Brothers & Sisters Club

I took the boys to a Brothers & Sisters Club class at the hospital tonight and boy am I SO glad we went. I was hesitant when I first signed up because she said the next oldest child in the class that night was 8 and the age ranges were 3 - 8 years old. I started to think my boys would feel really out of place. We were actually supposed to go last Wednesday and then Dallas got sick so we rescheduled for this Wednesday. I tried to give the boys an out on whether they even wanted me to reschedule or not and they did. I'm glad we were in tonight's class because there were 10 kids all together and there were a couple other boys around their age.

They really enjoyed it. We were supposed to bring baby pictures of themselves so when we first got there they took those and put an ID bracelet on them just like the one the baby will have when it's born. They got an activity book where they could write a story about their own birth. It was fill in the blank so they'd have to ask mom & dad questions. There were pages to color and word games of baby related words, dot to dot, pages where they could put their baby picture, a picture of the new baby when it comes and a picture of them with the baby (again when it comes) all in a row on a page. And above that is a guest book page where they can have the people who visit us at the hospital sign in. They got finger printed on a sticker and that went on a page along with the ID bracelet they got. There was a page to put a certificate they got for attending the class.

They had all the kids sit on the floor and these 2 nurses first showed the baby pictures every one had brought and talked about how different those babies look compared to how the kids look now. All the things the babies in those pictures couldn't do yet or do for themselves that others would have to do for them, etc. They showed life size pictures of what a woman's body looks like on the inside before and during pregnancy. They asked the kids to point out and name things on the pictures. Real names too like uterus and umbilical cord. They talked about things the baby does and goes through while it's in the uterus. I was really proud of my boys, they participating a lot in the discussion and always raised their hand. Unlike a couple other younger kids who talked NONSTOP!

Then we went to a birthing room and they explained the monitors and the birthing bed. Took it apart, pulled out the stirrups. Talked about contractions and pushing. Showed the warming tables they put the babies in to clean them up and check out their heart, give them some air, check length and weight. Showed them how after mommy has gotten up for a bit, they pull down a queen size bed out of the wall for her to sleep in the rest of the time. Showed the refrigerators, tv's and vcrs in the room for when kids come to visit mommy and baby. They showed the little kitchen where there is pop, juice, and snacks for the families.

It got REALLY interesting when we went back to the classroom. First they had some formula for them to try. That was priceless! I took pictures of Brendon and Dallas just as they were taking the sips. I know Brendon's face was already curdling so I hope the shot is good. I couldn't take any more of their after reactions because they both starting gagging and I totally thought they both were going to throw up right there. It was hilarious!!! Then they got to change a diaper on a practice baby. They had to hold the baby then lay out a blanket, undress it and change the diaper. That was great and you know what - they really enjoyed it. They took right too it. I took several pictures of them changing their babies. And the nurse took one of all of us together. At one point Dallas had his baby standing on it's head either moving the diaper forward or putting the legs back in the sleeper. It was funny! Then they picked them up and held them. I got a picture of that too. I really wish we had a digital camera so I could include the pictures right now but it will have to wait for traditional old developing which probably won't be 'til after the baby comes and we finish up the role.

Like I said, I am SO glad I took them. Dallas told me after we got in the car that now that he went to that he is really excited for the baby to be here and Brendon said he was too. That was so great to hear. We had a really good night.

We used the same babies for breastfeeding class the night before and you know, they were actually pretty heavy. Each baby doll had a bracelet with it's name and weight. Mine last night was 6 lbs, 8 ozs (right near our baby's estimated weight) and I thought man this feels heavy. When I asked the instructor she said they actually probably weigh a couple lbs more because of how they are weighted - all in the body and not in the head and limbs. The boys' babies tonight were both over 8 lbs so they were actually handling like a 10 lb baby.

On the regular baby front, I have my last ob check tomorrow. The day after that (Friday, 12/17/04) will be my last day at work. I decided to take Monday the 20th off since Ken did and we'll need that day to prepare ourselves and to be together. Ken & I - AND all of us as a family.

If I don't post before then, we'll let you all know when baby is here and the particulars on weight and stuff.

Until next time...

Baby's Due Date

clean bill of health

Had our last u/s today. As you know, back in September we had that scare that we could be facing a possible heart or chromosone defect and had a Level 2 ultrasound. That ultrasound was fine for the heart and/or chromosones - they didn't see anything at all. But in one picture they got an enlarged left kidney. So, we've had this 2nd Level 2 ultrasound scheduled since then so that they could check before delivery and know if there was going to be anything they needed to do at delivery. GREAT NEWS...we got a clean bill of health. Nothing at all wrong with the kidneys and although they couldn't get a great look at the heart (baby is where it should be - head down, facing backwards - making it difficult to see) - they agree with the more detailed look back in Sept - no defects! We are right on schedule for everything to progress with no problems.

They estimated the baby's weight at 6 lbs 4 oz and average is 6 lbs 5 oz for 37 weeks. So much for our dr thinking it will be bigger than average. Of course I still have 12 days 'til sched c-section (no counting today as a day anymore) so it will still gain but I think we'll be right in there at 7 - 8 lbs. I think I was saying before that Brendon was like 7 lbs 6 oz and Dallas was like 6 lbs 9 oz.

Speaking of boys...I told the tech if she wanted to triple check the sex she could. There was a moment of silence so I said, "we've already been told a boy...", she interrupted me to say, "I was just going to say I hope you were told a boy". So, it didn't fall off in the last couple months! JUST KIDDING! Yes, I wanted a girl having already had the 2 boys but I love this baby no matter what and I can't wait for him to be here with us.

I'm just so happy that will all the scares and bumps we've had along the way that we are just 12 days away from having our little bundle! YEAH!!!!!!!!

Baby's Due Date

My other shower...

Had my other shower Sunday, thrown by Stacy. Lots of people and tons of stuff. Some of you did way too much (and you know who you are) !

I got all of this:

pacifiers (3 sets)
socks (3 sets)
bottles (4 sets)
bibs (4 sets)
rattles (3 including the 2 on the cake)
receiving blankets (3 sets)
onzies (3 sets)
teether (vibrating even)
Destin
baby shampoo
nightime bath & lotion
sleepers (about 8)
Snoopy diaper bag
nasal aspirator (or "booger getter")
baby nail clippers
bottle/nipple brush
tie (or no sew) baby blanket
My 1st Teddy stuffed animal
diapers (3 packages, size 1)
fleece blanket
night light
sippy cups
wash clothes
t-shirts (not onzies)
feeding spoons
eculyptus/menthol baby wash & lotion
baby powder
wet wipes
Nike sweatsuit
vibrating bouncer seat w/attached toys & blanket

Like I said, a TON of stuff!!

We also finally got the baby's room all cleaned out and Ken & his dad put the crib and changing table together yesterday. While cleaning out that room I came across the curtains my mom made when Brendon was born so we decided to use those so this baby will have the same curtains the boys did when they were babies. We haven't gotten everything put away in there yet because we still need to scrub the walls and decide if we need to paint. Soon though!

Basically though now if we should have this baby early, at least we have everything we need to start. Everything else is just stocking up on extras. What a relief!!! Probably more so for Ken than me since someone would of had to take him shopping if anything had happened before my shower.

The boys have been really funny. They both liked the tie baby blanket Aunt Chris made so now they each want one for themselves. I said we'd see if Aunt Chris would have time to make them each one for Christmas. We went out to Hancock Fabrics today they picked out some Iowa (Hawkeye that is not farmland, cows or pigs or something) fleece material. They'll look cool but ummm - they weren't cheap! They also both have been playing with the vibrating teether Jaci, Mike and Tyler got us. I caught Brendon several times biting on it himself to feel it vibrate. That both actually said they each want one as a stocking stuffer. I'm going to do it as a joke! To top that, I also caught Brendon sitting in the car seat once! They are so funny!

