They mingled at the same party, both knowing the other was there, it didn't seem out of the ordinary to her. Eventually, making the rounds brought them to each other. After a couple minutes of smiles and small talk, he tells her how he has had a crush on her for years. How whenever he sees her, he thinks about what it would be like to touch her.
Although she is shocked by what she is hearing, she instantly blushes, her smile grows larger. It feels good to hear his words but she doesn’t know whether to trust it as anything more than the alcohol talking.
She's insecure. She doesn't feel attractive when she looks in the mirror. Nobody says things like that to her. She is the fun girl everyone can laugh with, not the object of their desires. In the past her insecurities had made her easy prey for guys who only wanted one thing. Enough alcohol, mixed with a little attention, topped with just the right words could win them their way with her. She'd feel a temporary high but it always gave way to shame and loneliness. So how could she help but think this was any different?
She wasn't the girl she used to be. She had finally learned that sex does not equal love. Casual sex, no matter how hot or how satisfying, was not going to bring her her soul mate. But in her mind, her soul mate would say these words she was hearing from him.
She had tried to counter them with things like, "come on, you're married" and "I've always gotten the impression you really love your wife". Stabbing holes in any plausibility these feelings he claimed to have could be true.
He didn't deny it. In fact, admitting it was true that he did love his wife. "But there is something about you”, he said. "It's your personality. You are always so bubbly and happy. I watch you and think about what it would be like to be with you. Even as your body has changed over the years, it didn't matter to me. I still wanted you", he told her intently.
This couldn't be happening. What girl hasn't dreamed of someone who sees them for a person and not just a warm body? Who sees passed their size and likes them for who they are. That seeing her that way makes them want her in every sense of the word. To find someone has fantasized about them from a far for years rather than being the only prospect at the end of the night.
It was becoming harder for her to resist his charm. They kept talking, her now coyly taking in his thoughts. Softly holding her drink to her lips, occasionally playfully biting the rim of the glass. She looks at him, smiling brightly, shyly holding his eyes for moments than bashfully looking away. He leans in and says, "you're teasing me."
She laughed and swore she wasn't. Maybe she was. Maybe she was teasing the moment. Knowing it wouldn't last. Knowing it couldn't. She doesn't even remember what she was saying when he suddenly kissed her.
There was a lot of conversation and laughter going on around them. Well aware there weren't the only people in the place but not letting it stop them. Had anyone witnessed the kiss? It was quick and surprising but she felt herself kiss back. It was a mere fleeting moment but she had ended the kiss with him. Their lips pressed firmly and fully together.
She tells him she can't believe he did that. He is practically giddy, his smile so big now it dominates his features. He tells her he is glad he did. How he couldn't help himself. Just watching her talk, he had to take the chance. He wanted to take her.
She holds strong. Never wanting to feel used again, she tells him how this can't happen. How she knows he is not saying he would leave his wife and how she deserves more. It hurts to say it. It hurts to let go of how good this had all felt but she knew better. She knew better of herself.
She was a good person and deserved to be loved whole heartedly and not play second best. He agrees. He looks at her and says that she's great and she does deserve all of that. Still playing the prince.
So that's it. It was over. He needed to get going. To get home to his wife. She was going to walk him out. In the parking lot, they would share one more kiss. A longer and more meaningful one. A goodbye.
She talked to a foursome at a nearby table while he said his farewells. She watched him anticipating that kiss she was planning. Waiting to sneak out and have that moment with him. She looked away so that no one would detect her stare. When she turned back, he was gone. He had left alone. Left her alone. It was over.
Although she had stayed a while longer at the party, she thought of him. She remembered every word and that kiss. The memory lingered of the feel of his lips on hers. The heat of that moment when he couldn't not have her any longer. She cried all the way home. She felt stupid for letting herself want what he had said to be true.
Was it? Had he heard about her past and thought of her as that easy prey? Did he know he could fluster her the way he claimed to be flustered by her? She cried at the thought of being a fool to think anyone feels that way about her. Cried at that thought of him skipping out when he hadn't succeeded in getting her to succumb to him. Cried at the fact that she wished it were all true. Cried that it couldn't be.
She had done the right thing yet she still felt used and alone. She couldn't win. She thought she had held on to her dignity but had she? Was there any dignity in being played even if the guy didn't score? To her, the score was cruel world - 100, her heart - 0.
The next day she was still solemn. She replayed the night over and over in her mind. She didn't know what would happen when they saw each other again. She knew that time would come soon enough. Would he even remember? Had the alcohol given the courage to finally say all the things he'd been feeling? Will the alcohol cause him to also forget that he had? She didn't know what to expect but she was feeling the moments they had shared were the moments she had dreamed of.
Someday, someone will say those things to her and have the conviction to stand behind them. He'll take those feelings he can't deny inside himself and make them the reason he needs to be with her. To truly be with her. She deserves nothing less and wants nothing more. That day, that guy, that will be her soul mate. That day, that guy, that moment...will be hers.
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Spring Fever
I've given up on NaBloPoMo...my life is way to stressful and hectic to post everyday and I found that I was posting nothing else but lists. Gone were the quirky, the cute, the family. So today I took some time out of my hectic life (and by that I mean I pulled myself out of the pappasan chair) and played with Jace outside. He was definitely having spring fever and enjoyed a little of the first day of Spring.
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Day 15 - Embarrassing Moments
Day 15's list is embarrassing moments in my life. I won't say most embarrassing because, hey, I'm pushing forty and can't possibly remember them all - but these rank right up there.
1). This is a 2 parter...9th grade...9th grade locker bay, Joe Karasek gooses me and feels the ginormous pad I was wearing because Aunt Flo was visiting. His response, "nice butt". I was mortified and vowed never to wear pads again.
2). My mother refused to buy me tampons - the whole toxic shock thing - so I had to get them myself but I had no idea how to use them. My friend had to show me. She gave me the instructions then left the bathroom to let me "try". I was talking to myself out loud about how I didn't know what I was doing and turns out she never had left, was hiding around the corner and heard everything. The giggling gave her away.
3). Again, in the 9th grade (apparently it was a traumatic year for me). It was the first year of Spanish class and for the first term we were given names that when translated were similar to our actual names. Mine was Lourdes...pronounced Lor-dace. So, we had to go around the room...the first person would say their spanish name, the next person had to say the first person's spanish name and then their spanish name, and so on and so forth. When it came to this one girl, she didn't pronounce my name as Lor-dace...she pronounced is as Lard-ass. Everyone laughed and you know how sometimes nicknames tend to stick. Of all nicknames for people to remember all year. Not a fun year.
4). I guess I should say any of the zillion times I peed my pants from laughing. I used to have a condition called "spastic bladder" and when I would laugh (a hard laugh, not a giggle and since you never really know when you are going to laugh), the message from my brain to my nervous system would get confused and tell my bladder muscles to contract. The result...I would pee my pants. I was put on medication and given a permanent hall pass to go to the bathroom whenever I wanted at school. BUT that was in jr. high school after years of wetting myself prior. But as embarrassed as I obviously was, I don't know one time that anyone else noticed. I was never teased about it once that I can remember. See I got really good at hiding it, sometimes with the help of great friends. I would tie a sweatshirt or jacket (Members Only usually) around my waist and hope it hung low enough to cover. Once it happened in study hall which was right by the Home Ec room so my friend waited with me 'til the room cleared then she provided cover while we ran to the Home Ec room where the teacher let me use the dryer to dry my pants. (After all, it was the friend's fault I peed. We had been playing tic tac toe and she farted. That made me laugh and then I farted and that made me laugh even more). Thank God it was a free period for Home Ec and not a full classroom. Before I was diagnosed, my mom thought it was my fault, that I was not going to the bathroom often enough or fully draining my bladder. So one time when we were camping, my friends and I were fishing and I had an accident. So, they all took turns filling their hands with lake water and dumping in on my pants so we could tell my mom I fell in the lake. She didn't buy it and I got sent to bed early. But those were good friends. Another time it happened at a restaurant with a friend's family. I covered myself with my coat 'til we got outside but that wasn't going to explain how I got their car seat wet when we drove home. It was winter out and the cars parked on the street had a couple inches of snow piled on their hoods. I jumped on a car and slid on my butt down its hood. When I got off then I was all, "oh crap now I'm soaked. Why did I do that?". I think they fell for it.
5). I can't remember if this happened in 8th grade or 9th grade - after lunch you could go outside 'til the bell. It wasn't recess anymore but it was the next best thing. We were leap frogging over those posts in the parking lot. When I leaped one (basically spread eagle), a friend shouts "I'm surprised you didn't suck that one up". This was back in the day of all the cheerleader doing the splits jokes...you know, "waddaya do when a cheerleader does the slits and 5 class rings fall out" or "waddaya do when a cheerleader does the splits and sticks to the floor" ...so I know she was joking but still it was embarrassing.
Ok this is the part where any family members tuned in probably should stop reading. Just remember I was young and didn't know any better.
6). A bar I frequented in my early 20's used to have these Build You Own Bikini contests where you had to make a bikini out of something other than material. A friend and I were there on a night of one of the contests, I had become friendly with most of the bar employees and they were trying to convince me to enter the contest. They only had one other contestant and needed someone else to enter to even have the contest. I said NO for most of the night but after a few drinks, they convinced me. This bar also served pizza by the slice so they decided to make my bikini out of tin foil. You know - the most durable of substances. So, I went into the bathroom, my friend helped me into the tinkini and of course it ripped in the process - right in the crotch area. She did what any friend would do and scrunched the tin foil together just like you do any other time you use tin foil and it rips and we carried on. One of the bouncers loaned me his uniform shirt which was basically like a baseball jersey to wear before the contest started so I wouldn't be exposed. So they called all the contestants to the dance floor and I removed the jersey. The yelling from the crowd was so loud I couldn't really hear the announcer but that was nothing new for this place. There were a lot of drunken guys and the bar held contests that catered to their carnal wants. I didn't think anything of it. I smiled and clapped to the music. Then a different bouncer came over to me and whispered in my ear, "fix it or your disqualified". I didn't know what he was talking about so I went on - clueless - and sure enough got disqualified. They covered me up and escorted me from the dance floor. Turns out the scrunched together part didn't hold and all the walking around before the contest started had caused the bottom of my tinkini to shift to the left, so the V shaped portion that should have been covering my vajayjay was actually covering my left thigh leaving only the side strap to cover...well, pretty much nothing. AND to top all of that off - this bar was also known to video tape all their contests. So, you see I can never run for political office now for fear that tape would surface during my campaign.
7). Having sex in a car, in the parking lot of a bar across the street from my work, said bar full of guys from my work attending a going away party, I look up the heat of the moment to see that many of those guys are now standing around the car not only watching but taking pictures. Thank God quickies are just that - to where most times you aren't fully undressed. Let me back track a little (ok save face a little)...this going away party was for a guy I had had a HUGE crush on for two years. He was a former marine and totally what the marine campaign "a few good men" was all about. He was muscular and HOT, HOT, HOT. I was already gone for the day but he stopped by my office to personally invite me to his party. My boss called me to tell me since she knew how I felt about him. She agreed to accompany me to the party so I didn't have to go alone. I was extremely nervous, hadn't eaten and plied myself with many beers to have the courage to talk to him. Turns out he had broken up with his girlfriend. He was single, I was single, I was probably never going to see him again so I took the opportunity to have my dream fulfilled. I am not ashamed of that at all. I was a consenting adult. Do I wish we had used better discretion and chose a better location? YES. But hey, hindsight is 20/20. Unfortunately, I was referred to as the "Official Going Away Gift" for the next several going away parties, however, I was unable to attend. Oh and the pictures...they never saw the light of day. Actually, in a way, they did...I knew the guy whose camera was used and he said the film had been exposed when the camera was opened but I still asked him for the roll to make sure. I never developed it so I have to trust that he did the right thing.
8). Puking in the middle of a bar right in front of the guy you are trying to impress. I had dated this guy for 3 months (he is on my boys who stole my heart post) and was trying to win him back. A friend and I went to a bar we knew he patroned on Thursday nights because of it being ThirsTea Thursday. Specials on all kind of teas - the ones with like 5 shots a piece - like Long Island Iced Tea but there were others like California Tea and so forth. He was there as predicted, we didn't speak to him - that wouldn't be casually ending up at the same place (or "being breezy" to any Friends fans). We had a couple teas there and then moved on (and by than I mean followed him) to another bar. We were standing by the dance floor acting all nonchalant when he finally came up and talked to me. I was soooo nervous and had had a lot to drink. My stomach started churning and I felt like I needed to belch. I put my hand under my nose like when you try to squelch a sneeze. My friend asked me if I was ok. I said, "yeah, I just need to burp". Then I starting puking. I tried to hold it back with my hand but it started flying over the top of my hand. It landed in our drinks even. I finally couldn't hold it anymore and just let it go and puked all over the floor. My friend and I looked at each other, started laughing and ran to the bathroom. I had puke in my hair - it was lovely. Man, I really know how to impress a guy, don't I?
9). Ripping out the ass of my skirt while doing the Electric Slide. A bar I mentioned earlier that I patroned a lot in my early twenties hosted a lot of Ladies Nights. What better way to draw the guys in than to offer free drinks for 4 hrs to any lady wearing a skirt. So, we'd don the appropriate attire for the appropriate 4 hrs and then change into shorts we left in the car. One night though, I can't remember if the skirt was particularly too tight at the beginning of the night or after 4 hrs of drinking but we were on the dance floor doing the Electric Slide and one time when I leaned over, as required by the dance, my skirt ripped up the back. Thank God I was wearing pretty panties! Thank God I was wearing panties! Just kidding - I have never been one to go commando (another Friends reference).
10). Getting caught giving a hand job to some guy at the drive in...by your brother. This would have been the end of 9th grade. The drive in WAS the Friday night place to be. I went with some friends and my brother went seperately with some friends. After a lot of Everclear and Orange Juice (or maybe not a lot because, I mean, it was Everclear after all - it doesn't really take a lot), two young girls stumbled around the drive in, looking for new friends. Later on, one of those young girls was in the front seat with one new friend only making out I think because her Aunt Flo was visiting (and was right there in the car with them). And the other young girl was in the back seat with the other new friend making out...and giving a hand job. After a while, there was a knock on the window of the back seat door. Young girl #2 looks up only to see her older brother standing there. Hand job O-VER. I didn't really care one way or the other...I'm sure the new friend did. In fact, I think he was a little put off because he called the young girl a slut and young girl #1's older brother and his friend hand to teach him the polite way to refer to said young girls.
11). Deciding to publish these embarrassing moments.
1). This is a 2 parter...9th grade...9th grade locker bay, Joe Karasek gooses me and feels the ginormous pad I was wearing because Aunt Flo was visiting. His response, "nice butt". I was mortified and vowed never to wear pads again.
2). My mother refused to buy me tampons - the whole toxic shock thing - so I had to get them myself but I had no idea how to use them. My friend had to show me. She gave me the instructions then left the bathroom to let me "try". I was talking to myself out loud about how I didn't know what I was doing and turns out she never had left, was hiding around the corner and heard everything. The giggling gave her away.
3). Again, in the 9th grade (apparently it was a traumatic year for me). It was the first year of Spanish class and for the first term we were given names that when translated were similar to our actual names. Mine was Lourdes...pronounced Lor-dace. So, we had to go around the room...the first person would say their spanish name, the next person had to say the first person's spanish name and then their spanish name, and so on and so forth. When it came to this one girl, she didn't pronounce my name as Lor-dace...she pronounced is as Lard-ass. Everyone laughed and you know how sometimes nicknames tend to stick. Of all nicknames for people to remember all year. Not a fun year.
