgical site. At one point, I had to use my son's leftover Pull Ups as make shift padding. That was an experience - felt like...well, it felt like a diaper. Glimpse into future! =(

Like I said, I am on the mend. The only thing I still have to look forward to is the first post-surgery bowel movement! Insert "oohs and ouches and OMG's" here! At 4 am this morning it struck me that waiting for this momentous occassion was like I was expecting all over again. First there is the waddle when I walk. Of course there is fear of the unknown and also, every little rumble in my tummy, immediately I'm like, "oh - I think it's time". Well, let me tell you - I've gone into false labor twice today and all the signs are there. There is the pelvic pressure, the back labor, the Lamaze breathing, the screaming at the doctors and the begging for it to be over. The actual delivery hasn't happened yet - YAY me! There is no doubt about it though - through blood, sweat and tears this too shall pass (no pun intended).