Thanks again to everyone for the generousity, kindness, concern and friendship!

Baby's Due Date

Work Shower Today

They through me a shower at work today. Actually it was a pot luck so we had lots of good food!! I told them all how much I appreciated it even though I caught on that something was up. Hehe! It's really hard to pull off surprises so I relly do appreciate the effort!

So, we ate and played a couple games - had some cake and really awesome punch. Their gift was a money tree and it was so cute because all the money was tied on in bows of pink & blue yarn!!! That money was enough to pay for the swing, car seat and stroller I am getting from Stacy this weekend - with some left over to stock up on diapers or something.

The only thing I have bought is a few sleepers. Well, we did already buy Stacy's crib, changing table and dresser. My mom got us a new mattress then for the crib. My aunt sent up from Missouri a high chair and playpen. So that is a lot of the big stuff out of the way and off the mind!

My other shower is this Sunday. Can't wait to see everyone there and to see all the little precious stuff - this is the fun part - seeing all the cute stuff! Just waiting for the cute baby now!

Baby's Due Date

latest visit...

To the ob that is - not labor & delivery!

Nothing was really has changed...

...I gained a couple more pounds - nothing to fret over.

...the baby is head down now.

...I'm still measuring big so she said she thinks the baby will be bigger than average. That all depends on what average is, huh? Some of the stuff I've read online says 7 1/2 - 8 lbs at term is average but from hearing of friends' and friends of friends' babies birth weights, I really think 9 lbs is average anymore. So, I'm going to split the difference and say this baby will be 9 lbs are so. Maybe we should start a pool?! Some of you can even be brave and still guess girl if you want to! HA.

I had my Group B Strep test today. That was FUN!!! I won't go into details of how and where they take swabs from - that right there should be enough for you anyway. This test, for those that don't know, is now mandatory I believe to make sure a mother doesn't have a building staff infection that the baby could come into contact with at delivery. Staff infections can be dangerous to mother and child, although many times it just means antibiotics right away and possibly a little longer stay in the hospital. It probably won't really pertain to me since I am having a c-section rather than normal delivery but I am still glad they take the precaution.

Let's see...like I said, nothing else really. I go back next Thursday afternoon, the day after we have that next ultrasound, so hopefully we still have a clean bill of health then! Keep your fingers crossed!

Got my shower this weekend. I am SO excited to see all the little baby stuff! It's been hard waiting let me tell you! And we WILL have the baby's room all cleaned out by then to put all the stuff in. That is before Dallas' birthday party Saturday night. Phew - we have a busy weekend. That and a lot to do in the next 3 weeks (or less)!!!

Baby's Due Date

ok - I like this one better...

Still messing around with my tickers. I found a site that only puts the days until so I went with that.

Baby's Due Date

new tickers

Just changed my due date ticker a little and added a new one for the scheduled c-section date - that's only 25 DAYS AWAY!!!!

Baby's Due Date


Baby's scheduled arrival (by c-section)

Oops - didn't realize it would say I was further along that I am, just ignore that and go by the "only ?? days left".

we have a date...

Just got back from the dr a little bit ago and we finally scheduled the c-section date. Neither Ken or I are thrilled with it but it is the earliest she would even consider based on my due to date. So, we are looking at Tuesday, Dec. 21st at 7:30 am (of course we have to be there at 5:00 am).

We really wanted either the 17th or the 20th so we'd be home in time for Christmas but, like I said, she wouldn't consider anything before the 21st. Which as Ken pointed out, we really don't know why she would be a stickler on that when she already said that if anything happened after 34 weeks, they'd go ahead and take the baby. If it's ok to take it now if something unforeseen happens, then why couldn't we fudge the schedule by a couple days?! Who knows?!

Anyway, she says we will get out on the 24th so at least we'll still have Christmas morning with the boys but probably won't be traveling to Worthington to see Ken's parents on Christmas Day like we usually do. We just better make sure we have all our Christmas shopping done by the 20th. Maybe we'll both take that day off for last minute shopping if we need to. HA. Funny, doing last minute shopping - all that walking - is what put me into labor with Dallas. His b-day is Dec. 9th.

But the good news is the boys are still in school through Dec. 22nd so we'll have all day at the hospital before we need to worry about getting them picked up. I told Ken I would have him pick them up at school that day and bring them to the hospital.

Otherwise, everything else is going fine. My weight was up to 14 lbs at my last appt but back down to 10 lbs at this one. She asked me how that happened and I told her my last appt was on my birthday and I'd been snacking ALL DAY LONG!!! Good thing I didn't go in yesterday when I had (4) desserts at our department lunch! (MAN, did I pay for that later!) She said the baby is really growing so we always like to hear that. No estimates on weight or anything and she never says how I'm measuring - except once she did say I'm always measuring bigger.

I go back on the 1st. We have the 2nd Level 2 ultrasound on Dec. 8th to check the baby's kidneys. I'm sure we'll get an estimate on size then - we have at the others. We're still pluggin' away.

Thanks for everyone's care, concern and prayers when they were needed. I can't wait to see this baby! Thanks for everything.

half days...

I am officially on 1/2 days through the end of my pregnancy. That is as of 1:00 am Friday morning when I left labor and deliver.

Dallas and I had gone to Walmart after school conference and within a few minutes my stomach started to hurt really bad. I could barely walk, I doubled over the cart handle a couple times. It hurt to bend or squat (like to pick something up). I got out of there as soon as I could after getting what I actually went for and called my mom on the way out the door to tell her I thought I'd be needing to bring the boys over and go to the hospital. I had picked up their supper so while they ate my plan was to lay down. The old ritual of...empty your bladder, drink 4 large glasses of water, lay on your left side and check for contractions - time them if any.

Really not long after getting home I was feeling better. It no longer hurt to walk or bend but I still laid down. I wasn't having any contractions but I wasn't feeling the baby move either. I had called Ken before I laid down and he was going to be calling to check on me at 8:15 pm break so I needed to decide what I was going to do. I called the hospital. They told me to keep doing what I had been doing, drink like 8 glasses of water, for another hour and call them back. I asked if I could have some apple juice too because I had wanted to do a kick count as well.

If you don't know what a kick count is...if you've haven't felt the baby move for a long time you are supposed to eat or drink something sugary, lay on your left side for one hour and count the kicks. You should feel 4 - 6 kicks in that hour. Once you have felt that many, you can stop counting but if you haven't felt that many in an hour, you are supposed to call you doctor.

Anyway, she said yes, I could throw in a glass of apple juice between my waters. In the 30 minutes following the apple juice I felt maybe 3 faint movements - no hard kicks. I called back and they said I needed more sugar. I was suppose to eat a candy bar and have a pop - Mt Dew. Like I need to be told to eat candy. I had already been using a bag of mint Hersey's Kisses to do kick counts earlier in the week. But we didn't have any pop with sugar. I buy for myself caffeine free diet pop so no kick there. The boys did have some Dr. Pepper but I can't stand it so Ken had to go get me a Mt. Dew. (Oh yeah, he had come home at that point...a little after 9:00 pm).

I called back at 11:00 pm and was only right at the minimum of 4 for the kick count for the hour and, again, they were faint not hard. They told me to come on in and get hooked up to a monitor.
After awhile the baby did really start to move a lot. I had a clicker in my hand that I was supposed to push the button when I felt it move. At one point it had the hiccups so I was clicking a lot then. HA. The nurse I had been talking to on the phone all night was who was checking on me at the hospital too, she came in and said everything was going good but my doctor was actually there for another delivery so she was trying to hold out to grab her from the OR to come see me. I was fine with waiting because if my doctor was right there then I wanted to see her too.