4). I guess I should say any of the zillion times I peed my pants from laughing. I used to have a condition called "spastic bladder" and when I would laugh (a hard laugh, not a giggle and since you never really know when you are going to laugh), the message from my brain to my nervous system would get confused and tell my bladder muscles to contract. The result...I would pee my pants. I was put on medication and given a permanent hall pass to go to the bathroom whenever I wanted at school. BUT that was in jr. high school after years of wetting myself prior. But as embarrassed as I obviously was, I don't know one time that anyone else noticed. I was never teased about it once that I can remember. See I got really good at hiding it, sometimes with the help of great friends. I would tie a sweatshirt or jacket (Members Only usually) around my waist and hope it hung low enough to cover. Once it happened in study hall which was right by the Home Ec room so my friend waited with me 'til the room cleared then she provided cover while we ran to the Home Ec room where the teacher let me use the dryer to dry my pants. (After all, it was the friend's fault I peed. We had been playing tic tac toe and she farted. That made me laugh and then I farted and that made me laugh even more). Thank God it was a free period for Home Ec and not a full classroom. Before I was diagnosed, my mom thought it was my fault, that I was not going to the bathroom often enough or fully draining my bladder. So one time when we were camping, my friends and I were fishing and I had an accident. So, they all took turns filling their hands with lake water and dumping in on my pants so we could tell my mom I fell in the lake. She didn't buy it and I got sent to bed early. But those were good friends. Another time it happened at a restaurant with a friend's family. I covered myself with my coat 'til we got outside but that wasn't going to explain how I got their car seat wet when we drove home. It was winter out and the cars parked on the street had a couple inches of snow piled on their hoods. I jumped on a car and slid on my butt down its hood. When I got off then I was all, "oh crap now I'm soaked. Why did I do that?". I think they fell for it.
5). I can't remember if this happened in 8th grade or 9th grade - after lunch you could go outside 'til the bell. It wasn't recess anymore but it was the next best thing. We were leap frogging over those posts in the parking lot. When I leaped one (basically spread eagle), a friend shouts "I'm surprised you didn't suck that one up". This was back in the day of all the cheerleader doing the splits jokes...you know, "waddaya do when a cheerleader does the slits and 5 class rings fall out" or "waddaya do when a cheerleader does the splits and sticks to the floor" ...so I know she was joking but still it was embarrassing.
Ok this is the part where any family members tuned in probably should stop reading. Just remember I was young and didn't know any better.
6). A bar I frequented in my early 20's used to have these Build You Own Bikini contests where you had to make a bikini out of something other than material. A friend and I were there on a night of one of the contests, I had become friendly with most of the bar employees and they were trying to convince me to enter the contest. They only had one other contestant and needed someone else to enter to even have the contest. I said NO for most of the night but after a few drinks, they convinced me. This bar also served pizza by the slice so they decided to make my bikini out of tin foil. You know - the most durable of substances. So, I went into the bathroom, my friend helped me into the tinkini and of course it ripped in the process - right in the crotch area. She did what any friend would do and scrunched the tin foil together just like you do any other time you use tin foil and it rips and we carried on. One of the bouncers loaned me his uniform shirt which was basically like a baseball jersey to wear before the contest started so I wouldn't be exposed. So they called all the contestants to the dance floor and I removed the jersey. The yelling from the crowd was so loud I couldn't really hear the announcer but that was nothing new for this place. There were a lot of drunken guys and the bar held contests that catered to their carnal wants. I didn't think anything of it. I smiled and clapped to the music. Then a different bouncer came over to me and whispered in my ear, "fix it or your disqualified". I didn't know what he was talking about so I went on - clueless - and sure enough got disqualified. They covered me up and escorted me from the dance floor. Turns out the scrunched together part didn't hold and all the walking around before the contest started had caused the bottom of my tinkini to shift to the left, so the V shaped portion that should have been covering my vajayjay was actually covering my left thigh leaving only the side strap to cover...well, pretty much nothing. AND to top all of that off - this bar was also known to video tape all their contests. So, you see I can never run for political office now for fear that tape would surface during my campaign.
7). Having sex in a car, in the parking lot of a bar across the street from my work, said bar full of guys from my work attending a going away party, I look up the heat of the moment to see that many of those guys are now standing around the car not only watching but taking pictures. Thank God quickies are just that - to where most times you aren't fully undressed. Let me back track a little (ok save face a little)...this going away party was for a guy I had had a HUGE crush on for two years. He was a former marine and totally what the marine campaign "a few good men" was all about. He was muscular and HOT, HOT, HOT. I was already gone for the day but he stopped by my office to personally invite me to his party. My boss called me to tell me since she knew how I felt about him. She agreed to accompany me to the party so I didn't have to go alone. I was extremely nervous, hadn't eaten and plied myself with many beers to have the courage to talk to him. Turns out he had broken up with his girlfriend. He was single, I was single, I was probably never going to see him again so I took the opportunity to have my dream fulfilled. I am not ashamed of that at all. I was a consenting adult. Do I wish we had used better discretion and chose a better location? YES. But hey, hindsight is 20/20. Unfortunately, I was referred to as the "Official Going Away Gift" for the next several going away parties, however, I was unable to attend. Oh and the pictures...they never saw the light of day. Actually, in a way, they did...I knew the guy whose camera was used and he said the film had been exposed when the camera was opened but I still asked him for the roll to make sure. I never developed it so I have to trust that he did the right thing.
8). Puking in the middle of a bar right in front of the guy you are trying to impress. I had dated this guy for 3 months (he is on my boys who stole my heart post) and was trying to win him back. A friend and I went to a bar we knew he patroned on Thursday nights because of it being ThirsTea Thursday. Specials on all kind of teas - the ones with like 5 shots a piece - like Long Island Iced Tea but there were others like California Tea and so forth. He was there as predicted, we didn't speak to him - that wouldn't be casually ending up at the same place (or "being breezy" to any Friends fans). We had a couple teas there and then moved on (and by than I mean followed him) to another bar. We were standing by the dance floor acting all nonchalant when he finally came up and talked to me. I was soooo nervous and had had a lot to drink. My stomach started churning and I felt like I needed to belch. I put my hand under my nose like when you try to squelch a sneeze. My friend asked me if I was ok. I said, "yeah, I just need to burp". Then I starting puking. I tried to hold it back with my hand but it started flying over the top of my hand. It landed in our drinks even. I finally couldn't hold it anymore and just let it go and puked all over the floor. My friend and I looked at each other, started laughing and ran to the bathroom. I had puke in my hair - it was lovely. Man, I really know how to impress a guy, don't I?
9). Ripping out the ass of my skirt while doing the Electric Slide. A bar I mentioned earlier that I patroned a lot in my early twenties hosted a lot of Ladies Nights. What better way to draw the guys in than to offer free drinks for 4 hrs to any lady wearing a skirt. So, we'd don the appropriate attire for the appropriate 4 hrs and then change into shorts we left in the car. One night though, I can't remember if the skirt was particularly too tight at the beginning of the night or after 4 hrs of drinking but we were on the dance floor doing the Electric Slide and one time when I leaned over, as required by the dance, my skirt ripped up the back. Thank God I was wearing pretty panties! Thank God I was wearing panties! Just kidding - I have never been one to go commando (another Friends reference).
10). Getting caught giving a hand job to some guy at the drive in...by your brother. This would have been the end of 9th grade. The drive in WAS the Friday night place to be. I went with some friends and my brother went seperately with some friends. After a lot of Everclear and Orange Juice (or maybe not a lot because, I mean, it was Everclear after all - it doesn't really take a lot), two young girls stumbled around the drive in, looking for new friends. Later on, one of those young girls was in the front seat with one new friend only making out I think because her Aunt Flo was visiting (and was right there in the car with them). And the other young girl was in the back seat with the other new friend making out...and giving a hand job. After a while, there was a knock on the window of the back seat door. Young girl #2 looks up only to see her older brother standing there. Hand job O-VER. I didn't really care one way or the other...I'm sure the new friend did. In fact, I think he was a little put off because he called the young girl a slut and young girl #1's older brother and his friend hand to teach him the polite way to refer to said young girls.
11). Deciding to publish these embarrassing moments.
Friday, March 14, 2008
Days 11 - 14, I need a pardon please...
Who do I talk to about getting a pardon for Days 11 - 13? And Day 14's list will be the reasons why I need the pardon. Here is what happened to me in those days.
1). Got a tooth pulled. (The possible side effects of the surgery was going to be my list that day. They were pretty scary. But the Vicodin helps.)
2). My mom went into the hospital.
3). My 3 year old went into the hospital (after 7 hrs of vomiting every 15-20 minutes)
That was just Day 11.
4). Father of older boys resistant to keeping them while Jace is in hospital because he doesn't want his "new" family exposed to whatever Jace had. Putting me in the position of having to choose between the older boys and the little boy. Who I should be with.
5). I come down with whatever Jace had while he is still in the hospital. Spent all night either on the toilet or hovering over it.
That was day 12.
6). Jace is released and spends evening at dad's while I recover.
7). Ken comes down with whatever Jace had. He decided to add a degree of difficulty by combining being on the toilet and hovering over the garbage simultaneously.
That was Day 13.
8). Jace starts the vomitting again at 2:30 am and this time adds diareaha to the mix. Obviously thanks to the quality time spend with Dad.
9) Oldest son leaves book bag at home and calls from school for me to bring it to him. He can spend a 1/2 hour before the bus comes watching SportsCenter but step right over his book bag on the way out the door.
10). After taking shower to wash off the "death warmed over" look I had been sporting for a couple days, leave to head to school and find an almost flat tire.
11). Have to drive on flat to 3 gas stations before I find a working source of free air.
12). Spend rest of day working from home to catch up on what I missed. (Don't tell anyone that I could get caught up in 6 hrs after missing 3 days of work. That's our little secret.)
1). Got a tooth pulled. (The possible side effects of the surgery was going to be my list that day. They were pretty scary. But the Vicodin helps.)
2). My mom went into the hospital.
3). My 3 year old went into the hospital (after 7 hrs of vomiting every 15-20 minutes)
That was just Day 11.
4). Father of older boys resistant to keeping them while Jace is in hospital because he doesn't want his "new" family exposed to whatever Jace had. Putting me in the position of having to choose between the older boys and the little boy. Who I should be with.
5). I come down with whatever Jace had while he is still in the hospital. Spent all night either on the toilet or hovering over it.
That was day 12.
6). Jace is released and spends evening at dad's while I recover.
7). Ken comes down with whatever Jace had. He decided to add a degree of difficulty by combining being on the toilet and hovering over the garbage simultaneously.
That was Day 13.
8). Jace starts the vomitting again at 2:30 am and this time adds diareaha to the mix. Obviously thanks to the quality time spend with Dad.
9) Oldest son leaves book bag at home and calls from school for me to bring it to him. He can spend a 1/2 hour before the bus comes watching SportsCenter but step right over his book bag on the way out the door.
10). After taking shower to wash off the "death warmed over" look I had been sporting for a couple days, leave to head to school and find an almost flat tire.
11). Have to drive on flat to 3 gas stations before I find a working source of free air.
12). Spend rest of day working from home to catch up on what I missed. (Don't tell anyone that I could get caught up in 6 hrs after missing 3 days of work. That's our little secret.)
Monday, March 10, 2008
Day 10 - My First Day of Preschool
Someone asked me today if I was gone in the morning to a seminar and I said, "no, I was at preschool". They said, "oh, going back to school are ya?" . HA. I thought that was funny. Actually it was my first time as classroom helper at Jace's preschool so Day 10's list is what I did at preschool today.
1). Take snack to room - it was our day to bring snack. This is a lot of pressure you know. To bring something all the kids will like and it has to be nutritious. I decided on individual packages of sliced apples (a la McDonald's Apple Dippers - did you know you can buy these at Walmart?) and berry flavored Juicy Juice.
2). Help with "Alley Drop Off" - I had no clue what this was but apparently some people pull up in the alley, boot their kid out of the car and let a perfect stranger walk them to their classroom. I couldn't imagine who would do such a thing and actually no one did - thank goodness. So, instead I held the door for those juggling more than one child.
3). Play in the sand at the Sensory Table - this was the activity about 7 out of the 8 kids wanted to play all at once. Fighting over toys and that's when I knew I was in trouble. I didn't know anyone and I hate correcting other people's kids. I couldn't let them come to blows over wooden race cars that, according Ms. Tracy, aren't supposed to be in the sand anyway, so I had to try to reason with 2 and 3 year olds - boys no less.
4). Watercolors - this was pretty tame but Jace wouldn't let me paint my own picture. He kept coloring over my flowers and rainbow and party balloons with different colors so then you couldn't see my original painting anymore. I wanted to tell on him but thought I would let it slide this time.
5). Reading stories - first I read "You Can Name 100 Trucks" to Jace and Grey (or was it Greg? I couldn't understand - it sounded different each time a teacher said it). And the book was right, I could name 100 trucks...there was the ice cream truck and the lunch truck and the milk truck...it was making me hungry.
6). BIG room - the big room is basically the indoor playground when they can't get outside. There are Little Tykes climbers, lots of ride on toys, mats, bouncy balls. This was another area where sharing has not quite been mastered. I spent most of the time trying to keep kids from latching on to something Jace was playing with so that he wouldn't throw a fit and have my parenting skills put to the test. Could I keep my child from behaving badly and embarrassing me if push came to shove. And push could very well come to shove in the BIG room...no wonder they have the mats!
7). Snack - it was time for the wonderful snack. First we all used magic soap (anti-bacterial gel) and then passed out the apples. The teacher vetoed my juice and decided to serve milk. Something about it needing to be used up...blah, blah, blah. Then she decided that every child did not need their own package of apples but that they could share. I had brought 10 packages, there was plenty but it actually was a good idea because there was like 6 or 7 slices in each one. That really was too much for one small child. But then the other teacher offered anyone who wanted one a peanut butter cracker too. I was like, "you got something against my apples beotch? You wanna take this to the BIG room?". Again, the reason was, "we need to use these up" . Apparently nothing goes to waist at preschool.
8). Dancing - this was how we were going to fill the last 15 minutes of class. We danced with bean bags on various body parts, we danced our way to the store with "Sammy" pretening to fly, swim, crawl and hop rather than walk, we freestyled our way through the last song. We totally had the kids with us on the first song, by the second song most of the boys had drifted off to try to touch toys one last time (even though they knew they were closed after we eat), by the third song it really was just the adults. I was a little nervous when Ms. Tracy showed off her "grapevine" prowless to Ms. Susy (which in my day was called the Electric Slide).
9). Get our coats and bags - I had been watching the clock for the last 45 minutes and 11:30 am had arrived. Time to go. BUMMER and just when I was about to school Ms. Tracy on how to do the Worm. Oh well, there's always next month's helper day.
1). Take snack to room - it was our day to bring snack. This is a lot of pressure you know. To bring something all the kids will like and it has to be nutritious. I decided on individual packages of sliced apples (a la McDonald's Apple Dippers - did you know you can buy these at Walmart?) and berry flavored Juicy Juice.
2). Help with "Alley Drop Off" - I had no clue what this was but apparently some people pull up in the alley, boot their kid out of the car and let a perfect stranger walk them to their classroom. I couldn't imagine who would do such a thing and actually no one did - thank goodness. So, instead I held the door for those juggling more than one child.
3). Play in the sand at the Sensory Table - this was the activity about 7 out of the 8 kids wanted to play all at once. Fighting over toys and that's when I knew I was in trouble. I didn't know anyone and I hate correcting other people's kids. I couldn't let them come to blows over wooden race cars that, according Ms. Tracy, aren't supposed to be in the sand anyway, so I had to try to reason with 2 and 3 year olds - boys no less.
4). Watercolors - this was pretty tame but Jace wouldn't let me paint my own picture. He kept coloring over my flowers and rainbow and party balloons with different colors so then you couldn't see my original painting anymore. I wanted to tell on him but thought I would let it slide this time.
5). Reading stories - first I read "You Can Name 100 Trucks" to Jace and Grey (or was it Greg? I couldn't understand - it sounded different each time a teacher said it). And the book was right, I could name 100 trucks...there was the ice cream truck and the lunch truck and the milk truck...it was making me hungry.
6). BIG room - the big room is basically the indoor playground when they can't get outside. There are Little Tykes climbers, lots of ride on toys, mats, bouncy balls. This was another area where sharing has not quite been mastered. I spent most of the time trying to keep kids from latching on to something Jace was playing with so that he wouldn't throw a fit and have my parenting skills put to the test. Could I keep my child from behaving badly and embarrassing me if push came to shove. And push could very well come to shove in the BIG room...no wonder they have the mats!
