I finally had had enough of the excuses and I posted the following:
Why should the guys get to "get this out of their system"...
I've been posting off and on throughout the day about my problems with my dh and his going out. I'm not the only one. I've seen several posts since I started on here about the same thing.
Is it a guy thing? YES! How many of us pregnant women are out having the last rounds of drinks we can have with friends before the baby comes?! ZERO (hopefully)
Maybe they feel they need to get this out of their systems. Or maybe they are scared? JOIN THE CLUB! How many 1st time moms, moms again after a long time, or any mother-to-be here that doesn't have fears, doubts, concerns about how their life is going to change?! I say why should they get their behaviors blown off, excused or chalked up to fear when so many of us actually responsible for the life and well-being of our child at this point feel the same way?! What gives them the right to treat someone they supposedly loved enough to create a child like $hit just because they are scared or not ready?! Especially if these were planned pregnancies. It's not fair to come back now when it's too late to change anything and say you are having 2nd thoughts. These babies didn't get to choose who their parents are but they are coming into this world regardless. These guys need to except responsibility for that - no, they need to embrace that and be the MEN they are supposed to be. Not causing unneeded stress to pregnant women which can directly effect those babies just because it makes them feel better. I say GET OVER YOURSELF!!!! No one has the right to inflict that kind of pain on another person. These are the mother's of their children and in 90% of the cases the person they swore to love, honor and cherish. Like I said before, it's a lack of respect and consideration. And it's crap that it can be excused away so carelessly.
This was one of the responses I got...
Preach on Sista!! I totally agree and that was very well said. I can only PRAY that **** is half the father I had growing up. Oh and the alcohal thing, dont even get me started! I think most of you know my situation with the DUI **** just got. I have had ONE glass of wine in the past eight months and believe me, he hasnt cut back for my sake. Why should HE have to suffer because I cant drink? BECAUSE IM BARING YOUR CHILD.
To which I responded...
I know - why should our lifestyles be the only ones to change?! Like I said, especially with the planned pregnancies - we had someone their with us making the decision and making the baby. I don't remember myself lying in bed with a turkey baster and a vial of his semen. He was there too and needs to be a part of this pregnancy!
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Ladies are you with me?! I swear I want to conduct a study. To somehow get guys who have done this sort of thing (walking out on pregnant wife/girlfriend, going out 'til all hours, etc) and have them answer anonymously on why they did what they did, what drove them, did they consider the women's feelings or consider the affect on the baby, did it make them happy, did they regret it, did it work out, etc. I picture myself like Ashley Judd's character in "Someone Like You" who forms her opinnion of why men cheat and leave and writes articles on the subject. I could go on Oprah with my findings. It would give some meaning to having gone through that. Where can I go about something like that? Where can I post an online survery to get men to respond to this subject? It's very interesting to me why they think they can just do this to people when they are most vulnerable.
Oh, well...maybe crusading for pregnant women - nah, ALL women everywhere will have to wait 'til another day. For now, I've got work to do.
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