She came in a little before 1:00 am and checked my cervix. I still am not dilated at all which is good - let the baby cook in there a little longer - but she did decide to put me on 1/2 days the rest of the time.

I would love to work those 4 hrs in the afternoon and sleep in each day but since I still have to get the boys off to school, I can't really sleep in so I plan on taking them to school at 7:30 am and going to work from there. I guess my hours then would be something like 8:00 ish to noonish.

The good news is I found out that my secondary disability insurance that I took out a year before we even got pregnant because I knew there was a possibility I'd be off work, will not only pick up the difference in my pay for me working 1/2 time but they'll pay the full benefit of my policy which is $600 a month. WHAT A HUGE RELIEF!! I only have a little 40 hrs of vacation time and if AFLAC didn't kick in, I'd have to supplement this time off with vacation and even at that I would have to take some of it unpaid and we just can't afford that. So, now I will get full pay while working 1/2 days and not have to touch my vacation time. Well, except the 1st week waiting period but some of that falls over my paid holidays for Thanksgiving so I still won't have to use much.

I was supposed to go in for a check today anyway but since I saw my dr last night she told me to call in and reschedule that for Monday or Tuesday. I go then on Tuesday at 1:00 pm. I had asked her about traveling to Ken's aunt & uncle's for Thanksgiving and she said let's wait 'til that appt to decide. I think if as long I don't have any contractions between now and then she will be ok with it and she wants me to be able to lay down in the car. His aunt & uncle live in Elkader which Ken says is about an hour and a half away. I really hope I get to go. I have been looking forward to Thanksgiving dinner for WEEKS. If I can't go to Elkader I am having Thanksgiving someone here in town then because I am soooooooo hungry for it. Any offers? Just kidding.

So, once again, I'll keep you all posted.

another week closer...

Had latest ob check today - going every week now. I had totally forgotten to call in on Monday for the results of my Fetal Fibronectin test. When I realized that last night I figured it must have been negative or else I would have heard and I was right. Each test gives a 2 week window so that means I shouldn't go into labor unforeseen in the next two weeks. It sounded then like she would do the test every two weeks 'til I'm much closer.

Much closer? I figured it out earlier this week if I go the full time and have the scheduled c-section around Dec. 17th like I want, that was about 45 days from that moment. 45 DAYS!!! Are you kidding me? That's nothing! Look how fast a month goes by anymore! Sometimes it still seems like we were just finding out we were pregnant but that was WAY back in April. We'd better get crackin' on the babies room. We did get the computer and desk moved down to the basement yesterday. WE - like I did any of it - HA. That was really the major thing though. Now just a bunch of boxes, another desk, a small dresser, end table, tv stand & tv. Put up the crib, changing table and dresser, buy a mattress for crib. AHHHHH! Well, maybe it will be like with Brendon. The day after we finished the nursery, I went into labor and he was born before midnight that night.

I'm doing fine. No more contractions. In fact because of that she decided not to check my cervix today. She said she wasn't going to disturb anything. I'm still only at 8 lbs gained for the entire pregnancy. She expressed some concern over that but I don't know what to tell her. I am eating!!!

The heart rate today was 148. A little up there again from the majority of the times. We were joking at work about it being twins and the low heartbeat we heard so many times was a boy baby and the higher heart beat we heard in the beginning and now is a girl baby. Just joking though - I would think it would be highly unlikely given the fact that I've had 5 ultrasounds. You'd think they would have seen (2) babies on one of them - especially the transvaginal ones. It was a funny thought though.

Well, I'll continue to keep you all posted.

man, it's been awhile...

I haven't updated forever...too much going on I guess.

Well, let's go back...

Starting with 10/16/04:

This was the day of my PartyLite party. By time I gathered everything up at my mom's, hauled it back in the house and then jumped in cleaning my own house (since everyone else was camped out on the couches either playing video games or talking on the phone) oh I'd say by 5:00 pm I knew something was starting with the baby. I took it easy the rest of the day but from 9:00 - 9:30 pm I was having contractions every 2 minutes. Those subsided but I was still feeling pressure. Still not sure if it was serious enough to go to the hospital but knowing that my ob was upset with me that I hadn't gone in other times, I waited 'til 10:30 - 11:00 pm before I went.

They hooked me up to the monitor and not long after that I started having cramps/contractions - whatever they were. They said nothing was showing up on the monitors but they still gave me a shot to stop the contractions. Why they'd would do that if nothing was showing up I don't know but I suppose it was based on what I was telling them I was experiencing. They sent me home just over 2 hours after I had gotten there.

I rested the rest of the weekend and didn't have any more contractions for days.

So then on 10/21/04:

I had my regularly scheduled ob appt. I told her about my trip to L&D. She talked about repeating the Fetal Fibronectin test but it was too soon. It was to be at least 2 weeks. We talked about the connection of these bouts coming on on the weekends when I've been on my feet more and doing more than I do during the week so she said to stay off my feet as much as possible.

She said every week now that I make it she is just happy as can be with because we just didn't know what would happen with my cervix. It's still closed. She also said that if I go into labor anytime after 34 weeks (2 1/2 weeks from now) they'll just let me go. That's mid-November so I'm kind of resigning myself that we may very likely have a November baby. And actually as long as it's healthy, I'd be TOTALLY ok with that.

So, then I was going good until 10/27/04:

I didn't get a lot of sleep the night before. I swear there was an alien space ship hovering over our house the entire night. There was this loud buzzing noise over our house and eventually it started pounding inside my head. I was awake from that before the alarm went off but was just laying there not wanting to get up either. All of all sudden I felt like I was going to throw up. I turned on my side and soon started having cramps. After a little while I went ahead and got up and the rest of the morning I just didn't feel right. When I would walk my stomach felt different, later it was hard as a rock. Around 9:00 am I started having the pressure and pinching. Right then I told Leslie and Carla (the girl who is filling in for me) that I would probably be going home. I stuck around long enough to get Carla to a point where she'd have something work on the rest of the day. My plan then was to go home and go through the routine for pre-term labor...which is empty your bladder, drink 4 glasses of water and lay on your left side for an hour. If you have 4 or more contractions in an hour - head to the hospital. First Ken & I grabbed a bite to eat then I laid down. Within 10 minutes of my head hitting the pillow I was OUT.

An hour later I woke up though again having the pressure and pinching/cramping. I started my water again and waited. It was like that for about an hour and a half but not real intense or painful so again I didn't go to the hospital. The rest of the night I stayed off my feet and felt better just slow moving.

The next day I felt fine and happen to have an ob appt already scheduled that day - 10/28/04:

I told her how I had felt the day before and she re-did the Fetal Fibronectin test. I won't get the results 'til Monday. She checked my cervix, said it feels the same and that the baby still feels high (hasn't dropped).

So, the advice was basically the same. Stay off my feet as much as possible and go to the hospital if anything happens. I haven't had anything since.

Last night was funny though. When the winds picked up so much around 8:30 or so, he (or she) was moving like crazy. Have you ever heard that women can go into labor when there is a storm - it's the change in the barametric or air pressure?! That was really the first time I was seeing my stomach move around like there was an alien in there. No one else was home so it was just me laying there watching it all.

Hey, did anyone notice that I said he (or she) just then? I've been having thougths sometimes that when we go in for the c-section the baby actually comes out a girl. Maybe I'm just holding on to that a little. BUT a couple weeks ago Ken called out the word "GIRL" in his sleep. It was almost an exclamation, like "GIRL??". HAHA. Also the baby's heartbeat was back up to 152 at my appt Thursday. The last 4 or 5 appts it's been 140 every time. Plus I've got other girl "signs"...carrying high and all in front. I KNOW, I KNOW those are just old wives tales and I know of people who had those signs a certain way and it turned out to be the other but it's fun to toss the ideas around.