7). Snack - it was time for the wonderful snack. First we all used magic soap (anti-bacterial gel) and then passed out the apples. The teacher vetoed my juice and decided to serve milk. Something about it needing to be used up...blah, blah, blah. Then she decided that every child did not need their own package of apples but that they could share. I had brought 10 packages, there was plenty but it actually was a good idea because there was like 6 or 7 slices in each one. That really was too much for one small child. But then the other teacher offered anyone who wanted one a peanut butter cracker too. I was like, "you got something against my apples beotch? You wanna take this to the BIG room?". Again, the reason was, "we need to use these up" . Apparently nothing goes to waist at preschool.
8). Dancing - this was how we were going to fill the last 15 minutes of class. We danced with bean bags on various body parts, we danced our way to the store with "Sammy" pretening to fly, swim, crawl and hop rather than walk, we freestyled our way through the last song. We totally had the kids with us on the first song, by the second song most of the boys had drifted off to try to touch toys one last time (even though they knew they were closed after we eat), by the third song it really was just the adults. I was a little nervous when Ms. Tracy showed off her "grapevine" prowless to Ms. Susy (which in my day was called the Electric Slide).
9). Get our coats and bags - I had been watching the clock for the last 45 minutes and 11:30 am had arrived. Time to go. BUMMER and just when I was about to school Ms. Tracy on how to do the Worm. Oh well, there's always next month's helper day.
Sunday, March 09, 2008
Day 9 - Things I Would Change About My "Self"
Yesterday I concentrated on changes to my body...Day 9's list is things I would change about me - emotionally, mentally, etc. If this ends up being a short list it doesn't necessarily mean I don't think I have much to change, it's because it's late on the 9th and I'd still like to get to bed.
1). I'm fine, how are you? - this is something I actually have been making a conscious effort on for a while. You know how when you run into someone whether it's at work, at a store, at the bank, whatever and they say "how are you?". What do you usually say? I found that my typical response was "fine" or "not too bad" and that was it. I never asked how they were. It's not that I don't care how they are or don't wish to know...I just geniunely don't think to recipricate the sentiment. Then I feel bad. I feel selfish. So, I have been trying to respond, "I'm fine, how are you?" or "not bad, and you?".
2). Don't be short - I'm not talking height...that would have been on yesterday's list. No, there are times when people who annoy the piss out of me and, therefore, already preset without prevocation, I am short with them.
3). Take an interest - along with #1, there are times people ask me what's new with me and I tell them. Then I walk away without ever asking them the same. I am interested in other people's lifes. I don't think I am a selfish person...again, I just don't think to ask. I feel bad about that. I care a lot about my family and friends and I should show more interest.
4). Reach out and touch someone - I need to call relatives that are in other states more. I hardly ever talk to my brother who lives in Wisconsin. I never call him and, in return, he never calls me. I only talk to my aunt in Missouri when something happens to my mother. I've been trying to keep in touch with Misti by phone, not just e-mail, since she moved - talked to her a couple hours today. I should do that with more people. I have free long distance - their is NO reason not to take advantage of that.
5). Stop being a "react first, think later" person - I have accomplished this in some areas of my life, albeit with some backsliding, but still need work in others. Like with my kids. I am not proud to say I am a yeller. Something happens and I yell (react) first, then feel really bad (think) later when I realize it wasn't that bad. Why is it I can tell other people it doesn't do any good to get stew about something when, in the end, the result will be the same but can't always do that myself?
6). Be more gracious - for some reason it's really hard for me to say "thank you" and saying "I'm sorry" is virtually impossible. It's gotten me a bad rap in my family too. When someone does something nice or even goes so far as to save my ass, I am extremely thankful and I want to tell them so but I get a mental block and as much as I want to say the words, I physically cannot say them. I have no idea why.
1). I'm fine, how are you? - this is something I actually have been making a conscious effort on for a while. You know how when you run into someone whether it's at work, at a store, at the bank, whatever and they say "how are you?". What do you usually say? I found that my typical response was "fine" or "not too bad" and that was it. I never asked how they were. It's not that I don't care how they are or don't wish to know...I just geniunely don't think to recipricate the sentiment. Then I feel bad. I feel selfish. So, I have been trying to respond, "I'm fine, how are you?" or "not bad, and you?".
2). Don't be short - I'm not talking height...that would have been on yesterday's list. No, there are times when people who annoy the piss out of me and, therefore, already preset without prevocation, I am short with them.
3). Take an interest - along with #1, there are times people ask me what's new with me and I tell them. Then I walk away without ever asking them the same. I am interested in other people's lifes. I don't think I am a selfish person...again, I just don't think to ask. I feel bad about that. I care a lot about my family and friends and I should show more interest.
4). Reach out and touch someone - I need to call relatives that are in other states more. I hardly ever talk to my brother who lives in Wisconsin. I never call him and, in return, he never calls me. I only talk to my aunt in Missouri when something happens to my mother. I've been trying to keep in touch with Misti by phone, not just e-mail, since she moved - talked to her a couple hours today. I should do that with more people. I have free long distance - their is NO reason not to take advantage of that.
5). Stop being a "react first, think later" person - I have accomplished this in some areas of my life, albeit with some backsliding, but still need work in others. Like with my kids. I am not proud to say I am a yeller. Something happens and I yell (react) first, then feel really bad (think) later when I realize it wasn't that bad. Why is it I can tell other people it doesn't do any good to get stew about something when, in the end, the result will be the same but can't always do that myself?
6). Be more gracious - for some reason it's really hard for me to say "thank you" and saying "I'm sorry" is virtually impossible. It's gotten me a bad rap in my family too. When someone does something nice or even goes so far as to save my ass, I am extremely thankful and I want to tell them so but I get a mental block and as much as I want to say the words, I physically cannot say them. I have no idea why.
Saturday, March 08, 2008
Day 8 - Things I Would Like to Change About My Body
Day 8's list is the things I'd like to change about my body.
1) Lose weight - I have struggled with my weight ever since I had my second child. When he was 1 year old, I still weighed the same as I did the day he was born. I'm sure that played a part in my boyfriend turning to someone else. (That still makes him the bad guy though for not loving me for who I am.) The year he left (1996), mostly because of the job I had at the time (very active, very physical), I lost something like 45 lbs. It was great! Of course I put a lot of that weight back. In 2001, mostly because of the anti-depressant Prozac and a lovely supplement called Fat Burners, I again lost about 30 lbs. It was great! I got a lot of male attention that summer and met my husband that fall. I, again, put all of that weight back on and then some. During my last pregnancy (2004), although I only gained 17 lbs, for the 1st time in my life, I hit over 200 lbs. MAN - I've probably only told a couple people that ever! It's embarrassing. Every New Year I say I am going to diet and I never stick with it. This year has been no different. But my 20 year class reunion is this summer so I am stating right here and now that my goal is to lose at least 40 lbs by then...50 would be better. I am seriously thinking about hiring a personal training. I need someone to kick my butt.
2). My teeth - they are not the healthiest to say the least. They are yellow, crooked and rotting. Man, I am really painting myself as a vision here aren't I? Fat and ugly comes to mind. My parents didn't have the money for me to get braces - I do not fault them for that. Dental hygene was also not a priority in our house growing up. It was that way for them when they grew up. They probably brushed with baking soda. For as long as I can remember, both my parents had dentures - at young ages. I was in the process of paying for my own braces at one point in my life but lost my job so that went by the way side. I do brush every day but it's almost like a little too late. Again, it's embarrassing. A little girl at my son's day care the other day asked me if I brushed my teeth and then kinda waved her hand in front of her noise so I guess that meant I had bad breathe too. Man - nothing like a confidence boost from a 4 year old. They are brutally honest. I felt the need to defend myself, "yeah I brushed my teeth but I've eated and have been drinking pop since then. Really I'm not a scary person!".
3) My eyes - meaning I would like to have Lazik. I know I am lucky to only have slightly bad eyesight compared to some. I thought I was bad at a prescription of -1.75 'til I've become aware that some people I know have -5 or -8 I think someone said and I was like, "OMG - you must be frickin' blind". Just kidding. But still, I would love to wake up in the morning and look at a clock and actually be able to see what time it is. Too look down the long hallway at work and actually see who is standing down there. I have another problem with my eyes. I have severe eye allergies. I have had prescription eye drops but when I ran out, rather than call my eye dr for an appointment, I started using Visine. I used it every day for over 2 years and now I have permanently dialated blood vessels in my eyes. My eyes are bloodshot all the time. I look drunk or stoned all the time. Of course if I do have alcohol then it's even worse. It's embarassing. I worry that if I meet a potential suiter, it will be a turn off. I worry if I would ever be in search of a job again, it would be a turn off. I could come across as looking hung over.
4) My cheekbones - I have high cheek bones and I HATE them. I know, I know - high cheek bones are supposed to be covetted. They are supposed to be money in the bag for models. But, for me, I hate them. Why, because when I smile, those cheek bones are even more pronounced and just take over my face. I have always been self-concious about it. Whenever I have my picture taken, I hold back my smile so that my cheek bones are in check and end up not smiling at all or it looks forced. Biggest case in point, my best friend's wedding back in 1994. I held back my smile in all the wedding photos but to me, in the moment, I still felt like I was smiling enough. The pictures come back and I am not smiling in one of them. That was embarrassing. No really, I felt bad, felt like I had ruined her pictures all over my insecurities. On second thought, maybe I didn't smile because I was 6 months pregnant and crammed into a bridesmaid dress. HA. Just kidding.
5). My hair - I have very fine, limp hair, OHH and have barely changed the way I style it since the 80's. Ok so it's not mall hair but I also cannot go without lift on top and cannot have it straight by my face. So, I haven't leaped into the last decade where basically everyone has straight hair. I don't know how to do hair. I never can do it the way the stylist does. I think they have an advantage being able to stand behind and above the person to do their hair. I don't have enough hands or the know how to do anything with my hair.
6). My makeup - I still wear blue eye shadow - 'nuff said. Send help - I'm hopeless. I do not know how to apply makeup.
7). Boobs - don't really need more, already a D cup, I just wish they were pointing wear they used to be. I never breast feed my 1st two kids but decided to try it with the 3rd. It wasn't real successful, my milk never really came in, but MAN did it do a number on the twins. They weren't too bad off before that, now, nothing but squish. I really hate to have to move up to the reinforced steel belted bra to keep those babies up.
I'm starting to wonder, with the picture I am painting here, how I ever have the courage to leave the house. I'm pretty much a walking mess. HA.
Ok - moving on...
8). Tatoos - I have one and want more. I love the one I have. It's 3 hearts chainlinked together and each heart has the initial of one of my three boys. It's on my right ankle. The hearts are filled in with black light ink. It looks pink in the normal light but under a black light it glows in the dark - a bright, florescent pink. Props to Johnny at Wildside Tatoo & Body Piercing. I think it is true that once you get inked, you want more. I just haven't decided where and what. I thought about getting something as a permanent toe ring. I've thought about the shoulder blade area and also the lower back area.
9). Belly Button Ring - if I were to loose the weight, I wouldn't mind getting my belly button pierced. I don't know, maybe I am getting too old to wear the crop tops required to actually show it off. I've heard it hurts worse than child birth. I have three kids but all c-sections so I guess I don't know how bad childbirth can get. Dialated 4.5 centemeters was pretty damn painful - I can't imagine 10 centemeters and pushing.
1) Lose weight - I have struggled with my weight ever since I had my second child. When he was 1 year old, I still weighed the same as I did the day he was born. I'm sure that played a part in my boyfriend turning to someone else. (That still makes him the bad guy though for not loving me for who I am.) The year he left (1996), mostly because of the job I had at the time (very active, very physical), I lost something like 45 lbs. It was great! Of course I put a lot of that weight back. In 2001, mostly because of the anti-depressant Prozac and a lovely supplement called Fat Burners, I again lost about 30 lbs. It was great! I got a lot of male attention that summer and met my husband that fall. I, again, put all of that weight back on and then some. During my last pregnancy (2004), although I only gained 17 lbs, for the 1st time in my life, I hit over 200 lbs. MAN - I've probably only told a couple people that ever! It's embarrassing. Every New Year I say I am going to diet and I never stick with it. This year has been no different. But my 20 year class reunion is this summer so I am stating right here and now that my goal is to lose at least 40 lbs by then...50 would be better. I am seriously thinking about hiring a personal training. I need someone to kick my butt.
2). My teeth - they are not the healthiest to say the least. They are yellow, crooked and rotting. Man, I am really painting myself as a vision here aren't I? Fat and ugly comes to mind. My parents didn't have the money for me to get braces - I do not fault them for that. Dental hygene was also not a priority in our house growing up. It was that way for them when they grew up. They probably brushed with baking soda. For as long as I can remember, both my parents had dentures - at young ages. I was in the process of paying for my own braces at one point in my life but lost my job so that went by the way side. I do brush every day but it's almost like a little too late. Again, it's embarrassing. A little girl at my son's day care the other day asked me if I brushed my teeth and then kinda waved her hand in front of her noise so I guess that meant I had bad breathe too. Man - nothing like a confidence boost from a 4 year old. They are brutally honest. I felt the need to defend myself, "yeah I brushed my teeth but I've eated and have been drinking pop since then. Really I'm not a scary person!".
3) My eyes - meaning I would like to have Lazik. I know I am lucky to only have slightly bad eyesight compared to some. I thought I was bad at a prescription of -1.75 'til I've become aware that some people I know have -5 or -8 I think someone said and I was like, "OMG - you must be frickin' blind". Just kidding. But still, I would love to wake up in the morning and look at a clock and actually be able to see what time it is. Too look down the long hallway at work and actually see who is standing down there. I have another problem with my eyes. I have severe eye allergies. I have had prescription eye drops but when I ran out, rather than call my eye dr for an appointment, I started using Visine. I used it every day for over 2 years and now I have permanently dialated blood vessels in my eyes. My eyes are bloodshot all the time. I look drunk or stoned all the time. Of course if I do have alcohol then it's even worse. It's embarassing. I worry that if I meet a potential suiter, it will be a turn off. I worry if I would ever be in search of a job again, it would be a turn off. I could come across as looking hung over.
4) My cheekbones - I have high cheek bones and I HATE them. I know, I know - high cheek bones are supposed to be covetted. They are supposed to be money in the bag for models. But, for me, I hate them. Why, because when I smile, those cheek bones are even more pronounced and just take over my face. I have always been self-concious about it. Whenever I have my picture taken, I hold back my smile so that my cheek bones are in check and end up not smiling at all or it looks forced. Biggest case in point, my best friend's wedding back in 1994. I held back my smile in all the wedding photos but to me, in the moment, I still felt like I was smiling enough. The pictures come back and I am not smiling in one of them. That was embarrassing. No really, I felt bad, felt like I had ruined her pictures all over my insecurities. On second thought, maybe I didn't smile because I was 6 months pregnant and crammed into a bridesmaid dress. HA. Just kidding.
5). My hair - I have very fine, limp hair, OHH and have barely changed the way I style it since the 80's. Ok so it's not mall hair but I also cannot go without lift on top and cannot have it straight by my face. So, I haven't leaped into the last decade where basically everyone has straight hair. I don't know how to do hair. I never can do it the way the stylist does. I think they have an advantage being able to stand behind and above the person to do their hair. I don't have enough hands or the know how to do anything with my hair.
6). My makeup - I still wear blue eye shadow - 'nuff said. Send help - I'm hopeless. I do not know how to apply makeup.
7). Boobs - don't really need more, already a D cup, I just wish they were pointing wear they used to be. I never breast feed my 1st two kids but decided to try it with the 3rd. It wasn't real successful, my milk never really came in, but MAN did it do a number on the twins. They weren't too bad off before that, now, nothing but squish. I really hate to have to move up to the reinforced steel belted bra to keep those babies up.
I'm starting to wonder, with the picture I am painting here, how I ever have the courage to leave the house. I'm pretty much a walking mess. HA.
Ok - moving on...
8). Tatoos - I have one and want more. I love the one I have. It's 3 hearts chainlinked together and each heart has the initial of one of my three boys. It's on my right ankle. The hearts are filled in with black light ink. It looks pink in the normal light but under a black light it glows in the dark - a bright, florescent pink. Props to Johnny at Wildside Tatoo & Body Piercing. I think it is true that once you get inked, you want more. I just haven't decided where and what. I thought about getting something as a permanent toe ring. I've thought about the shoulder blade area and also the lower back area.