So it's day by day. Like I said, I've sort of resigned myself to a November baby so we'll see.

more contractions...

Well, I went back to my ob for an unscheduled visit after having contractions every 3 minutes for a little over an hour through the night Sunday night - from about 12:10 am to 1:30 am. I had gone to bed around 10:00 pm and was awoken suddenly at 12:10 am with these pains. Anyway, I was already laying down but after going to the bathroom, I got a glass of water and laid back down to wait it out. It wasn't 'til I looked up pre-term labor online at work the next morning and saw that any contractions over 4 or 5 in an hour you should call your doctor or be seen. I was still just going to wait and see if contractions started back up on Monday before I did anything until I read that so I went ahead and called my ob. They had me come in.

She checked my cervix and said it still feels closed and tight. The also did this test called Fetal Fibronectin where they take a swab from inside and depending on the results it's an indicator of whether I am likely to deliver early. I found this online at http://www.adeza.com/html/ffn_faq.htm. Fetal fibronectin is a protein that acts as a “glue” to hold the baby in place during the critical time of the baby’s development. Towards the end of pregnancy, fFN leaks (the “glue” begins to break down) into the vagina, which is a sign that delivery may be near. A negative fFN test result means that you are at lower risk of delivering prematurely. So negative is the desired result. Now my doctor said that a positive result wouldn't really tell them anything one way or another but this website says a positive fFN test result means that you have an increased risk of delivering prematurely. And it goes on to say, how you are treated for a positive fFN test is dependent on a number of other factors that you may be experiencing in your pregnancy.

Yesterday she sent me home for the rest of the day to rest. I still felt pressure and pinching throughout the day but nothing anymore intense or consistent. I sleep fine and so far today feel ok. I haven't been up walking around much but I think I am starting to feel some twenges of pressure. It's totally a wait and see thing. I am now suppose to go to the hospital if I have more than 4 contractions in an hour. If my doctor had told me that last week when we decided I was starting to have contractions, I probably would have gone in Sunday night. Otherwise, my thoughts were if it got to be a couple hours or I couldn't go back to sleep then I would go in. Since they subsided and I was able to sleep the rest of the night I thought I was ok. She talked about cutting me back to 1/2 days if necessary but nothing else will be decided either until I have another round of contractions or depending on the test results. She had told me to call back in yesterday afternoon for the results but when I called at the end of the day they didn't have them yet. I'll have to call again this morning.

I've been joking all along about having a Thanksgiving baby instead of a Christmas baby but I never thought Halloween would play into it. HA. But no, that's not going to happen, we are going to keep this baby in as long as possible. My mom asked me last night if I was far enough along for the baby to survive if it were born now or soon. I told her survive, yes, but it would probably be in the hospital for a while. The main thing with preemies is that their lungs aren't fully developed. I would think if the contractions continue or I end up on bedrest they may start the steriod injections that are available to help develop the baby's lungs. Otherwise, the estimates or averages of the baby's size at 28 weeks (which I will be 29 weeks tomorrow) is 14 inches from head to toe and roughly 3 lbs. Our last ultrasound estimated the baby at 1 lb, 12 oz but that was a month ago so 3 lbs or more even seems right.

I'll be updating here as we go.

latest check-up...

Had another ob check yesterday - like I said, I go every 2 weeks now. Everything is still fine (well sort of - you'll see why when you keep reading). Gained 4 1/2 lbs in the last 2 weeks. WHOA!! I'm not going to let that bother me. I made it to 26 weeks only gaining 5 lbs and I'm only at 9 1/2 overall. The average at this point is 17 - 24 lbs so I'm still hanging in there below average. While the baby has always measured a little above average. It's all baby. In fact she said she always has me measuring bigger than I should be but my ultrasound dates are right on.

I am starting to have contractions though. Those are her words too - she didn't say Braxton Hicks - she said it sounded like I was starting to have contractions. I had told her about these pains I had low in my pelvis for about 2 hours Friday night. They beared down like a cramp but at the height of it there would be a sharp pain or pinch. Pretty much what I had when I went into premature labor with Brendon. I told her that I laid down, went to bed and if I hadn't been able to sleep through the night or woke up with them Saturday morning then I was going to the hospital. She said that is exactly what I should do. (DUH?!) I had those pains again for about 10 minutes on Tuesday night too.

The weird thing is that after telling her that she didn't check my cervix. I would think if you have a patient who is at risk of premature delivery due to incompetent cervix and they tell you they are starting to have contractions - wouldn't you think you should check to see if they dilated at all from those contractions. I don't know - call me crazy but it seems to me that would be a given. I don't know why she didn't check my cervix either way. I'm pretty sure she has on every visit 'cept when I've had an ultrasound that visit also because they measure it on ultrasound so no need to physically check.

I had my gestational diabetes test on this visit. I'm soooo glad they have that orange flavor drink now. I remember with the boys the brown, cola like stuff. I didn't really have a problem getting it down taste wise. It was the drinking it in 5 minutes that was kinda hard. She said if I didn't hear from he by 5:00 pm then everything was fine with my test and I didn't hear anything. They also tested my iron and that was good at 12.2 - 12 is average.

So, other than we are hitting these heavier more uncomfortable months (I mean do I ever have a waddle when I walk) - we are still hanging in there. I don't know if we'll have any more ultrasounds before that next Level 2 ultrasound on 12/08. If these contractions keep up, we might not even make it to that one. I've said all along, this baby could have a mind of it's own and we end up with a Thanksgiving baby instead of a Christmas baby. We'll see. As long as he is healthy!!!

boys aren't so bad...

My boys proved to me tonight how sweet they can be. It's not really THAT rare of an occassion but this was especially sweet.

They like to walk over to Hy-Vee or Drug Town (we live just a couple blocks) and buy candy or useless crap they can pile in their disaster of a room - oops off track. Anyway, they walked over there tonight because a friend was going and the last $16 of Brendon's birthday loot was burning a whole in his pocket. It was getting late ('bout 7:15 pm) so I told them to hurry because I didn't want them walking that far after dark. At 7:30 pm it already looked dark so I was going to jump in the truck and head that way and pick them up. When I stepped outside, I realized it wasn't quite as dark as I thought and I'd give them a few more minutes. Within the amount of time it took me to go to the bathroom, they come strolling in. They yelled to me they have a surprise. I could see Brendon holding a rectangular box behind his back. It looked like a large board game or something. Well, when they showed it to me it was a Baby's Activity Rattle Play-Gym. Brendon had spent $5 (obviously a markdown) of his birthday money on his baby brother. Actually both brothers because he also bought Dallas a stuffed animal (he is obsessed with them).

I thought that was really sweet!!!! They'll be good with the baby.

Oh that reminds me - we were talking about buying a house with 4 or 5 bedrooms and Dallas made a comment about how that would be good for us because we are getting a baby. "Getting a baby" - like we will just go to the store and pick one out. HA.

E M B A R R A S S

Have you ever noticed that if you break down the word embarrass you actually get a root word of " bare ass"?! Boy did that ever fit for me last week...

oh yeah - this may be TMI (too much information) for some - not for the squeamish...

a first for me this pregnancy (never had it with the boys)...hemorrhoids! Oh and not your run of the mill hemorrhoid either - mine had a blood clot in it! So, after one trip to the doctor on Thursday and being in too much pain to wait the weeks it would take for the blood to reabsorb into my body, I ended up back at the doctor Friday to have the blood clot removed. Not the entire hemorrhoid mind you - no, that would be too merciful - just the blood clot.

But it was up on that table, on my side, naked from the waist down, with my doctor and his nurse stragetically positioned behind me that I really thought about the word embarrass (or bare ass) - for obvious reasons. And if that weren't bad enough - they have a new nurse who had never seen the procedure done before so they wanted to know if I minded if she watched. Heck, at that point how could I be more embarrassed?! Did you want to pose for a few pictures with the hemorrhoid too?