9). Belly Button Ring - if I were to loose the weight, I wouldn't mind getting my belly button pierced. I don't know, maybe I am getting too old to wear the crop tops required to actually show it off. I've heard it hurts worse than child birth. I have three kids but all c-sections so I guess I don't know how bad childbirth can get. Dialated 4.5 centemeters was pretty damn painful - I can't imagine 10 centemeters and pushing.
Friday, March 07, 2008
Day 7 - March Birthdays in my Family
Ok so I am taking an easy way out (but my friend is going to pick me up any minute and I still haven't decided which shoes to wear) and Day 7's list is of all the birthdays in my family this month.
March 6 - my dad, Wynne
March 7 - my sister-in-law, Chris
March 9 - my nephew, Justin
March 17 - my brother, Danny
March 20 - my niece, Mikayla
March 28 - my nephew, Colten
March 31 - my niece, Elle and by grandpa, Lester
(note those last 3, the nieces and nephew, are all brother and sisters. All 3 of my one brother's kids were born in March. Summer lovin'.)
March 6 - my dad, Wynne
March 7 - my sister-in-law, Chris
March 9 - my nephew, Justin
March 17 - my brother, Danny
March 20 - my niece, Mikayla
March 28 - my nephew, Colten
March 31 - my niece, Elle and by grandpa, Lester
(note those last 3, the nieces and nephew, are all brother and sisters. All 3 of my one brother's kids were born in March. Summer lovin'.)
Day 6 - Things About my Dad
Ok so I am a day behind right now but my pc is really unstable, it was acting weird and I thought it was going to crash (always paranoid about that having had it happen once) so I was afraid to get on it until I could go get a flash drive to at least save all my digital pictures too before anything happened. Lost all the pics of Jace's 1st year when it crashed before.
So, anyway Day 6's list was going to be in honor of my dad who would have been 75 on the 6th of March.
1). Name - Forest Wynne Kinnison
2). Born - March 6, 1933
3). Birthplace - Princeton, MO (also happens to be the birthplace of Calamity Jane)
4). Died - August 10, 1987 at the age of 54 after a 2 year battle with cancer
5). Parents - Grace Venita Gibson Kinnison and Forrest Avon Kinnison
6). Siblings - Sisters, Vesta and Veda; brother, Lyle
7). Was the light of their lives as evidenced by the many, many, many stories told about him on every trip we made to Missouri
8). Childhood/young adult nickname - Spud
9). Adult nickname - Blinkie (obviously not after one of the ghosts from Pac Man. I never really knew why 'cept I did observe that sometimes when he blinked it was repetively and he also made this gulping sound so maybe that was why.)
10). Was a great singer and songwriter. We recently found out that he sold some songs, giving up the writing rights, to either Hank Snow or Cal Smith (can't remember which) to pay for his oldest son to go to college.
11). Children - (2) boys and (1) girl in each of his two marriages. Danny, Mike, Sherry (from 1st marriage), Roger, Lyle and Lori (me) (from 2nd marriage).
12). Was a HUGE practical joker. Was known to put camping buddy's vehicle and camper up for sale while they were sleeping or put all their camper belongings out for a yard sale while they were at church.
13). Hated Kenny Rogers.
14). Occupation - truck driver and construction worker.
15). Went by his middle name, Wynne, which was passed down to two of his sons and three of this grandson - all first borns. Danny Wynne, Roger Wynne, Justin Wynne, Colten Wynne and Brendon Wynne. We are hoping the grandsons keep the tradition going.
16). Cherished and missed husband and father.
So, anyway Day 6's list was going to be in honor of my dad who would have been 75 on the 6th of March.
1). Name - Forest Wynne Kinnison
2). Born - March 6, 1933
3). Birthplace - Princeton, MO (also happens to be the birthplace of Calamity Jane)
4). Died - August 10, 1987 at the age of 54 after a 2 year battle with cancer
5). Parents - Grace Venita Gibson Kinnison and Forrest Avon Kinnison
6). Siblings - Sisters, Vesta and Veda; brother, Lyle
7). Was the light of their lives as evidenced by the many, many, many stories told about him on every trip we made to Missouri
8). Childhood/young adult nickname - Spud
9). Adult nickname - Blinkie (obviously not after one of the ghosts from Pac Man. I never really knew why 'cept I did observe that sometimes when he blinked it was repetively and he also made this gulping sound so maybe that was why.)
10). Was a great singer and songwriter. We recently found out that he sold some songs, giving up the writing rights, to either Hank Snow or Cal Smith (can't remember which) to pay for his oldest son to go to college.
11). Children - (2) boys and (1) girl in each of his two marriages. Danny, Mike, Sherry (from 1st marriage), Roger, Lyle and Lori (me) (from 2nd marriage).
12). Was a HUGE practical joker. Was known to put camping buddy's vehicle and camper up for sale while they were sleeping or put all their camper belongings out for a yard sale while they were at church.
13). Hated Kenny Rogers.
14). Occupation - truck driver and construction worker.
15). Went by his middle name, Wynne, which was passed down to two of his sons and three of this grandson - all first borns. Danny Wynne, Roger Wynne, Justin Wynne, Colten Wynne and Brendon Wynne. We are hoping the grandsons keep the tradition going.
16). Cherished and missed husband and father.
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
Day 5 - Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew Up
Day 5's list is the things I wanted to be when I grew up. When thinking of this list I realized I spent a lot of time playing BY myself (not WITH myself) as a child. I had two older brothers who must not have ever had time for me. I don't think kids these days have to use their imaginations as much as I did.
1). Beautician - what little girl didn't? But did any of you actually cut a big hunk out of the bangs of all the neighborhood kids thinking you actually knew what you were doing? Yeah - my mom got a few angry phones calls on that one.
2). Car Hop - I would ride around my grandparents' concrete patio on roller skates taking fictional orders from invisible people and delivering imaginary food. I thought that would be the coolest job in the world.
3). Gymnast - I never took one gymnastics lesson but again, who didn't want to be Mary Lou Retten? All I really knew how to do was a cartwheel and a round off but I would do "floor exercise" in my front yard. If I fell, I simply pretended that was a planned part of the routine. A gold medal effort every time.
3). School teacher - a tv tray was my desk and all the Teen Beat pinup posters on the back of my bedroom door were my students. Oh, people like Ralph Macchio, John Schneider (as Bo Duke), John Stamos, Shaun Cassidy, probably even Leif Garrett and those Menudo boys. They were good students - never talked back.
4). Travel Agent - not just you run of the mill, trips to Disney World travel agent. No, I used my National Geographic countries of the world card index files to book trips. I cut out slips of paper, made spaces to fill in all the pertinent info like name, dates, cost, etc. I would unplug my pink princess phone in my room to use for all the incoming calls to my office. Same tv tray was again my desk. I would answer a call, fill out a slip and file it behind the card of the country they would be traveling to.
5). Journalist - this only was a thought because of how much I like to write. I only took one journalism class in high school and never tried to write for the school paper because it was all a popularity contest anyway. I was more under-the-radar I guess. I did find out after high school that I poem a wrote for a classmate killed in car accident won a journalism award (as part of the article it accompanied). Too bad another classmate had laid claim that she had written the poem (she asked me to write it) and got credit for it.
6). Marine Biologist - this came from my love of killer whales. I think they are the coolest creature and I wanted to train them. A friend of mine has an uncle who was a trainer and worked with Shamu. OMG - that would be the ultimate! So, I seriously looked into this. I was going to start off at community college and then transfer to University of Southern California since they had a great Oceanography program. In the end, I chickened out. I didn't think I could hack the course study involved so I never tried. That could go on my list of regrets if I do one.
My actual job now that I'm all grown up (am I grown up?) is basically clerical (payroll)...see, all the travel agent detail worked to my advantage. But the best job of all (and it is a job)...MOM.
1). Beautician - what little girl didn't? But did any of you actually cut a big hunk out of the bangs of all the neighborhood kids thinking you actually knew what you were doing? Yeah - my mom got a few angry phones calls on that one.
2). Car Hop - I would ride around my grandparents' concrete patio on roller skates taking fictional orders from invisible people and delivering imaginary food. I thought that would be the coolest job in the world.
3). Gymnast - I never took one gymnastics lesson but again, who didn't want to be Mary Lou Retten? All I really knew how to do was a cartwheel and a round off but I would do "floor exercise" in my front yard. If I fell, I simply pretended that was a planned part of the routine. A gold medal effort every time.
3). School teacher - a tv tray was my desk and all the Teen Beat pinup posters on the back of my bedroom door were my students. Oh, people like Ralph Macchio, John Schneider (as Bo Duke), John Stamos, Shaun Cassidy, probably even Leif Garrett and those Menudo boys. They were good students - never talked back.
4). Travel Agent - not just you run of the mill, trips to Disney World travel agent. No, I used my National Geographic countries of the world card index files to book trips. I cut out slips of paper, made spaces to fill in all the pertinent info like name, dates, cost, etc. I would unplug my pink princess phone in my room to use for all the incoming calls to my office. Same tv tray was again my desk. I would answer a call, fill out a slip and file it behind the card of the country they would be traveling to.
5). Journalist - this only was a thought because of how much I like to write. I only took one journalism class in high school and never tried to write for the school paper because it was all a popularity contest anyway. I was more under-the-radar I guess. I did find out after high school that I poem a wrote for a classmate killed in car accident won a journalism award (as part of the article it accompanied). Too bad another classmate had laid claim that she had written the poem (she asked me to write it) and got credit for it.
6). Marine Biologist - this came from my love of killer whales. I think they are the coolest creature and I wanted to train them. A friend of mine has an uncle who was a trainer and worked with Shamu. OMG - that would be the ultimate! So, I seriously looked into this. I was going to start off at community college and then transfer to University of Southern California since they had a great Oceanography program. In the end, I chickened out. I didn't think I could hack the course study involved so I never tried. That could go on my list of regrets if I do one.
My actual job now that I'm all grown up (am I grown up?) is basically clerical (payroll)...see, all the travel agent detail worked to my advantage. But the best job of all (and it is a job)...MOM.
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
Day 4 - Boys Who Stole My Heart
Day 4's list is the boys/men who truly had my heart and by that I mean that when they dumped me, I became the psycho ex-girlfriend - just kidding - maybe - who's asking anyway...
1) Tom Titus - my first love, my first heartache, my first...well, you know. We "went together" off and on from 7th grade thu 11th grade. We finally just grew apart...when I started secretly seeing my boss at Hardee's.
2) Dave Yirkousky - my boss at Hardee's, the first "older" man (wait - possibly the ONLY older man). I was 16, he was 22 or 24, I can't remember now which. Yes, I know this relationship was highly inappropriate (did I mention he was married). He was totally gorgeous. Brown hair and full 70's mustache, muscles. Phew!
3). Chad Drexler - the first younger man (trend that didn't work out so well for me), an aspiring model. He was only a year younger than me. I went to his senior prom with him. Which probably made him BMOC (big man on campus) going with an older woman. BUT I had one of the most romantic moments of my life at that prom. We were dancing and the heel of my shoe kept slipping over a crack in the floor. He picked me up (bride over the threshold style) and carried me to another spot on the dance floor. People started clapping - it was very cool.
4). Chris Gahring - again a younger man but major HOTTIE to the maxx and he had a crotch rocket. I remember the first thing my friend and I noticed about him has his butt. I went out with his friend a couple times first and then decided I liked Chris more so I did the right thing and called it off with the friend. Then one night there was a knock on my door and it was Chris. Turned out he liked me too. We only dated for 3 months but it was a GREAT 3 months.
5). James Boyle - younger (see the trend?). Despite it not being the most stable of relationships (abusive ones never are), I was in love with James, I agreed to marry him. But he went away to school and didn't want me to come with him when all I wanted was us to be together - no matter where it was. I was crushed and during the seperation I fell for someone else.
6) Dave Boyle - I know, I know the name is no coincidence. Yes, I dated one brother and then the other. Not my proudest moments - especially when you try to explain to your boys how you dated their uncle and their dad. But the attraction was too strong for my weak soul. I couldn't stay away. We were together 3 years and had (2) great boys. BUT he left me for a 17 year old little chipee that he worked with.
I know I should be listing my current husband but since we are getting divorced, I've had to take a long hard look at the reasons why I married him in the first place and I can't say I did it for the right reasons. I didn't love him the way he deserved to be loved. I don't think either of us did. It's too bad but what are you gonna do 'cept move on. And we did create the most precious little boy together.
1) Tom Titus - my first love, my first heartache, my first...well, you know. We "went together" off and on from 7th grade thu 11th grade. We finally just grew apart...when I started secretly seeing my boss at Hardee's.
2) Dave Yirkousky - my boss at Hardee's, the first "older" man (wait - possibly the ONLY older man). I was 16, he was 22 or 24, I can't remember now which. Yes, I know this relationship was highly inappropriate (did I mention he was married). He was totally gorgeous. Brown hair and full 70's mustache, muscles. Phew!
3). Chad Drexler - the first younger man (trend that didn't work out so well for me), an aspiring model. He was only a year younger than me. I went to his senior prom with him. Which probably made him BMOC (big man on campus) going with an older woman. BUT I had one of the most romantic moments of my life at that prom. We were dancing and the heel of my shoe kept slipping over a crack in the floor. He picked me up (bride over the threshold style) and carried me to another spot on the dance floor. People started clapping - it was very cool.
4). Chris Gahring - again a younger man but major HOTTIE to the maxx and he had a crotch rocket. I remember the first thing my friend and I noticed about him has his butt. I went out with his friend a couple times first and then decided I liked Chris more so I did the right thing and called it off with the friend. Then one night there was a knock on my door and it was Chris. Turned out he liked me too. We only dated for 3 months but it was a GREAT 3 months.
5). James Boyle - younger (see the trend?). Despite it not being the most stable of relationships (abusive ones never are), I was in love with James, I agreed to marry him. But he went away to school and didn't want me to come with him when all I wanted was us to be together - no matter where it was. I was crushed and during the seperation I fell for someone else.
6) Dave Boyle - I know, I know the name is no coincidence. Yes, I dated one brother and then the other. Not my proudest moments - especially when you try to explain to your boys how you dated their uncle and their dad. But the attraction was too strong for my weak soul. I couldn't stay away. We were together 3 years and had (2) great boys. BUT he left me for a 17 year old little chipee that he worked with.
I know I should be listing my current husband but since we are getting divorced, I've had to take a long hard look at the reasons why I married him in the first place and I can't say I did it for the right reasons. I didn't love him the way he deserved to be loved. I don't think either of us did. It's too bad but what are you gonna do 'cept move on. And we did create the most precious little boy together.
Monday, March 03, 2008
Day 3 - List of Friends I've Lost Track Of
Day 3's list is of friends I have lost track of over the years. The ones that I have no idea where they are now or how to ever reach them. If anyone knows the 2008 version of these people - let me know.
1). Angie Hickey Stegall - last heard of in Georgia I think...possibly northern Florida. Dad - Walt, mother - Judy (I believe), sister - Michaela. Married David Stegall but later divorced. Whole family was huge into car racing.
2). Angie Houlahan - moved to CR from Van Horne, IA.
3). Missy Gage Williams - last heard of in Phoenix, AZ. Mom - Sue (I believe), sister - Kim. I aways regret staying in to watch Fame (fave show at the time) instead of spending one more hour with her before she moved away.
4). Edith Smith - last heard of in Minnesota. Has a son. I'll never forget her mom made me eat peas. I mixed them with my cole slaw to get them down.
5). Debbie Benda - I actually saw her locally a few years back. Dad - Joe, mother - ahh I can't remember, but I do remember her mother had an entire room in her house filled with owls.
6). JoAnn Dighton Lane something - last heard of moving to Springfield, MO with husband, Joshua, and daughter, Samantha.
7). Jenni Wisehart - nothing to go on. I do, however, work with a lady who used to be married to her uncle I think it was.
8). Julie Meyer - she's mormon. Dad - Lyle, sister - Linda, brother - David, twin brother/sister. First person I met when moved to CR.