Hey, I got even though...that nurse didn't just watch - she got to hold my butt checks apart so the doctor could get in there! OH YEAH - I bet that made her day!!! Really though I handled the embarrassment in stride. I just kept thinking "God I hope I don't pass gas!". hehe

And it was about 12:30 pm so Ken and I were joking that we hoped they all had already eaten lunch. Otherwise, a cheeseburger covered in ketchup might night have been so appetizing after that procedure. HA.

On a lighter note, I am finally starting to feel better. The troops are retreating so to speak - I hope. At least I can sit without winching and wipe without crying. Ahhh the joys of pregnancy!

at what point do you leave?

I had an ob check yesterday - the appt was at 10:45 am and I got there at 10:44 am (not late). I waited about 45 minutes in the lobby before they took me back. That wasn't so bad but then I waited another HOUR in the little room before the doctor came in. I was NOT happy. I kept thinking "ok at an hour and a half I walking out". 5 minutes before that deadline I heard someone enter a room near me so I thought ok I'll wait and see if I'm next. 20 minutes later I was still sitting there. I know - I chicken out. I kept wondering what I would do if they walked in while I was dressing to leave. And then I also figured it would still come back on me. They'd say I left without being seen and still charge my insurance which would be crap because I was there - THEY were the ones not seeing me. Would you have left?

So, we were already on a bad note when the doctor asked me about my Level 2 ultrasound. I guess it was too soon for her to have gotten a report back from Iowa City. Anyway, I told her they didn't see anything. PAUSE...she wasn't really responding and I have a tendency that if there is a lull in the conversation I don't think the person understood what I was trying to say so I keep talking and talking. I said, "she said if you used your imagination maybe you could see something but she didn't think it was anything". Still PAUSE....ok maybe I got a "really?". But now I thought I had said something wrong so I tried to qualify it by saying, "well, they saw a bright spot on the right side but said it was muscle tissue and said maybe there was a brighter spot on the left but they didn't think that was anything". Then she lets loose with "WELL, we can CERTAINLY show them the pictures we saw because there definitely was a bright spot!!"

pissy, pissy, pissy

I thought later how that statement was news to me because on the phone she said she didn't see anything the day of the ultrasound at her office - and that it was another doctor who "thought" they saw a "small" echo. Now all of a sudden there "definitely" was something there. It's like she was pissed they are saying it was nothing. Wasn't that the goal?! Isn't "nothing" good news in this situation?!

Ok - this next part might be TMI (too much information) for some of you so be forewarned...

So then it was time for the pelvic check. I have one at every visit so she can check my cervix. And during each of those lovely exams I can alway feel her knuckles burring into my butt as she gets in there far enough to feel the cervix. Having someones knuckles pushing into your butt doesn't feel good anyday but it especially KILLS when you have a external hemrrhoid the size of Texas. (Ok I realize that analogy would then make my butt the size of North America but go with me on this.) No, there's no being delicate - she pushed right on the puppy too.

I was in tears leaving there. My butt hurt, my feelings were hurt, my pride was hurt! I just wanted to go home and crawl back in bed. Since I had to go back to work I treated myself to lunch instead. Still felt crappy the rest of the day! What ever happened to bedside manner?

Some GREAT news and some so so news...

Well, we got mostly great news today. They didn't see anything on the ultrasound. "They" being a technician, (2) doctors and a med student - we had a room full. First the technician did the ultrasound and took a bunch of pictures. She told us when she was looking at the heart that she didn't see anything. The echo the doctor here thought they saw was supposedly in the left ventricle. The tech today said she saw a brighter spot (remember that is what those echos are classified as - "bright spots") in the right side of the heart but that was only muscle tissue. She said maybe there was a brighter spot on the left side but she wouldn't even consider that anything. Later she also said she wouldn't have sent us for that.

Anyway, she went and showed everything to a doctor and then the doctor came in to watch her do more of the ultrasound. Funny thing - in that timeframe the baby flipped and they no longer could get a good view of the heart. They referred back to the pictures she saved earlier while she kept trying to get the baby to move. They were finally able to get a couple more views of the heart. Again, they didn't find anything. The one doctor said maybe there was a brighter spot and if you used your imagination then maybe you could make something of it but she didn't see it as anything. The other doctor said they were beautiful pictures of the heart. I was trying to hold back tears and the med student said, "this is a good thing" so then I had to choke out the words "I know, these are happy tears!". They all smiled and chuckled.

Our theme seems to be settle or discount one issue but find another. Well, turns out that on 1 out of 3 pictures of the baby's kidneys today - they think the left kidney was slightly enlarged. Again, this was only on 1 out of 3 pictures. SO...we get to do this Level 2 ultrasound again at 36 weeks to double check the kidneys before the baby is born. Again, they are telling us this could be absolutely nothing. The said that they have a set size the kidneys should be at 18 weeks, but I'm passed that stage. They also have a set size for the kidneys at 28 weeks and I'm not there yet. So, they said it could very well be that everything is fine for my gestational stage but they just don't have those set numbers. When someone is that far along they offer to come to Cedar Rapids to do the ultrasound. I took them up on that since with my stitches I may not tracel well at 36 weeks. So, that will be Dec. 8th.

Otherwise, I have a regular ob check on Monday the 20th (Brendon's 11th b-day) and another on Oct. 1st so chugging along we go.

The baby measured at 1 lb 12 oz - slightly above the above of 1 lb 8 oz - and the heartbeat was 146. Yes, slowing down to that boy rate.

I can't tell you how relieved we were or thank you all enough for your kind words and wishes. I asked Ken if he had said his prayers this morning or if he had at all. He said yes and asked if I had - and I said yes. I know you all did too.

I saw our family doctor later in the day and I hadn't been in since I've been pregnant so when they asked how everything was going I told them we've hit some bumps along the way but we are getting through fine. Now we pray it stays that way.

Thanks everyone.


OH YEAH...I forgot....

the technician was typing some stuff into the computer before she went to get the doctor. The first words I saw were "no abnormalities noted" and that was great! But then right befor she shut if off I saw this, "view limited due to patient's size". WHAT THE ...?!! I totally don't even know what that means!!! I guess it means since I'm overweight (aka FAT) they couldn't see as well. That totally sucks that they would even say that. I have to say I was kind of offended.

info on the "echo" my doctor referred too...

I tried to do some research yesterday as soon as I had a chance on this "echo" my ob referred to on the ultrasound. The only thing I could really find was about echocardiograms which basically is the ultrasound of the heart. Well, someone from the Incompetent Cervix support group I recently joined (online) turned me on to the actual name they are probably referring too. It's called an echogenic focus - a bright spot (or echo) in the heart on the ultrasound.

Here is a great site that explains it in easy terms and has a good ultrasound image showing the "echo".

http://www.medfriendly.com/echogeniccardiacfoci.html#whatisit

I got a lot of relief from this because it's very common for these echoes to show up on 2nd trimester ultrasounds but it also talked a lot about the possibility of Down Syndrome. I admit, I broke down for a few minutes. It's just so heartbreaking to think of the possibilities. I was trying so hard to convince myself that even if it was a chromosome defect that it didn't necessarily mean any form of retardation. I just don't know that much about it and I was hoping against hope that chromosome damage doesn't always mean retardation. And I don't think that it does but all the reading I've done on this particular condition, they only talked about Down Syndrome.

I truly do not intend to and hope I don't offend anyone who does know of or live with that kind of handicap when I express my fears. Ken and I both have Celerbal Palsy in our families. I've never told my sister-in-law this but I admire her for all she's done for my niece. I admire her strength. It's like I said before that you just never know how or if you can handle these types of things until or if they happen to you. I know I will find the strength yet I feel guilty for hoping that I don't have too.