9). Brenda something - from Shellsburg, IA. Had a playhouse that looked like the Century 21 house. Used by Century 21 in a parade once.
10). Kim something - worked at Jacks Discount, dated Matt Kulish (may he rest in peace) in high school.
1). Angie Hickey Stegall - last heard of in Georgia I think...possibly northern Florida. Dad - Walt, mother - Judy (I believe), sister - Michaela. Married David Stegall but later divorced. Whole family was huge into car racing.
2). Angie Houlahan - moved to CR from Van Horne, IA.
3). Missy Gage Williams - last heard of in Phoenix, AZ. Mom - Sue (I believe), sister - Kim. I aways regret staying in to watch Fame (fave show at the time) instead of spending one more hour with her before she moved away.
4). Edith Smith - last heard of in Minnesota. Has a son. I'll never forget her mom made me eat peas. I mixed them with my cole slaw to get them down.
5). Debbie Benda - I actually saw her locally a few years back. Dad - Joe, mother - ahh I can't remember, but I do remember her mother had an entire room in her house filled with owls.
6). JoAnn Dighton Lane something - last heard of moving to Springfield, MO with husband, Joshua, and daughter, Samantha.
7). Jenni Wisehart - nothing to go on. I do, however, work with a lady who used to be married to her uncle I think it was.
8). Julie Meyer - she's mormon. Dad - Lyle, sister - Linda, brother - David, twin brother/sister. First person I met when moved to CR.
9). Brenda something - from Shellsburg, IA. Had a playhouse that looked like the Century 21 house. Used by Century 21 in a parade once.
10). Kim something - worked at Jacks Discount, dated Matt Kulish (may he rest in peace) in high school.
let's pretend it is still March 2nd...
Depending on how your day went, you may not want to still be on March 2nd but since I missed NaBloPoMo for that day, I need an extension. I have some good lists in mind for the rest of the month but for now I will just post my list for why I didn't post a list on March 2nd.
1) Spent all morning on Ebay.
(Thank God someone outbid me. $250 for NutriSystem meals was definitely an impulse buy.)
2) Picked up ex after his release from county jail.
(You know, exactly what God intended on the "day of rest".)
3) Took him to pick up his smashed vehicle from the tow lot.
(Yes, not only did he get a DUI but he wrecked his car. Oddly enough - these two events did not happen at the same time.)
4). My kids stole my modem the rest of the day to play Xbox 360 Live.
(I'm starting to think there is crack flowing through those connections because they are serious addicted. My dad used to say I had the telephone growing out of my ear, for them it's the Xbox headset.)
1) Spent all morning on Ebay.
(Thank God someone outbid me. $250 for NutriSystem meals was definitely an impulse buy.)
2) Picked up ex after his release from county jail.
(You know, exactly what God intended on the "day of rest".)
3) Took him to pick up his smashed vehicle from the tow lot.
(Yes, not only did he get a DUI but he wrecked his car. Oddly enough - these two events did not happen at the same time.)
4). My kids stole my modem the rest of the day to play Xbox 360 Live.
(I'm starting to think there is crack flowing through those connections because they are serious addicted. My dad used to say I had the telephone growing out of my ear, for them it's the Xbox headset.)
Sunday, March 02, 2008
the 3 am phone call...
Ever get these...the 3 am phone call...they are never good are they? Back in my younger (stupid) days the 3 am phone call was usually a bootie call and being the dumb, lovesick girl that I was...I would come running...even driving 45 minutes to get there...ok - little off track there. But usually that call is someone in trouble - they've been arrested, they need a ride, they caught their boyfriend cheating, etc. Or someone is drunk - they want you to party with them, they are remembering you really were the right one for them, the caught their girlfriend cheating, etc. And the call I got at 3 am this morning was no different. It was my ex-husband (ok we are still married but I moved out a year ago today no less) got picked up for drunk driving.
I don't know any particulars about how drunk or anything - he was calling to see if I would pick him up after his arrainment - but I really wasn't surprise by the event. For a big guy, close to 6 ft and pushing 220 - 230 lbs, he really can't hold his alcohol. He is silly drunk on oh I'd say 6 or 7 beers and if it's hard alcohol at all - hell, he is out of the game after 2 or 3. But you could never tell him this. I think it was a pride thing, again back to his size, there is no way a guy of his size was going to admit he couldn't hang with the baddest of the bad. Still I tried. I told him several times that he was going to get picked up some day because he doesn't realize his limits at all.
This is the 2nd person I know that got picked up in the last month. Him 30 years old and the other, well, has to be in at least their mid-30's as well. I don't understand this at this age. Knowing that it's an automatic driving suspension of 6 months, how do you function without being able to drive? How do you get to your job to support your family and how do you drive your kids around to all of their stuff? I would think it would be a major source of embarrassment.
That's not to say I am innocent. I KNOW there are several times in my life I should not have driven anywhere. Times I don't even remember driving home. And I actually got picked up for DUI back in 1992 - but you see, that is part of my point. That was 16 years ago. And that's not to say because it happened in my early 20's it wasn't any less irresponsible - just more understandable perhaps given who didn't spend their early 20's partying. I still go out with friends for drinks but I would like to think I pace myself now so that I'm not taking huge chances at the end of the evening. I don't drink to get drunk anymore. I don't know what I would do if I lost my license and couldn't get us anywhere we needed to be. When I lost my license with that DUI, I lived at home with my mom and she drove me to work and picked me up every day. Is that what I would do now pushing 40 years old, have my mommy drive me and my kids every where we needed to go? Not really where I want to be in my life at this point. And that's even touching the fines and the mandatory jail time.
And I'm also not fooling myself, I know that there really is a vast degree of difference between how I feel I am at the end of the night and how impaired I actually might be if I took one of those simulated tests that gauge your reaction times. If I am honest, I probably do still take some risk when I drink. I used to always say, "it's not illegal to drink and drive - it's only illegal to be drunk and drive" . That's logic for you huh? In our state, the legal limit is .08. For some people that could realistically be one drink. 16 years ago it was .10 and my BAL was .186 - almost twice the legal limit. Did I think I was fine? Of course I did. Was I? Probably not. I had been drinking for like 8 hrs straight - so I highly doubt it.
Ok - so this post is turning on me a bit...I'm not coming off so well...(hehe)...all I was trying to say is that at some point in your life, the drinking has to become secondary. Drinking doesn't have to be to get drunk. Know your limits. Make that 3 am call for a ride home then, rather than a ride home after you've been released from jail.
I don't know any particulars about how drunk or anything - he was calling to see if I would pick him up after his arrainment - but I really wasn't surprise by the event. For a big guy, close to 6 ft and pushing 220 - 230 lbs, he really can't hold his alcohol. He is silly drunk on oh I'd say 6 or 7 beers and if it's hard alcohol at all - hell, he is out of the game after 2 or 3. But you could never tell him this. I think it was a pride thing, again back to his size, there is no way a guy of his size was going to admit he couldn't hang with the baddest of the bad. Still I tried. I told him several times that he was going to get picked up some day because he doesn't realize his limits at all.
This is the 2nd person I know that got picked up in the last month. Him 30 years old and the other, well, has to be in at least their mid-30's as well. I don't understand this at this age. Knowing that it's an automatic driving suspension of 6 months, how do you function without being able to drive? How do you get to your job to support your family and how do you drive your kids around to all of their stuff? I would think it would be a major source of embarrassment.
That's not to say I am innocent. I KNOW there are several times in my life I should not have driven anywhere. Times I don't even remember driving home. And I actually got picked up for DUI back in 1992 - but you see, that is part of my point. That was 16 years ago. And that's not to say because it happened in my early 20's it wasn't any less irresponsible - just more understandable perhaps given who didn't spend their early 20's partying. I still go out with friends for drinks but I would like to think I pace myself now so that I'm not taking huge chances at the end of the evening. I don't drink to get drunk anymore. I don't know what I would do if I lost my license and couldn't get us anywhere we needed to be. When I lost my license with that DUI, I lived at home with my mom and she drove me to work and picked me up every day. Is that what I would do now pushing 40 years old, have my mommy drive me and my kids every where we needed to go? Not really where I want to be in my life at this point. And that's even touching the fines and the mandatory jail time.
And I'm also not fooling myself, I know that there really is a vast degree of difference between how I feel I am at the end of the night and how impaired I actually might be if I took one of those simulated tests that gauge your reaction times. If I am honest, I probably do still take some risk when I drink. I used to always say, "it's not illegal to drink and drive - it's only illegal to be drunk and drive" . That's logic for you huh? In our state, the legal limit is .08. For some people that could realistically be one drink. 16 years ago it was .10 and my BAL was .186 - almost twice the legal limit. Did I think I was fine? Of course I did. Was I? Probably not. I had been drinking for like 8 hrs straight - so I highly doubt it.
Ok - so this post is turning on me a bit...I'm not coming off so well...(hehe)...all I was trying to say is that at some point in your life, the drinking has to become secondary. Drinking doesn't have to be to get drunk. Know your limits. Make that 3 am call for a ride home then, rather than a ride home after you've been released from jail.
Saturday, March 01, 2008
Newbie
DISCLAIMER...I don't know if I am supposed to post on the NaBloPoMo page only or there and on my original blog too so here goes...
I decided to give NaBloPoMo a try since I see it all over the place when reading through a friend's google reader feed. This month's theme is "lists" and since I am soooooooo tired...the big boys are away for the night, the little one is asleep and I am not too far behind him..my first list will be what I did today (you know all the crap that made me this tired).
1) Jace (3 year old) woke me up at 7:00 am
2) tried 'til 8:00 am to fake Jace into believing it was still nigh-night time
3) played around on computer for couple hours 'til I realized my rent was due by noon
4) left at 11:15 am to get gas and go to property management office
5) got back at 12:30 pm with Wendy's in tow for lunch
6) called #1 son (Brendon) to make arrangements to pick him up from friend's
7) watched some tv, read a magazine and probably squeezed in a little more internet
8) tried at 2:30 pm to get Jace to take a nap
9) gave up at 2:40 pm when it was obvious he was going keep thinking of things he needed to do before laying down
10). called ex a little before 3:00 pm to see if I could stop and pick up child support $, he offered to watch Jace so I could go to the grocery store
11) leave 5 minutes later to his house which happens to be one block away - convenient huh
12) pick up #1 son at friend's at 3:15 pm and drive him to baseball practice that starts at 3:30 pm
13) go to car wash (a fruitless effort given all the slushy salt from melted snow but it made me feel better)
14) go to Walmart for misc and grocery shopping, spend $120
15) go back at 5:00 pm to pick up #1 son at practice
16) pick up #3 son at his dad's at 5:30 pm - practice never ends on time
17) carry in groceries and simultaneously try to fix a couple side dishes to go along with our dinner that had been in the oven for the last 2 1/2 hrs while also putting away said groceries
18) sit down to eat
19) get up to clean up table
20) argue with son #1 and #2 (Dallas) about cleaning the basement
21) give Jace a bath at 7:00 pm
22) load all three boys in truck a little after 8:00 pm to haul the big boys back to earlier mentioned friend's house to spend the night
23) 8:30 pm carry Jace into bed - fell asleep on the drive - thank you God
24) get the mail that has been accummulating for a few days
25) skim through to see if Soap Opera Digest came - no, so toss all others aside
26) fix glass of diet Mt. Dew and grap a choc. choc. chip muffin for a healthy snack
27) skim onscreen television guide
28) check my blog for comments - none - no surprise
29) go to friend's blog to check for new entries
30) go to her google reader where the first post is a NaBloPoMo participant
31) check out what NaBloPoMo is all about
32) join and post
33) feel eyes burning
34) tell myself to take advantage of peace and quiet and go to bed
35) start thinking about tomorrow's list
I decided to give NaBloPoMo a try since I see it all over the place when reading through a friend's google reader feed. This month's theme is "lists" and since I am soooooooo tired...the big boys are away for the night, the little one is asleep and I am not too far behind him..my first list will be what I did today (you know all the crap that made me this tired).
1) Jace (3 year old) woke me up at 7:00 am
2) tried 'til 8:00 am to fake Jace into believing it was still nigh-night time
3) played around on computer for couple hours 'til I realized my rent was due by noon
4) left at 11:15 am to get gas and go to property management office
5) got back at 12:30 pm with Wendy's in tow for lunch
6) called #1 son (Brendon) to make arrangements to pick him up from friend's
7) watched some tv, read a magazine and probably squeezed in a little more internet
8) tried at 2:30 pm to get Jace to take a nap
9) gave up at 2:40 pm when it was obvious he was going keep thinking of things he needed to do before laying down
10). called ex a little before 3:00 pm to see if I could stop and pick up child support $, he offered to watch Jace so I could go to the grocery store
11) leave 5 minutes later to his house which happens to be one block away - convenient huh
12) pick up #1 son at friend's at 3:15 pm and drive him to baseball practice that starts at 3:30 pm
13) go to car wash (a fruitless effort given all the slushy salt from melted snow but it made me feel better)
14) go to Walmart for misc and grocery shopping, spend $120
15) go back at 5:00 pm to pick up #1 son at practice
16) pick up #3 son at his dad's at 5:30 pm - practice never ends on time
17) carry in groceries and simultaneously try to fix a couple side dishes to go along with our dinner that had been in the oven for the last 2 1/2 hrs while also putting away said groceries
18) sit down to eat
19) get up to clean up table
20) argue with son #1 and #2 (Dallas) about cleaning the basement
21) give Jace a bath at 7:00 pm
22) load all three boys in truck a little after 8:00 pm to haul the big boys back to earlier mentioned friend's house to spend the night
23) 8:30 pm carry Jace into bed - fell asleep on the drive - thank you God
24) get the mail that has been accummulating for a few days
25) skim through to see if Soap Opera Digest came - no, so toss all others aside
26) fix glass of diet Mt. Dew and grap a choc. choc. chip muffin for a healthy snack
27) skim onscreen television guide
28) check my blog for comments - none - no surprise
29) go to friend's blog to check for new entries
30) go to her google reader where the first post is a NaBloPoMo participant
31) check out what NaBloPoMo is all about
32) join and post
33) feel eyes burning
34) tell myself to take advantage of peace and quiet and go to bed
35) start thinking about tomorrow's list
There is NOTHING a mother wouldn't do...
There is nothing a mother wouldn't do to ease her child's pain. Am I right?
I was sitting this morning reading post after post on my friend's google reader feed when I heard Jace start crying and calling out in pain from downstairs. I shouted down and asked him what was wrong and he said, "I got a big poop". I went downstairs to find him kneeling on the floor in Dallas' room holding his butt. I whisked him up to the bathroom and placed him on the pot. The poor kid was crying and through the tears strained to say, "it's hurting my butt really bad". What is a mother to do in this situation? I had to do something to ease his pain.
So, I had him throw his arms over my shoulders, I lifted him slightly off the pot, placed my fingers on either side of the giant turd that was lodged in his little bottom - applying reverse pressure, and told him to PUSH. He did and soon we heard the splash. It was music to our ears - something like "splash, splash - splish, splish - oh what a relief it is!"
The look on his face was the equivilent to the mouse pulling the thorn from the lion's paw. Mom had saved the day! Now mom needs to put apple juice on the shopping list.
I was sitting this morning reading post after post on my friend's google reader feed when I heard Jace start crying and calling out in pain from downstairs. I shouted down and asked him what was wrong and he said, "I got a big poop". I went downstairs to find him kneeling on the floor in Dallas' room holding his butt. I whisked him up to the bathroom and placed him on the pot. The poor kid was crying and through the tears strained to say, "it's hurting my butt really bad". What is a mother to do in this situation? I had to do something to ease his pain.
So, I had him throw his arms over my shoulders, I lifted him slightly off the pot, placed my fingers on either side of the giant turd that was lodged in his little bottom - applying reverse pressure, and told him to PUSH. He did and soon we heard the splash. It was music to our ears - something like "splash, splash - splish, splish - oh what a relief it is!"
The look on his face was the equivilent to the mouse pulling the thorn from the lion's paw. Mom had saved the day! Now mom needs to put apple juice on the shopping list.
Book Meme Challenge
I'm taking the Book Meme Challenge...
Rules:
1. Pick up the nearest book ( of at least 123 pages).
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the next three sentences.
5. Tag five people & post a comment here once you post it to your blog, so I can come see.
Here’s mine:
..."But the result was that it convinced him that her explanation for the shooting of Gary Ray Trotter was bogus. There was more to it than the luck of a dumb crook finally running out. If it had been strickly a matter of self-defense, she wouldn't be slipping a note to the detective overseeing the investigation, asking him to meet her alone."...
~Ricochet by Sandra Brown
Rules:
1. Pick up the nearest book ( of at least 123 pages).
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the next three sentences.
5. Tag five people & post a comment here once you post it to your blog, so I can come see.
Here’s mine:
..."But the result was that it convinced him that her explanation for the shooting of Gary Ray Trotter was bogus. There was more to it than the luck of a dumb crook finally running out. If it had been strickly a matter of self-defense, she wouldn't be slipping a note to the detective overseeing the investigation, asking him to meet her alone."...
~Ricochet by Sandra Brown
Friday, February 29, 2008
No Wonder They Cancel School So Much
I went out to our school's website to jot down the snow make up days (9 of them by the way) and this picture was on the webpage. This road runs along one of the elementary buildings on campus. The snow is just about as tall as the school bus. No wonder they keep cancelling school.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Moral Compass
How bad is it when a 3 year old is your moral compass? Forget being a preschool genius...he's a mini frickin' Dahli Lama.
Last night I was screaming at Brendon to clean his room, this after weeks of asking nicely, which quickly lead to an argument over what he felt he needed to pick up or was responsible for verses what I felt he needed to pick up and was responsible for. You've been there, right?! When their idea of clean is MUCH different than your idea of clean. And as I am screaming down the stairs and he is screaming up the stairs, all of a sudden I realize Jace is standing on the couch looking over the bannister saying something as well. I couldn't believe my ears, once the screaming stopped ringing in them, he was saying, "hey calm down!" and I realized he had been saying it more than once. I was shocked, I mean...who taught him that anyway? Then I had to laugh.
So much for setting a good example. I guess I need to review that writing, "everything I need to know about life, I learned in kindergarden". Once again, Jace is way ahead of the game.
Last night I was screaming at Brendon to clean his room, this after weeks of asking nicely, which quickly lead to an argument over what he felt he needed to pick up or was responsible for verses what I felt he needed to pick up and was responsible for. You've been there, right?! When their idea of clean is MUCH different than your idea of clean. And as I am screaming down the stairs and he is screaming up the stairs, all of a sudden I realize Jace is standing on the couch looking over the bannister saying something as well. I couldn't believe my ears, once the screaming stopped ringing in them, he was saying, "hey calm down!" and I realized he had been saying it more than once. I was shocked, I mean...who taught him that anyway? Then I had to laugh.
So much for setting a good example. I guess I need to review that writing, "everything I need to know about life, I learned in kindergarden". Once again, Jace is way ahead of the game.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Further proof that men are clueless...
See this cute pair of jeans Ken bought and sent Jace home in.
I'm sorry...I meant see this cute pair of GIRL jeans Ken bought and sent Jace home in. Do you see the little embroidered hearts on the back pocket? You can't really see it in the picture but the ankles actually flair out a little too - like they are boot cut.He swears he bought them in the boys department but he obviously didn't pay much attention to detail.
These will not be leaving the house again - atleast not on Jace's back side. Anyone know a little girl who wears a 2T?
Preschool Genius
Jace starts preschool Monday. I called to get him signed up for the fall but they had an opening to finish out the school year in the 2 year old room so we took it.
Little do they know what I little Einstein they are getting. A couple weeks ago at day care, they had some free coloring time where they could draw anything rather than color a preprinted page. Jace told me he was drawing a boat but he didn't say the boat was one of Christopher Columbus' fleet - see below. He keeps his brillance so understated. I wondered why on the way home that day he was chanting "in 1492 - Columbus sailed the ocean blue". HAHA - just kidding!
Little do they know what I little Einstein they are getting. A couple weeks ago at day care, they had some free coloring time where they could draw anything rather than color a preprinted page. Jace told me he was drawing a boat but he didn't say the boat was one of Christopher Columbus' fleet - see below. He keeps his brillance so understated. I wondered why on the way home that day he was chanting "in 1492 - Columbus sailed the ocean blue". HAHA - just kidding!
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Fraidy Cat!
While waiting to dose off to sleep the other night I was reminded of a childhood fear I had. It was highly irrationally but made total sense back then...who am I kidding, I still use the logic sometimes even now.
My fear was that I could NOT sleep without being covered up atleast from the waist down. It could be something as light as just the sheet but I HAD to be covered atleast that much. My theory was that a killer that broke into our house in the night would not stab me in the back as long as I was covered from the waist down. Would not stab me in the back if my waist down was covered. Makes NO sense right? Like I said, completely irrational, but it allowed me to then feel safe and sleep soundly in my bed. To this day, I still do not sleep without the covers being atleast at the waist. I may kick them off my legs from time to time but somehow the waist stays covered. It has too.
I have other irrational fears. I have a HUGE, consuming fear of birds. No, not caused by the Hitchcock classic movie - never seen it, never will! I don't know where this fear comes from. It used to be that they just grossed my out. I would think about their rounded bellies being all full of blood and guts and how if one were to be smashed into the pavement, that is all you would see is all the blood and guts. Sorry, should have given a "reader discretion is advised" warning.
Over the course of my fear of birds, it grew into the fear of being attacked by a bird. I once had a hanging flower basket on the railing of my porch only to discover that a bird had built a nest in it. I came home one day to find said bird sitting in my flower basket, in my mind, blocking my safe entry into my home. So, I got my umbrella out and shielded myself with it passed the bird and into the house. When the bird was away, I moved the flower basket off the railing and onto the patio so that the bird could still nuture it's eggs yet I could get in and out of my house without having to run and at dead sprint. I thought for sure the bird would sense by smell or something where her eggs were, just a few feet away on the patio, but she never found where I had moved the nest and the eggs didn't make it. I think they call that manslaughter when you kill someone accidentally - babybirdslaughter in this case. For days I would look out the window and see that mother bird perched on the railing longing for her babies. I was, at that point, a prisoner in my own home. I would not leave the house if that bird was out there for fear she would attack me. Later I would see a similar bird perched on my neighbor's house overlooking my yard. I was certain it was actually the same bird and had visions of that mother bird swooping down and carrying off one of my small children in retaliation.
Now all of that was just over your garden variety bird of no particularlly threatening size. Well, not to anyone who doesn't have a fear of birds that is. So, imagine how paralyzing my fear of large birds might be? I have read stories in our local paper of people in our town being attacked by wild turkeys. My greatest fear realized! An semi-elderly woman had to climb on type of her car to get away. There also have been cases just outside of our town on a major interstate were wild turkeys have flown into and crashed through windows of traveling vehicles. Crashed into - ending up IN the vehicle WITH the driver.
Let me just stop there for a second to note that as I write all of this...my chest is tightening and my heart beating harder. If something like that happened to me...I would totally have a heart attack and die right there on the spot. My heart would STOP! NO KIDDING!
Once I took my kids to a zoo whose bird exhibit was open - meaning you walked amongst them. You could not get through to the other parts of the zoo without going through the bird exhibit so unless we were going to turn around and go home without seeing the lions and tigers and bears (oh my) thus ruining my children's day, I had no choice. I tried to just look straight ahead and walk quickly. As we rounded a curve in the path, off to my left what before my wondering eyes should appear but the peacock family. Not the largest of the birds in the exhibit....no, that would be the emu I saw to my right. I was fa-reeaked out! I tried to stick to the plan of hurrying through and were almost passed the peacocks when one of them started screeching. I screamed, grabbed my son by the shirt and cowarded behind him, pushing him further along the path crouched below his shoulders. My son was I think 11 at the time who even now at 14 is only something like 4 ft 10 inches tall. And here is his mother putting him between her and this flesh riping, meat from the bone picking creature so that she didn't get attacked. Great motherly instincts huh?! It was that irrational fear that took over. All I could think about was that bird attacking me - I was soooo scared!
Almost as bad as my fear of birds is a fear of cats. That fear is again of being attacked - of being pounced on. 14 years ago, the night before a friend's wedding, all the bridesmaids (of which I was one) spent the night at her house so that we could all go to the church together. This friend had about 6 persian cats. Another girl and I were sleeping on the sectional in the living room as the panthers and mountain lions roamed around us. I would wake up and to find one of the staring at me. I couldn't shake that stare. I got up and went to the bathroom and when I opened the door like 4 of them were sitting in the hallway blocking my save return to the couch. I ran and jumped back on the couch and then woke up the other girl to protect me. I wouldn't let her get a wink of sleep the rest of the night. Whenever a sensed the beasts closing in, I would kick her awake, "Stacy, there are going to get me!". HA. She still gives me a hard time about that night. But the fear had practically paralyzed me. I just kept imagining them all on top of me scratching and biting and clawing my eyes out. Too many of them to fight off - helpless to do anything to save myself.
A few months ago, I went out to start my car and as I approached the passenger side (where I would lean in and turn the key then throw Jace's bag in the backseat), I saw something move inside my car. As I got closer and it came into view...it was a cat...IN MY CAR! I had no clue how it got in there or how long it had been in there. I had left the windows down earlier in the evening but had since left to pick my son and a neighbor kid up from practice. Had it been in the car then and stayed hidden? If it was trapped in there all night, had it peed and pooped in there? EWW! But given my fear of cats, I was afraid to simply open the door and let him out. If he felt cornered, he's probably pounce right?! So, I did what any normal person would do...I opened the door and ran screaming into my back yard and up onto the back porch. Immediately I thought that was stupid, now I am cornered if he didn't come out of the car, how was I going to get back around to the front of the house. I considered climbing the chainlink fence and coming around front but instead I crept down the stairs and peered into the carport. The car door was obviously still open - it's not like he was going to politely close it as he went about his way - but more importantly I had no idea where he had gone, if anywhere. I kicked the door shut and then walked around the vehicle looking in all the windows to see if he was still in there. Totally expecting it to jump up eye to eye with only the glass between us. As I rounded the drivers side, I saw that the back seat window was down about 4 or 5 inches. Then I realized the neighbor kid had left the window down on his side when he got out and I never realized it when we got home. So, that was how the cat got in but I still didn't know how long he had spent in there. Still didn't know if I would discover a nice pile of cat shit in a floorboard or the hatch. Once I decided it was gone, I walked back toward the house to wake up my little one and dress him for day care and too my horror realized the door had not shut all the way behind me when I had gone out originally to start the car. My heart sank thinking, "Oh my GOD - what if that cat ran into the house?!". I came in, turned on some lights and looked intently around a couple corners fearing I would come face to face with this savage animal. I decided I couldn't find it and thought if it's in here, the boys will discover it when they get up for school. Again, scarificing my children so that I didn't have to confront my fear.
Not long after that, I was making Halloween treats for work, my little boy was watching a Scooby Doo movie and all of sudden I heard a LOUD screeching - like a cornered animal. It sounded like a cat. I jumped up on a kitchen chair. How stupid! It wasn't a mouse, it was a cat - cats can jump so the heighth of that chair was not going to save me from anything. And there was my little boy in the living room alone where the animal could eat him. I called the older boys at their friends' up the street and told them they had to come home right now, that I thought there was a cat in the house and they needed to get it. After all, they are the men of the house now you know. In my panic and desperate cry for help, I didn't realize it was the kid whose house I had called that I was speaking too and not one of my sons. Yeah not embarrassing at all. Still they came anyway - all four of them came running. Searched the house and found nothing. I told them about the screech and we decided it must have been a hawk circling in the Scooby movie I heard but we replayed it a couple times and it never sounded the same as what I had heard. With them I'm sure thinking I was CRAAAZZY - we all went about what we were doing. Later when the boys were back home, Dallas was watching me make the treats, we were just talking and all of a sudden there was the screeching animal again. Brendon was in the basement and didn't hear it but Dallas did. I was NOT crazy afterall. I jumped up on the chair again. Dallas was cautiously looking around and Jace was jumping on the couch nearby when we heard it again. It was like it was coming from under the couch cushion. How could a cat have gotten trapped under the couch cushion? How could that even be possible? Irrational right?! I made him and Brendon remove the cushions and even though they were scared too that something would pounce out, I remained on top that kitchen chair a safe distance away. There was nothing there. Turns out my son had left AIM open and someone had changed their chime or whatever you call it to a screeching cat in honor of Halloween. So, everytime this person got on AIM, instead of hearing a door open, you would hear a screech. A sound effect of a cat had rendered me scared for my life shaking and shivering on top a chair.
I also have a fear of something happening to my children - especially the kidnapping or death of. I know that sounds so marose but in today's society bad things do happen to the most innocent of children and I just know I could not go on living if anything happened to any of my kids. It wouldn't be a heart attack this time that killed me. It would be heart ache! My heart would ache do badly that I would die from the pain. I know I am not the only parent to have those fears. Last fall we "lost" Jace at a local store. The store had to do the lock down (Code Adam I believe it's called) and we called 911. He could not be found anywhere! What had me scared the most as it was happening was that he was not responding at all. I just kept thinking if he had wandered off or was playing a game...he would respond...answer to his name...laugh, snicker or giggle, something - yet there was nothing. That, in and of itself, had me convinced someone had him. Someone had grabbed him, covered his mouth and had already gotten away with him. I even went out to the parking lot somehow thinking I was going to see a car speeding away and I could get it's description or license plate. Why did I think that? That happens in the movies! Why would I have wanted to see that? I would have collaspsed in anguish if I had but it atleast would be something to go on. I remember thinking I was never going to see him again. We finally found Jace hiding under the same rack we were standing at when we first noticed him missing. He kneeled there, keeping quietier than you ever thought a 2 year old could be, playing what was to him "Hide N Seek". I was never more relived in my life. I had a 911 operator on the phone when I found him and hung up on her so that I could reach for and pick up my child. I just held him. Hugged him tight and all he wanted to do was hide again. I was shaken for days! You know though, every single person I told the story too had had it happen to them with a child or grandchild.
I used to have a fear of being hit and killed by a drunk driver. I was certain that was how I was going to die. And it wasn't so much the main roads I was afraid of. It was the side roads, the neighborhood streets where someone who was impaired could run a stop sign and smash into me. I don't know why...maybe it's cause I don't get out much anymore - ha...but that fear has subsided a bit. It's more of an occassional nagging now.
So, what are your fears? I'd be really comforted to know I am not the only freak in the world.
My fear was that I could NOT sleep without being covered up atleast from the waist down. It could be something as light as just the sheet but I HAD to be covered atleast that much. My theory was that a killer that broke into our house in the night would not stab me in the back as long as I was covered from the waist down. Would not stab me in the back if my waist down was covered. Makes NO sense right? Like I said, completely irrational, but it allowed me to then feel safe and sleep soundly in my bed. To this day, I still do not sleep without the covers being atleast at the waist. I may kick them off my legs from time to time but somehow the waist stays covered. It has too.
I have other irrational fears. I have a HUGE, consuming fear of birds. No, not caused by the Hitchcock classic movie - never seen it, never will! I don't know where this fear comes from. It used to be that they just grossed my out. I would think about their rounded bellies being all full of blood and guts and how if one were to be smashed into the pavement, that is all you would see is all the blood and guts. Sorry, should have given a "reader discretion is advised" warning.
Over the course of my fear of birds, it grew into the fear of being attacked by a bird. I once had a hanging flower basket on the railing of my porch only to discover that a bird had built a nest in it. I came home one day to find said bird sitting in my flower basket, in my mind, blocking my safe entry into my home. So, I got my umbrella out and shielded myself with it passed the bird and into the house. When the bird was away, I moved the flower basket off the railing and onto the patio so that the bird could still nuture it's eggs yet I could get in and out of my house without having to run and at dead sprint. I thought for sure the bird would sense by smell or something where her eggs were, just a few feet away on the patio, but she never found where I had moved the nest and the eggs didn't make it. I think they call that manslaughter when you kill someone accidentally - babybirdslaughter in this case. For days I would look out the window and see that mother bird perched on the railing longing for her babies. I was, at that point, a prisoner in my own home. I would not leave the house if that bird was out there for fear she would attack me. Later I would see a similar bird perched on my neighbor's house overlooking my yard. I was certain it was actually the same bird and had visions of that mother bird swooping down and carrying off one of my small children in retaliation.