Anyway, I also found some posts on another message board where people had an echo show on their ultrasounds too and everything turned out fine. They are very informative so I'm including a couple below. I already knew before this that a lot of these genetic or abnormality tests are very unreliable and inconclusive. That is part of the reason we turned them down. I turned down the amnio because of the significant risk of miscarriage and also turned down the Alpha Feta Protein blood test because of the high number of false positives. I also didn't want to have to go through the rest of my pregnancy stressing out about something I couldn't change. Yet here I am doing that same thing.

Still trying to stay positive and keep my mind off of it 'til the test.

Here are those stories of other people's cases...(these were not posted to me, they were posted to someone else at some point who went through the same thing).

"...just went through your very same experience. I was told at 21 weeks that my baby had an Echogenic Focus of the Left Ventricle. My OB was not concerned and said it is a very common finding and sent me to a Perinatologist to do a level 2 U/S. The Peri saw absolutely nothing and told me that the original U/S could have just been on a weird setting that day. The Peri and the OB both told me that this does not indicate D/S and with it being the only thing that was possibly seen on the 1st. U/S they didn't even feel the need for an amnio, which my husband and I would have rejected anyway because we would never terminate the pregnancy regardless of the outcome and the risk of miscarriage and infection are pretty high with amnio. I am 31 years old and this is my 3rd. baby. I am confident that your baby will be fine if this was the only thing they saw. I cried for three weeks waiting for my appt. with the Peri, please try to relax and take care of your pregnancy. I know first hand how scary it is to be told that there may be something wrong, but know that God is in control. My Peri told me that the U/S tech. should never say what the possibilities are especially when this is the only marker. I will be praying for you, your baby and your husband. Hang in there, you will end up very happy in a few months. ...".

"...know what your going through. At 19 weeks they also saw an echogenic focus on my baby's heart. My triple screen came back normal too and my doctor did not advise an amnio (I am 28 yrs. old) She told me her group sees this with some degree of frequency in their patients. She currently had 5 other women with this besides me. At my 28 week ultrasound they could not find the EIF. I visit this site often because it is positive and I have not read one story about EIF being the only marker and a baby having a chromosomal defect. If your doctor feels good about things that's a good sign. Read the old posts on here too and you will feel better. Good luck. ...".

"...My baby had an ECF in her left ventricle at my 18 week ultrasound. I was 34 at the time and no other markers were present. I didn't have an AFP or an amnio but did worry for the rest of my pregnancy. I had genetic counseling and there was a lot of doom and gloom about Down Syndrome presented to me and my husband which was so unnecessary. It caused us so much anguish.

My daughter is 11 months now and perfectly healthy. I am now pregnant with my third child and if my ultrasound shows up an ECF, I definitely won't worry this time. ...".

I'm adding this on 09/13/04 after a response on the message boards over the weekend...

"...I have a very good friend who also as told at her 20 week sono that the baby had this spot on his heart. They told her that sometimes this is seen in babies with downs, but not always. They did not find any other problems that would cause them to suspect a chromosome defect. (thick nuchal fold, SGA ect..) The spot on the heart continued to show up on all subsequent sono's. Her doc told her that from his experience, the spot ended up being nothing more times than it was a problem. She delivered a 8# 7oz healthy baby boy 2 days ago. He does not have any heart problems or anything. I will keep you in my prayers. ..."

Here is just another brief explanation and doctor's thoughts...

Intracardiac Echogenic Focus

Increased echogenicity (a bright echo) of the fetal cardiac papillary muscles or chordae tendineae (usually left-sided) is seen in 3 to 5% of fetuses scanned and is considered by most investigators to be a benign ultrasound finding. Reports of Bromley et al and others, however, have suggested that there is an association between this finding and trisomy 21 (Down Syndrome). This group found that 6% of fetuses with an echogenic intracardiac focus had trisomy 21. They estimated that in a low risk population with an age adjusted risk of Down syndrome of 1/250, the presence of an intracardiac echogenic focus would have a 1.5% predictive value for trisomy 21 (Down Syndrome). However, other investigators (including data from SJMMC) have not been able to find a statistically significant association between isolated echogenic foci in the fetal heart and chromosomal abnormalities. Further research in this area still needs to be done to clarify the significance of Intracardiac echogenic foci.

I'll definitetly keep you all posted.

possible heart defect...

We didn't get such great news today. If you read my last post, maybe you remember me saying that my ob said she would call me if anything changed on the official ultrasound report verses what she viewed in the office that day. Well, we got a call today that a radiologist thinks he sees a small echo (whatever that is) in the heart. They are sending us to University next Thursday (09/16/04) for a Level 2 ultrasound. This could be nothing - as in they may not even find an echo on the 2nd ultrasound. Or it could be a heart defect, an underlying heart disease, or a chromosome defect.

Needless to say I've been a wreck since I got the call. Then I missed the call back with our appt time so I was wondering why the heck they hadn't called me back yet. I finally checked my voice mail and they had actually called. I'm trying to stay positive but it's scary. We previously turned down all of the genetic testing they offered (based on my age) because we figured there wouldn't be anything they can do anyway. I guessing that if this new ultrasound shows a defect they will insist on an amniocentesis to rule out chromosome defects.

I remember we went through (3) different scares with Dallas - one before he was born and all of those came out fine. So, like I said, I am trying to stay positive and keep my mind off it but it's hard. It's not that I'm worried we'll lose the baby. I know they can do heart surgery and even can do that inutero. I'm worried if it's a chromosome thing then mental retardation always come to mind. Or with a heart defect, life long health problems. I just don't know if I'm strong enough to get through something like that. I guess you never do know until or unless it happens to you.

Keep us in your prayers this next week.

another appt...

Had my 23 week appt today. They were doing an ultrasound to check all 4 chambers of the heart. They saw all those fine but now say they couldn't see all of the spine. My doctor wasn't worried though because they never reported not seeing it on other ultrasounds. If the official report came back any different she was going to call me.

We got some great pictures today. I know I shouldn't even bother saying that since I haven't followed through with getting them up on here. I will, I will, I will! One was really cute where his foot was up by his head but he moved his head right when she took the still shot so it's out of the frame and now it just looks like an odd leg laying in there. HA.

And yes, I said "he". Apparently it's still a boy. It didn't fall off in the last 3 weeks since the last ultrasound. Now just still deciding on a name. I think it's still Nicholas for the 1st name but now we can't agree on Richard or Dean for a middle name. I say Dean. Not just because it is my mom's middle name but it sounds better with Nicholas. I told Ken since he got his boy the least he could do is let me pick the name.

I'm still doing great. My cervix is unchanged - still long and thick. I've only gained 4 lbs overall. The nurse keeps asking me, "you are eating though, right?". OF COURSE - when have I ever not been eating! HA. No, but I don't eat anymore than I usually do and I'm eating the same stuff I usually do. Nothing more (or less) fatten than before. The baby measured at 1 lb 7 oz. The e-mail updates I get from American Baby put the 23 week average a 1 lb. So the baby is doing fine without me packing on an extra layer so we are ok with that.

Starting Monday I get to start parking in handicap at work anyway. For about a week or so now I have been having trouble with the morning hike from the back 40 of the parking lot to the building. By time I hit the sidewalk, I was short of breath, stomach hurt, felt like I was either was going to throw up or pee my pants. I don't know if anyone could ever tell but it's probably not a vision to see me doing Lamaze breathing just to walk from point A to point B. I mentioned it to my doctor and she faxed over a note to work and they didn't have a problem with it. Yeah PMX. We'll see if I get to the point where I need a temporary handicap permit for all my ventures. All that will mean is that I'll be the designated driver to EVERYWHERE. HA.

I start going every 2 weeks now and will have my 1 hour gestational diabetes check in 4 weeks. Oh boy can't wait for that. Nothing to eat or drink for 2 hours before and an hour during - yeah that's logical for a pregnant woman. I don't know if we'll have any more ultrasounds. Probably because they is there best way to measure my cervix. I want so bad to ask if I am going to ever get a 3d ultrasound but I don't want to sound pushy. I know even though they have them they don't always offer them. We'll see.

Well, I am taking off for some much needed veggin' on my couch. I have been working 12 - 14 hours overtime a week and I am taking the night off. Not that it matters much since I'll be working Saturday and the holiday but I'll take it.

didn't realize my face needed fixed, but...

I've mentioned that I've been going on the American baby message boards a lot this pregnancy...well, recently they've changed the format and all the stuff we had built into our signatures had to be re-formatted. I had been having so many problems redoing my pictures. Sometimes they would post really huge - like a full page - and I thought that was kinda vain so I figured I needed to resize them but other times, like in responses, they would post just fine so I was venting on the message boards about it. (I never claimed to be very computer literate.) Anyway, another mom or mom-to-be sent me an e-mail saying that she hoped I didn't mind but she resized my pictures for me and offered to e-mail me the new ones to use. This is her e-mail though...

..."I saved your pics and resized them so they will fit better in your sig. They will also fix your face which looks like it got messed up but it looks fine in the one I did. ..."

I know she was just trying to help but that took me back a little at first! Like I said, I know I'm not the fairest maiden in all of the land but I didn't realize my face was "messed up".

That reminds me of a conversation Christine and I had at her 30th b-day party about the show "Extreme Makeover". I always thought I'd like to have some plastic surgery and hey if it's free all the better but some of those people REALLY need the help if you know what I mean. I don't think I'm that bad off but yeah re-align the headlights (boob lift), trim off some of the underbelly and fenders (liposuction), straighten out and polish the grill (tooth venures & whitening) and clean up the vision in mirrors with some laser treatment (lasik eye surgery) and I'd be good to go. That's not too extreme. Christine and I wondered then if there is a "Moderate Makeover" somewhere. HA.

soooooo sad.......

I was flipping channels and I came across this movie called "When Andrew Came Home". I had never heard of it so I checked the info (mother and son's relationship after he returns from a 5 year abduction is made difficult by the abuse he suffered while he was gone). Right there I should have known better than to watch. I don't know about you all but every since I've had kids - I can't watch things were kids are hurt at all.

Anyway, I did watch the last 15 minutes and I swear I've never cried so hard during a movie. Best I could figure is she was trying to home school him enough to pass some tests - he hadn't never been allowed to go to school. She couldn't reach him. They were staying on her brother's farm and he loved doing things on the farm and with his uncle. Out of frustation she says some things to her brother about how she blames herself for him being abducted (it was his father who did it and she had let him go with him) and that now she doesn't feel like his mother anymore and that she wouldn't choose him as her son and how badly she feels for feeling that way. The little boy overheard her say that and ran away. She ran after him saying she was sorry and that she didn't mean it. He yells at her that he hates her for never coming to look for him. Like I said, it was his dad who took him because he was mad she was seeing someone who loved her and the boy. In the 5 years he had him, he told him his mother didn't want him anymore, that she was tired of him being around. She told the boy how that was not true, how she looked for him everyday. That she had stopped living. Everytime she went to the store or anywhere she would look for him through streets and on playgorunds and how everytime he wasn't there it broke her heart. The sat in the barn from morning 'til night - not talking - the boy had fallen asleep and she went to cover him with a blanket. That startled him, he jumped and she told him he didn't have to be scared anymore. He started to tell her about those years. That they never stayed in one place too long. They moved around a lot - motels mostly. The last place they were at and stayed at the longest was a trailer. They never let him out in the yard during the day. He just sat inside and watched tv. He never got to go to school or know anyone else his age. It was just him, the dad and his girlfriend and the she would hit the boy. At night they would put him outside on a long leash. He would climb a tree and fall asleep. There were animals out there. He would think about her and get mad. He said again how his dad told him she didn't want him. And then he says to her, "but I know you did". He hugs her and says, "I'm home mommy".

Like I said, I was totally bauling. I almost couldn't breath and my stomach hurt. I thought I was going to go into labor. All I could think about was my boys. How it would kill me if anything every happened to them. How my heart would break and my life would be over if they ever had to go through anything like that. They are spending the night at a friend's and all I want to do is call and see that they are ok. To tell them that I love them.

As the little boy was telling his story, I remembered hearing a very similar story on Oprah when she featured as a guest a detective or reporter who had devoted his life to bringing these stories to light and the perpetrators to justice. I can't remember how this boy was found and I missed it in the movie but I think they were taking him somewhere and the car was pulled over by the police and the boy told who he was or they recognized him from the search efforts. Or maybe he had gotten loose somehow and was walking along a highway and was found by a police officer. I'm not sure but I found myself wondering if this really happened. At the end of the movie it said that the mother and child had gone home (from the farm) and were rebuilding their lives. That the father had been tried, convicted and was in prison. It went on to say that the story was fictional though based on real life events. I really think it was this same boy's story I had heard on Oprah.

It was just the saddest thing. I can't imagine the horror kids like that go through thinking no one is coming for them and that no one loves them. It really makes you want to make sure your kids know you love them everyday. I know we all think they must know that but do they? God I wish I could show them and tell right now!!!!!!!!!!!

Today's' Appt

Had another check up today. Every thing is A-OK. I'm measuring right on schedule and I've only gained 3 lbs. Now I don't know if that is three lbs after I gained back the 2 1/2 lbs I initially lost and it's now net 3 lbs gain. OR only a 1/2 lb actual gain if you factor in the 2 1/2 lbs from the 3. HUH? Did that make sense? I didn't want to ask and have them think I'm obsessing about my weight. The nurse asked me how I was doing it. Not from exercise that's for sure! HA. I said I don't know but I feel pretty good about making it half way and only gaining a couple lbs give or take. Of course I still have my biggest months ahead of me - only time will tell.

She did think she felt a "funny" loop in my stitches and said she hopes it isn't coming loose on that side. But she also felt the knot and my cervix is closed so she wasn't too worried. When they did a pelvic a week ago at the ER, she said my stitches were intact. You wouldn't think something would have happened between now and then.

I go back in 2 weeks for another ultrasound - mainly to check the heart since they weren't able to see all 4 chambers last time. I'm wondering if they'll be able to see my stitches on the u/s and make sure they aren't coming loose?! They measure my cervix from the u/s so I would think they could see the stitches. Well, that too time will tell. We'll deal with any of that when the time comes.

Otherwise, feeling good. So glad I can finally feel the baby move. I was thumping around before lunch yesterday and it's pretty active when I'm working on the laptop at home at night. Probably trying to tell me, "mommy quit working so hard and relax!".

Oh the heart rate today was 162 and 160 at the hospital last week. So I don't know, if you actually believe the old wives tales about heart rates above 150 being girls we could still get surprised. I'm going to try to get confirmation on that u/s on 09/03/04. I've going to drink so much water and have the fullest bladder they better watch out for a gusher! HA.

Finally felt it kick!!!