Now all of that was just over your garden variety bird of no particularlly threatening size. Well, not to anyone who doesn't have a fear of birds that is. So, imagine how paralyzing my fear of large birds might be? I have read stories in our local paper of people in our town being attacked by wild turkeys. My greatest fear realized! An semi-elderly woman had to climb on type of her car to get away. There also have been cases just outside of our town on a major interstate were wild turkeys have flown into and crashed through windows of traveling vehicles. Crashed into - ending up IN the vehicle WITH the driver.
Let me just stop there for a second to note that as I write all of this...my chest is tightening and my heart beating harder. If something like that happened to me...I would totally have a heart attack and die right there on the spot. My heart would STOP! NO KIDDING!
Once I took my kids to a zoo whose bird exhibit was open - meaning you walked amongst them. You could not get through to the other parts of the zoo without going through the bird exhibit so unless we were going to turn around and go home without seeing the lions and tigers and bears (oh my) thus ruining my children's day, I had no choice. I tried to just look straight ahead and walk quickly. As we rounded a curve in the path, off to my left what before my wondering eyes should appear but the peacock family. Not the largest of the birds in the exhibit....no, that would be the emu I saw to my right. I was fa-reeaked out! I tried to stick to the plan of hurrying through and were almost passed the peacocks when one of them started screeching. I screamed, grabbed my son by the shirt and cowarded behind him, pushing him further along the path crouched below his shoulders. My son was I think 11 at the time who even now at 14 is only something like 4 ft 10 inches tall. And here is his mother putting him between her and this flesh riping, meat from the bone picking creature so that she didn't get attacked. Great motherly instincts huh?! It was that irrational fear that took over. All I could think about was that bird attacking me - I was soooo scared!
Almost as bad as my fear of birds is a fear of cats. That fear is again of being attacked - of being pounced on. 14 years ago, the night before a friend's wedding, all the bridesmaids (of which I was one) spent the night at her house so that we could all go to the church together. This friend had about 6 persian cats. Another girl and I were sleeping on the sectional in the living room as the panthers and mountain lions roamed around us. I would wake up and to find one of the staring at me. I couldn't shake that stare. I got up and went to the bathroom and when I opened the door like 4 of them were sitting in the hallway blocking my save return to the couch. I ran and jumped back on the couch and then woke up the other girl to protect me. I wouldn't let her get a wink of sleep the rest of the night. Whenever a sensed the beasts closing in, I would kick her awake, "Stacy, there are going to get me!". HA. She still gives me a hard time about that night. But the fear had practically paralyzed me. I just kept imagining them all on top of me scratching and biting and clawing my eyes out. Too many of them to fight off - helpless to do anything to save myself.
A few months ago, I went out to start my car and as I approached the passenger side (where I would lean in and turn the key then throw Jace's bag in the backseat), I saw something move inside my car. As I got closer and it came into view...it was a cat...IN MY CAR! I had no clue how it got in there or how long it had been in there. I had left the windows down earlier in the evening but had since left to pick my son and a neighbor kid up from practice. Had it been in the car then and stayed hidden? If it was trapped in there all night, had it peed and pooped in there? EWW! But given my fear of cats, I was afraid to simply open the door and let him out. If he felt cornered, he's probably pounce right?! So, I did what any normal person would do...I opened the door and ran screaming into my back yard and up onto the back porch. Immediately I thought that was stupid, now I am cornered if he didn't come out of the car, how was I going to get back around to the front of the house. I considered climbing the chainlink fence and coming around front but instead I crept down the stairs and peered into the carport. The car door was obviously still open - it's not like he was going to politely close it as he went about his way - but more importantly I had no idea where he had gone, if anywhere. I kicked the door shut and then walked around the vehicle looking in all the windows to see if he was still in there. Totally expecting it to jump up eye to eye with only the glass between us. As I rounded the drivers side, I saw that the back seat window was down about 4 or 5 inches. Then I realized the neighbor kid had left the window down on his side when he got out and I never realized it when we got home. So, that was how the cat got in but I still didn't know how long he had spent in there. Still didn't know if I would discover a nice pile of cat shit in a floorboard or the hatch. Once I decided it was gone, I walked back toward the house to wake up my little one and dress him for day care and too my horror realized the door had not shut all the way behind me when I had gone out originally to start the car. My heart sank thinking, "Oh my GOD - what if that cat ran into the house?!". I came in, turned on some lights and looked intently around a couple corners fearing I would come face to face with this savage animal. I decided I couldn't find it and thought if it's in here, the boys will discover it when they get up for school. Again, scarificing my children so that I didn't have to confront my fear.
Not long after that, I was making Halloween treats for work, my little boy was watching a Scooby Doo movie and all of sudden I heard a LOUD screeching - like a cornered animal. It sounded like a cat. I jumped up on a kitchen chair. How stupid! It wasn't a mouse, it was a cat - cats can jump so the heighth of that chair was not going to save me from anything. And there was my little boy in the living room alone where the animal could eat him. I called the older boys at their friends' up the street and told them they had to come home right now, that I thought there was a cat in the house and they needed to get it. After all, they are the men of the house now you know. In my panic and desperate cry for help, I didn't realize it was the kid whose house I had called that I was speaking too and not one of my sons. Yeah not embarrassing at all. Still they came anyway - all four of them came running. Searched the house and found nothing. I told them about the screech and we decided it must have been a hawk circling in the Scooby movie I heard but we replayed it a couple times and it never sounded the same as what I had heard. With them I'm sure thinking I was CRAAAZZY - we all went about what we were doing. Later when the boys were back home, Dallas was watching me make the treats, we were just talking and all of a sudden there was the screeching animal again. Brendon was in the basement and didn't hear it but Dallas did. I was NOT crazy afterall. I jumped up on the chair again. Dallas was cautiously looking around and Jace was jumping on the couch nearby when we heard it again. It was like it was coming from under the couch cushion. How could a cat have gotten trapped under the couch cushion? How could that even be possible? Irrational right?! I made him and Brendon remove the cushions and even though they were scared too that something would pounce out, I remained on top that kitchen chair a safe distance away. There was nothing there. Turns out my son had left AIM open and someone had changed their chime or whatever you call it to a screeching cat in honor of Halloween. So, everytime this person got on AIM, instead of hearing a door open, you would hear a screech. A sound effect of a cat had rendered me scared for my life shaking and shivering on top a chair.
I also have a fear of something happening to my children - especially the kidnapping or death of. I know that sounds so marose but in today's society bad things do happen to the most innocent of children and I just know I could not go on living if anything happened to any of my kids. It wouldn't be a heart attack this time that killed me. It would be heart ache! My heart would ache do badly that I would die from the pain. I know I am not the only parent to have those fears. Last fall we "lost" Jace at a local store. The store had to do the lock down (Code Adam I believe it's called) and we called 911. He could not be found anywhere! What had me scared the most as it was happening was that he was not responding at all. I just kept thinking if he had wandered off or was playing a game...he would respond...answer to his name...laugh, snicker or giggle, something - yet there was nothing. That, in and of itself, had me convinced someone had him. Someone had grabbed him, covered his mouth and had already gotten away with him. I even went out to the parking lot somehow thinking I was going to see a car speeding away and I could get it's description or license plate. Why did I think that? That happens in the movies! Why would I have wanted to see that? I would have collaspsed in anguish if I had but it atleast would be something to go on. I remember thinking I was never going to see him again. We finally found Jace hiding under the same rack we were standing at when we first noticed him missing. He kneeled there, keeping quietier than you ever thought a 2 year old could be, playing what was to him "Hide N Seek". I was never more relived in my life. I had a 911 operator on the phone when I found him and hung up on her so that I could reach for and pick up my child. I just held him. Hugged him tight and all he wanted to do was hide again. I was shaken for days! You know though, every single person I told the story too had had it happen to them with a child or grandchild.
I used to have a fear of being hit and killed by a drunk driver. I was certain that was how I was going to die. And it wasn't so much the main roads I was afraid of. It was the side roads, the neighborhood streets where someone who was impaired could run a stop sign and smash into me. I don't know why...maybe it's cause I don't get out much anymore - ha...but that fear has subsided a bit. It's more of an occassional nagging now.
So, what are your fears? I'd be really comforted to know I am not the only freak in the world.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
"Nice one Mom!"
I was driving the boys home from the mall tonight and I belched one of those loud, rummble in the back of your throat, richochet off your teeth burps. Immediately Jace goes, "nice one Mom!" . He is such a giving soul. He is going to be a huge source of encouragement to all the other wee wittle wons when he starts pre-school next week.
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Winter Wonderland???
Shoveling is a bitch! It took me an hour to shovel my one car driveway and clear away some of what I know will end up at the end of my driveway once the snow plow comes through. Al Gore can take his message of Global Warming and shove it where the sun don't shine. If the polar bears are drowning at the artic ice caps, then haul their butts to the midwest where we are enjoying 60 inches of snow this winter to date.
Here is the real amazing thing though while shoveling today...even with the sound of the the winds whirling, my heart pounding and my back breaking...I could still hear my kids screaming at each other from inside the house. I think I should build an igloo and hybernate the rest of the winter. Wake me up in six weeks and thank that damn groundhog for that one.
Here is the real amazing thing though while shoveling today...even with the sound of the the winds whirling, my heart pounding and my back breaking...I could still hear my kids screaming at each other from inside the house. I think I should build an igloo and hybernate the rest of the winter. Wake me up in six weeks and thank that damn groundhog for that one.
Friday, February 15, 2008
I'm the worst...
Brendon was violently ill this morning following his lethal combination of ice cream, nachos and popcorn at a basketball game last night. I totally forgot to call the school that he would be absent until 2.5 hours into the school day. This is a frequent behavior of mine. I always seem to forget to call. But in my defense, I don't call right away because there is no one there to answer anyway. By time there is, it's like "out of sight - out of mind" big time. So, as I finally made the call - referring outloud to myself as a bonehead - my boss goes, "I'll say it for you...you're worst mother in the world" . I said, "No. I'm just the worst phone call maker in the world!" . HAHA.
But making that late phone call is MUCH better than a couple times I've had to call the school and ask if my boys are even there. Yeah...mother of the year, right?! I've had to do that twice when I've forgotten to call home and wake them up for school. I'd call home when I finally realized and get no answer. No answer didn't really tell me much. Did they get up on their own and were gone? OR, were they still sleeping soundly in their beds with visions of sugar plums dancing in their heads? So, the only alternative (other than driving home and actually checking) was to call the school. THAT is an embarassing call to make. I mean, shouldn't a parent know if their children are in school?!
Suddenly I am reminded that just this year I also called the school and said, "I just found out my kids missed the bus so I am going to get them but they'll be tardy". I based that call on the fact that I had called home, with no answer, for 45 minutes. I drove home to get them and they weren't there. They had gotten up on their own...still don't know why they didn't answer the phone. Buttheads!
Ok - maybe I am the worst mother in the world! No, no, no - it's the kids that make you look and sound crazy!
But making that late phone call is MUCH better than a couple times I've had to call the school and ask if my boys are even there. Yeah...mother of the year, right?! I've had to do that twice when I've forgotten to call home and wake them up for school. I'd call home when I finally realized and get no answer. No answer didn't really tell me much. Did they get up on their own and were gone? OR, were they still sleeping soundly in their beds with visions of sugar plums dancing in their heads? So, the only alternative (other than driving home and actually checking) was to call the school. THAT is an embarassing call to make. I mean, shouldn't a parent know if their children are in school?!
Suddenly I am reminded that just this year I also called the school and said, "I just found out my kids missed the bus so I am going to get them but they'll be tardy". I based that call on the fact that I had called home, with no answer, for 45 minutes. I drove home to get them and they weren't there. They had gotten up on their own...still don't know why they didn't answer the phone. Buttheads!
Ok - maybe I am the worst mother in the world! No, no, no - it's the kids that make you look and sound crazy!
Thursday, February 14, 2008
"...you're my Balentine"
So, I don't have much going on in the romantic arena to write about on Valentine's Day but I do have this...
...a couple weeks ago, we were eating dinner (actually at the kitchen table, all of us) and completely out of the blue Jace goes, "mommy, you're my Balentine" . The rest of us looked at each other and then laughed. Brendon goes, "ok, that was random" . HA. They had been talking about and coloring a lot of Valentine's pictures at day care.
How sweet is that though?! I guess that makes up for when he tells me to stop singing in the car..."that's too loud mommy!".
...a couple weeks ago, we were eating dinner (actually at the kitchen table, all of us) and completely out of the blue Jace goes, "mommy, you're my Balentine" . The rest of us looked at each other and then laughed. Brendon goes, "ok, that was random" . HA. They had been talking about and coloring a lot of Valentine's pictures at day care.
How sweet is that though?! I guess that makes up for when he tells me to stop singing in the car..."that's too loud mommy!".
Monday, February 11, 2008
You've Come A Long Way Baby...
Besides that being an old campaign slogan for Virginia Slims cigarettes (my mother's unfortunate preferred brand for more than 30 years)...it also applied to me over the weekend. Although given the circumstances surrounding it, some people could say I am completely fucked in the head but it was none the less a personal victory for me.
I had spent some time talking to a good friend Friday night about how messed up and distraught I was for a long time following the break up with the father of my older children. How heartbreak and heartache are VERY real. How they are not just emotions felt in the heart and head but that there is often real physical pain when you loose someone you love. How I was in a real bad place and made a lot of real bad choices for a good 2 years. But how that the good news was that I had survived and like to think that I am strong enough now to admit that I made a lot of mistakes. To not give them merrit or justify them any longer, beyond the pure fact that I was messed up. And how I know I will never make those misakes again.
Before I go any further...it really was a surreal night because earlier, before this discussion, we had seen the girl he left me for at a local restaurant celebrating what we calculated to be her 30th birthday. She was 17 years old when he left me (and our kids) for her - turned 18 a month later. Why do I know that? It goes to how fucked up I was. I made it a point to find out everything I could and to insinuate myself into every aspect of their lives all in the name of "well, we have children together"...all because I was hurting so tremendously. I felt like I had been plucked out and she had simply stepped into my life. I was lost, felt alone and it HURT! A lot!
Anyway, onto the end of this last Friday evening, we started to head home when my friend checked in with her husband (who happens to be lifelong friends with my ex) and there was a cryptic message that I was supposed to call said ex at his favorite hang out. Apparently him and his latest girlfriend, who he happens to live with, had gotten into a (drunken) arguement and he was stranded with no place to go. Being the nice person I am (sucker), and the fact that I always seem to help him when he needs it (sucker), I said I could pick him up and he could crash in the basement with the boys. Our boys are teenagers now and we'd just explain to them what happened so that they weren't confused why he was coming home with me.
After getting to my place, we sat and laughed with the kids a little and then decided we all needed to get to sleep. As predicted, given the condition he was in, he kept coming up with excuses for needing to come into my room and talk to me.
I would be like, "you can stay here if you need to, there is plenty of room in the basement, we'll work something out, blah, blah, blah, go get some sleep".
And finally he came right out and asked, "so, there is no chance you want me to sleep with you?"
To which I frankly replied, "NO".
He was like, "you are the one person I can count on, blah, blah, blah, can you really look me in the eye and say you don't want me to sleep here?"
I said, "what I can tell you is that a part of me will always love you but I'm not the same girl I was 10 years ago and I will not be a substitute for _____________ for the night just because you found out some shit tonight that you didn't like!"
THAT people, was my personal victory! Victory back from the brink of despair, victory over the hold he used to have over me, victory to the woman I have become. I want a man in my life again someday but I swore a long time ago I would never let a man have that much control over me ever again.
I've made the cold, harsh realization that my soon to be ex-husband was not the "love of my life" and that contributed to the downfall of our marriage. So then I had to ask myself, if not him, then does that mean this other person was. And you know, I used to think yeah he probably was...until this weekend. After he scurried away with his tail between his legs, I found myself seriously doubting I could ever be in a place of wanting him in my bed again. Too much has happened, too many hurts, too many indiscretions, too many lies, too many times he shows me no respect whatsoever, too many times he made me feel stupid, too many times he made me feel unimportant, too many times he wasn't there for our sons. It's just too much!
So, you see, I have come a long way baby, because I now realize the victory was greater than I had even imagined. I've been able to say the words for a long time that I am over him but this weekend, I FELT it.
And I know in my heart, the "love of my life" (other than my boys) is still out there. I can see him in my mind, everything but his face. I even feel him sometimes in the sense that I believe in it so sometimes I can "feel" the moment happening when I find him or he finds me. The feeling is comfortable, the feeling is secure, the feeling is butterflies, the feeling is laughter, the feeling is...well, love.
Man, and it's not even Valentine's Day yet!
I had spent some time talking to a good friend Friday night about how messed up and distraught I was for a long time following the break up with the father of my older children. How heartbreak and heartache are VERY real. How they are not just emotions felt in the heart and head but that there is often real physical pain when you loose someone you love. How I was in a real bad place and made a lot of real bad choices for a good 2 years. But how that the good news was that I had survived and like to think that I am strong enough now to admit that I made a lot of mistakes. To not give them merrit or justify them any longer, beyond the pure fact that I was messed up. And how I know I will never make those misakes again.
Before I go any further...it really was a surreal night because earlier, before this discussion, we had seen the girl he left me for at a local restaurant celebrating what we calculated to be her 30th birthday. She was 17 years old when he left me (and our kids) for her - turned 18 a month later. Why do I know that? It goes to how fucked up I was. I made it a point to find out everything I could and to insinuate myself into every aspect of their lives all in the name of "well, we have children together"...all because I was hurting so tremendously. I felt like I had been plucked out and she had simply stepped into my life. I was lost, felt alone and it HURT! A lot!
Anyway, onto the end of this last Friday evening, we started to head home when my friend checked in with her husband (who happens to be lifelong friends with my ex) and there was a cryptic message that I was supposed to call said ex at his favorite hang out. Apparently him and his latest girlfriend, who he happens to live with, had gotten into a (drunken) arguement and he was stranded with no place to go. Being the nice person I am (sucker), and the fact that I always seem to help him when he needs it (sucker), I said I could pick him up and he could crash in the basement with the boys. Our boys are teenagers now and we'd just explain to them what happened so that they weren't confused why he was coming home with me.
After getting to my place, we sat and laughed with the kids a little and then decided we all needed to get to sleep. As predicted, given the condition he was in, he kept coming up with excuses for needing to come into my room and talk to me.
I would be like, "you can stay here if you need to, there is plenty of room in the basement, we'll work something out, blah, blah, blah, go get some sleep".
And finally he came right out and asked, "so, there is no chance you want me to sleep with you?"
To which I frankly replied, "NO".
He was like, "you are the one person I can count on, blah, blah, blah, can you really look me in the eye and say you don't want me to sleep here?"
I said, "what I can tell you is that a part of me will always love you but I'm not the same girl I was 10 years ago and I will not be a substitute for _____________ for the night just because you found out some shit tonight that you didn't like!"
THAT people, was my personal victory! Victory back from the brink of despair, victory over the hold he used to have over me, victory to the woman I have become. I want a man in my life again someday but I swore a long time ago I would never let a man have that much control over me ever again.
I've made the cold, harsh realization that my soon to be ex-husband was not the "love of my life" and that contributed to the downfall of our marriage. So then I had to ask myself, if not him, then does that mean this other person was. And you know, I used to think yeah he probably was...until this weekend. After he scurried away with his tail between his legs, I found myself seriously doubting I could ever be in a place of wanting him in my bed again. Too much has happened, too many hurts, too many indiscretions, too many lies, too many times he shows me no respect whatsoever, too many times he made me feel stupid, too many times he made me feel unimportant, too many times he wasn't there for our sons. It's just too much!
So, you see, I have come a long way baby, because I now realize the victory was greater than I had even imagined. I've been able to say the words for a long time that I am over him but this weekend, I FELT it.
And I know in my heart, the "love of my life" (other than my boys) is still out there. I can see him in my mind, everything but his face. I even feel him sometimes in the sense that I believe in it so sometimes I can "feel" the moment happening when I find him or he finds me. The feeling is comfortable, the feeling is secure, the feeling is butterflies, the feeling is laughter, the feeling is...well, love.
Man, and it's not even Valentine's Day yet!
Thursday, February 07, 2008
Goofy Goober
Check out Jace dancing to "Goofy Goober" from the SpongeBob movie. He always jams out when this part comes on so Brendon captured it on our digital camera. Only had room for 30 seconds but it's still funny!
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
Lord give me the strength...
...to open my deodorant!
I don't think I should skip anymore work-outs, today I didn't even have the strength to take the lid off my deodorant containter! Of course that was after working out today so I can totally blame that on those damn stretchy bands! I may have to down grade to the yellow easy ones!
And...my knees 'bout gave out when lowering myself to the toilet too after the workout. I was thinking, "man, that would be embarassing to have to have help getting off the stall floor."
That's IT - working out is officially hazardous to my health!
I don't think I should skip anymore work-outs, today I didn't even have the strength to take the lid off my deodorant containter! Of course that was after working out today so I can totally blame that on those damn stretchy bands! I may have to down grade to the yellow easy ones!
And...my knees 'bout gave out when lowering myself to the toilet too after the workout. I was thinking, "man, that would be embarassing to have to have help getting off the stall floor."
That's IT - working out is officially hazardous to my health!
Saturday, February 02, 2008
SHUT THE DOOR!!!
I screamed this to my 3 year old at least 5 times today while trying to take a shower. You know what a luxury it would be to have any of my bathroom time be private? I have a house full of boys no less and still they find the need to talk to me while I'm on the pot. As Stephanie Tanner would say, "HOW RUDE?!".
If I want to take a shower when Jace is around, I can't shut the door to where it latches so that if he DOES need something, he can come in. Of course this is enabling his seperation anxiety but I don't want to traumatize the poor kid that mommy has somehow disappeared. But leaving the door slightly ajar in case of emergency leads to Jace running in at full blast, flinging the door open, calling out "mommy" and then leaving again with the door still wide open. He does this several times through the course of even the quickest shower. Not usually a big deal 'cept when you have glass shower doors and the two teenagers are also around. Talk about trauma! Probably not condusive to the young psyche for a boy to see their mother in the shower! Oww - my eyes, my eyes!
The last time he did it, I yelled once again for him to SHUT THE DOOR when I hear my ex's voice just around the corner say, "hello". He had stopped by to borrow something but ... UMM HEL--LO, we aren't together anymore, you aren't allowed to peak at me in the shower!
What do I have to do, reserve my showers for every other weekend when all the boys are away and I have the house to myself?! I'm sure I won't stink too much by then!
If I want to take a shower when Jace is around, I can't shut the door to where it latches so that if he DOES need something, he can come in. Of course this is enabling his seperation anxiety but I don't want to traumatize the poor kid that mommy has somehow disappeared. But leaving the door slightly ajar in case of emergency leads to Jace running in at full blast, flinging the door open, calling out "mommy" and then leaving again with the door still wide open. He does this several times through the course of even the quickest shower. Not usually a big deal 'cept when you have glass shower doors and the two teenagers are also around. Talk about trauma! Probably not condusive to the young psyche for a boy to see their mother in the shower! Oww - my eyes, my eyes!
The last time he did it, I yelled once again for him to SHUT THE DOOR when I hear my ex's voice just around the corner say, "hello". He had stopped by to borrow something but ... UMM HEL--LO, we aren't together anymore, you aren't allowed to peak at me in the shower!
What do I have to do, reserve my showers for every other weekend when all the boys are away and I have the house to myself?! I'm sure I won't stink too much by then!
Friday, February 01, 2008
Ok - so I am NOT perfect...
Ok, so I never claimed NOT to be an anal, obsessive compulsive, narcissistic control freak. For me, choosing to blog is all about me...what I want to say...and that I want people to find me both thought provoking and funny (narcissistic). And when I blog, sometimes I have to edit and repost the same post several times before all the typos are gone (anal). I even re-read my own blog posts over and over (obsessive compulsive) totally validating myself with each read (again, narcissistic). But really, if I don't, then who will?!
I posted earlier today a mildly amuzing tale of skipping a lunch time workout for ordering Chinese and how I am totally fine with that! In that post, I made an obsure reference to Hitler and in the process came across something about Hitler on the internet that I found very amuzing. I thought about including that tidbit in ( ) in that same post but didn't want to run on or get off track (anal). I then thought I would immeditately do a new post highlighting my new found fact but I didn't want to overshadow my previous post (narcissistic).
So, instead I decided to share this funny fact with a coworker and maybe tomorrow I would blog about it. So I sent this e-mail...
From: Lori
Sent: Friday, February 01, 2008 10:33 AM
To:
Subject: Hitler
So I was posting on my blog today and made an obscure reference to Hitler – “High Hitler” to be exact. I wanted to make sure I was spelling it right. You know, was it “High Hitler” or “Hi Hitler” (like greeting him hello) or “Hile Hitler” (which just sounds more German to me) and came across this interesting and I’m guessing little known fact about Hitler…
… “himself was an appalling hypochondriac who abused laxatives and suffered for much of his life from stomach cramps and embarrassing flatulence” …
I found that to be extremely odd and of course funny so I had to share!
(I think I should make this my next blog post..haha)
She responded...
From:
Sent: Friday, February 01, 2008 10:38 AM
To: Lori
Subject: RE: Hitler
That is too funny!!! I think it is Heil Hilter or something like that.
Crap! Foiled Again! I had apparently misspelled "Heil Hitler". WHO CARES, right? An anal, obsessive compulsive, narcissistic, control freak - that's who!!
So, then I responded...
From: Lori
Sent: Friday, February 01, 2008 10:45 AM
To:
Subject: RE: Hitler
Ok so I went with High Hitler because it actually came up in my internet search. The internet is never wrong! Rats!
I searched your version and sure enough it came up too. Now I am going to HAVE to post about it so I don’t look like an idiot!
Of course that is a relative term anyway…perhaps only an idiot would care if they misspelled something on a blog that gets fewer readers than the instructions on shampoo bottles telling you to endlessly LATHER, RINSE and REPEAT.
Phew, I'm exhausted. It hurts my brain too much when a over ANALyze things! I think I need to find a support group. But it would probably go something like this...
"HEL--LO people, it's my turn to talk here. It doesn't really matter what your names are, but mine is Lori and I am an anal, obsessive compulsive, narcissistic, control freak. Now, how can the rest of you freaks help me? ME...don't forget to mention ME in your repsonse. Oh, and directly after today's meeting, you all are invited over to either one of my blogs where you can learn more about ME. Comments longed for, just remember to praise ME! Thank you for listening to ME. Sorry, time is up."
I hope I am not THAT bad!
I posted earlier today a mildly amuzing tale of skipping a lunch time workout for ordering Chinese and how I am totally fine with that! In that post, I made an obsure reference to Hitler and in the process came across something about Hitler on the internet that I found very amuzing. I thought about including that tidbit in ( ) in that same post but didn't want to run on or get off track (anal). I then thought I would immeditately do a new post highlighting my new found fact but I didn't want to overshadow my previous post (narcissistic).
So, instead I decided to share this funny fact with a coworker and maybe tomorrow I would blog about it. So I sent this e-mail...
From: Lori
Sent: Friday, February 01, 2008 10:33 AM
To:
Subject: Hitler
So I was posting on my blog today and made an obscure reference to Hitler – “High Hitler” to be exact. I wanted to make sure I was spelling it right. You know, was it “High Hitler” or “Hi Hitler” (like greeting him hello) or “Hile Hitler” (which just sounds more German to me) and came across this interesting and I’m guessing little known fact about Hitler…
… “himself was an appalling hypochondriac who abused laxatives and suffered for much of his life from stomach cramps and embarrassing flatulence” …
I found that to be extremely odd and of course funny so I had to share!
(I think I should make this my next blog post..haha)
She responded...
From:
Sent: Friday, February 01, 2008 10:38 AM
To: Lori
Subject: RE: Hitler
That is too funny!!! I think it is Heil Hilter or something like that.
Crap! Foiled Again! I had apparently misspelled "Heil Hitler". WHO CARES, right? An anal, obsessive compulsive, narcissistic, control freak - that's who!!
So, then I responded...
From: Lori
Sent: Friday, February 01, 2008 10:45 AM
To:
Subject: RE: Hitler
Ok so I went with High Hitler because it actually came up in my internet search. The internet is never wrong! Rats!
I searched your version and sure enough it came up too. Now I am going to HAVE to post about it so I don’t look like an idiot!
Of course that is a relative term anyway…perhaps only an idiot would care if they misspelled something on a blog that gets fewer readers than the instructions on shampoo bottles telling you to endlessly LATHER, RINSE and REPEAT.
Phew, I'm exhausted. It hurts my brain too much when a over ANALyze things! I think I need to find a support group. But it would probably go something like this...
"HEL--LO people, it's my turn to talk here. It doesn't really matter what your names are, but mine is Lori and I am an anal, obsessive compulsive, narcissistic, control freak. Now, how can the rest of you freaks help me? ME...don't forget to mention ME in your repsonse. Oh, and directly after today's meeting, you all are invited over to either one of my blogs where you can learn more about ME. Comments longed for, just remember to praise ME! Thank you for listening to ME. Sorry, time is up."
I hope I am not THAT bad!
4 out of 5...
4 out of 5 ain't bad, right? I mean it is the standard for recommendations from doctors and dentists after all. So, I figure that if I only worked out 4 out of 5 days this week, I am still doing good!
A group of us do aerobics at lunch. We usually use one of two meeting rooms, just push back the tables (a mini workout right there), bring in a IT tech/geek squad video cart to project the dvd or tape on the wall (or screen if available) and talk a brisk 2-mile walk (in-place) with Leslie Sandstone. We have branched out occassionally to a George Foreman workout and a cardio one with "Galad" as the instructor. I have decided that Galad is German (although his accent is more Austrian like Arnold Swartzenager) because he has us doing High Hilter arm movements and rigorous marching.
So today started off with the two rooms we use being booked at 11:00 am to ?? so a workout time was up in the air, one girl was leaving early, and then another girl chimed in that she couldn't work out today. My take on the situation was this...
..."I wouldn’t be heartbroken if we didn’t exercise today. As you can see, I have not reached the uber gung ho fitness craze stage yet. If we find a room at a decent time then I’m in. Otherwise, again, won’t be heartbroken!...
Can you see that my willpower is still a work in progress? I say that buying a package of 6 choc chip cookies out of vendoland yesterday and only eating 3 of them is enough work on my willpower for the week.
Soon another couldn't workout today because they have to run home at lunch. And speaking of lunch...we decided to blow the entire day and order Chinese! Chicken Fried Rice, come home to momma!
So, 4 out of 5 of us vetoed any strenous activity today - other than the act of lifting fork to mouth! I likey!
A group of us do aerobics at lunch. We usually use one of two meeting rooms, just push back the tables (a mini workout right there), bring in a IT tech/geek squad video cart to project the dvd or tape on the wall (or screen if available) and talk a brisk 2-mile walk (in-place) with Leslie Sandstone. We have branched out occassionally to a George Foreman workout and a cardio one with "Galad" as the instructor. I have decided that Galad is German (although his accent is more Austrian like Arnold Swartzenager) because he has us doing High Hilter arm movements and rigorous marching.
So today started off with the two rooms we use being booked at 11:00 am to ?? so a workout time was up in the air, one girl was leaving early, and then another girl chimed in that she couldn't work out today. My take on the situation was this...
..."I wouldn’t be heartbroken if we didn’t exercise today. As you can see, I have not reached the uber gung ho fitness craze stage yet. If we find a room at a decent time then I’m in. Otherwise, again, won’t be heartbroken!...
Can you see that my willpower is still a work in progress? I say that buying a package of 6 choc chip cookies out of vendoland yesterday and only eating 3 of them is enough work on my willpower for the week.
Soon another couldn't workout today because they have to run home at lunch. And speaking of lunch...we decided to blow the entire day and order Chinese! Chicken Fried Rice, come home to momma!
So, 4 out of 5 of us vetoed any strenous activity today - other than the act of lifting fork to mouth! I likey!
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