I've been dying for some movement to let me know everything is ok. It's hard when you go a month without an ob check and you aren't feeling it move yet. That's really the only way to know in between appts when you can hear the heartbeat that everything this is ok. Well, I got those fears eased at the hospital Friday. (see the post right below this one.) I heard the heartbeat as soon as the put the doppler on my stomach. She said it kept moving and I said, "you couldn't prove it by me". Well, this morning lying in bed I had my hand on my tummy feeling how hard it was and then it happened. He kicked me. I said to Ken, "ooh, I think I just got kicked". It did it again and I go , "yeah I got kicked". He put his hand there and it kicked 3 more times. He said he didn't feel it though. I don't know how because I had my hand over his and felt it but later I was thinking maybe I didn't really feel it in my hand, I felt it on my tummy and associated it to feeling with my hand. Anyway, I am SOOOO happy. It was really bumming me out that I wasn't feeling anything yet. You actually start to convince yourself that something is wrong. By time I get to an appt I'm so sure they aren't going to hear a heartbeat. But yeah - I felt it. Can't wait to lay down again and see if it happens again.

I guess we are going to have to find a boy name

I ended up at the ER this evening. I've been having some lower right abdominal pain when I stand up or turn over in bed. I've had this for years actually but it's been getting worse during this preg. I kinda let it go thinking it was the round ligament pain I've had heard about but it been happening more often and more intense so I thought I'd call my ob. Given my history (the cervical stitches) the wanted me to go to Labor & Delivery to be checked. They called me back and told me to go to the ER first so they could outrule apendicitis. They did a pelvic and my stiches are intact. So then they sent me for an ultrasound to check my ovaries for blood supply and possible cists and to check my appendix. I told the tech that if she happened to see the sex to not be afraid to tell me because we weren't able to see on the last ultrasound. She was asked me what I already have and I said 2 boys so of course I'm hoping for a girl but this is my husband's first so he is hoping for a boy. She turned the monitor to me and said, "well, it looks like your husband is going to get his wish!" And there is was - plain as day - up there on the screen. The legs definitely weren't crossed this time. Spread wide open - you could see both legs and definitely a dangly in between. My brother said, "so the apple had a stem, huh?". HA. The tech goes, "well, we still get surprised sometimes". Obviously trying to lessen the blow since I had said I wanted a girl. At that point though I was thinking I'D be surprised how it couldn't be a boy after seeing that. As much as I'd like to be in denial - I can't possibly. I saw it for sure.

Ken doesn't know yet. He doesn't even know I went to the ER - he is at work. So, I sent him a text message saying, "Better start thinking of boy names! Call me.". As for my visit - they found nothing just chalked it up to ligament pain (which I figured). They did incidentally find a UTI but that is nothing new. I get them chronically - usually every other month or so. This is my 2nd in this pregnancy. So one thing had nothing to do with the other just happened to find it in all the tests they did.

So, another boy! GOT to start searching for a boy name.

MEN!!!

I've been going on the American Baby (.com) message boards for about a month and a half now - commiserating with other pregnant women. Sometimes we talk about symptoms, due dates, names, etc and sometimes we complain about our DH (dear husbands), BF (boyfriends), SO (significant others), BD (baby's daddy), etc. A reoccurring theme is the DH, BF, SO, BD going out to much or spending more time with friends than wife, girlfriend, whatever. I too have posted about this same problem especially over this last weekend. Reading through peoples responses to mine and others who have the same problem another reoccurring theme I discovered was that we should forgive these guys because they are guys or they are getting it out of their system now since they can't later, or even a few (who cowardly posted anonymously) who said we were treating our men like were their mothers and we should give them a break. BLAH BLAH BLAH!!! BARF BARF BARF!!!

I finally had had enough of the excuses and I posted the following:

Why should the guys get to "get this out of their system"...

I've been posting off and on throughout the day about my problems with my dh and his going out. I'm not the only one. I've seen several posts since I started on here about the same thing.

Is it a guy thing? YES! How many of us pregnant women are out having the last rounds of drinks we can have with friends before the baby comes?! ZERO (hopefully)

Maybe they feel they need to get this out of their systems. Or maybe they are scared? JOIN THE CLUB! How many 1st time moms, moms again after a long time, or any mother-to-be here that doesn't have fears, doubts, concerns about how their life is going to change?! I say why should they get their behaviors blown off, excused or chalked up to fear when so many of us actually responsible for the life and well-being of our child at this point feel the same way?! What gives them the right to treat someone they supposedly loved enough to create a child like $hit just because they are scared or not ready?! Especially if these were planned pregnancies. It's not fair to come back now when it's too late to change anything and say you are having 2nd thoughts. These babies didn't get to choose who their parents are but they are coming into this world regardless. These guys need to except responsibility for that - no, they need to embrace that and be the MEN they are supposed to be. Not causing unneeded stress to pregnant women which can directly effect those babies just because it makes them feel better. I say GET OVER YOURSELF!!!! No one has the right to inflict that kind of pain on another person. These are the mother's of their children and in 90% of the cases the person they swore to love, honor and cherish. Like I said before, it's a lack of respect and consideration. And it's crap that it can be excused away so carelessly.

This was one of the responses I got...

Preach on Sista!! I totally agree and that was very well said. I can only PRAY that **** is half the father I had growing up. Oh and the alcohal thing, dont even get me started! I think most of you know my situation with the DUI **** just got. I have had ONE glass of wine in the past eight months and believe me, he hasnt cut back for my sake. Why should HE have to suffer because I cant drink? BECAUSE IM BARING YOUR CHILD.

To which I responded...

I know - why should our lifestyles be the only ones to change?! Like I said, especially with the planned pregnancies - we had someone their with us making the decision and making the baby. I don't remember myself lying in bed with a turkey baster and a vial of his semen. He was there too and needs to be a part of this pregnancy!

_________________________________

Ladies are you with me?! I swear I want to conduct a study. To somehow get guys who have done this sort of thing (walking out on pregnant wife/girlfriend, going out 'til all hours, etc) and have them answer anonymously on why they did what they did, what drove them, did they consider the women's feelings or consider the affect on the baby, did it make them happy, did they regret it, did it work out, etc. I picture myself like Ashley Judd's character in "Someone Like You" who forms her opinnion of why men cheat and leave and writes articles on the subject. I could go on Oprah with my findings. It would give some meaning to having gone through that. Where can I go about something like that? Where can I post an online survery to get men to respond to this subject? It's very interesting to me why they think they can just do this to people when they are most vulnerable.

Oh, well...maybe crusading for pregnant women - nah, ALL women everywhere will have to wait 'til another day. For now, I've got work to do.

Hi y'all...

I know I haven't posted forever but nothing really to report. I don't go back to doc 'til the 19th. Someone was asking about movement - NO, NONE, ZIPPO, ZILCH!!! That I recognize anyway. They say it can be mistaken for gas. Well then how do I know if I actually have gas or it's the baby moving?! It's driving me absolutely crazy. I keep saying I know in 3 months I'll be begging it to stop kicking but com'on...just one kick for momma. Stand up for yourself, throw a tantrum - let me know you are there!!!

We are having a...

...we still don't know.  For sure that is.  We had 2 ultrasounds today, the baby's legs were crossed the whole time so she couldn't get a look.  On the abdominal ultrasound she said she couldn't even give a guess at all but she'd try to see better on the vaginal one.  Baby's legs were still crossed.  However, she did then say about 3 times if she'd have to guess she'd guess girl because she didn't see anything dangling.  But since she really couldn't get in there, there is always the possibility of a surprise when the legs are open.  I took encouragement from that though.

The crappy thing is we won't be having another ultrasound for 2 months.  Either Ken AND I misunderstood last time or she is changing her tune.  We both heard her say I'd be seen every two weeks with ultrasounds every time.  Now she says to come back in a month and won't do another ultrasound 'til the time after that.  At that time they will be re-measuring my cervix and re-checking the baby's heart.  Nothing is wrong, they just couldn't get a good angle to see all 4 chambers of the heart.  The heart rate this time was 146.  I'm choosing to believe that is a sleeping or low activity heart rate because this just going to be a girl. 

The baby is laying what they transversely.  So her (yes, her) head is on my left side, is laying across to where her butt and feet are on my right.  That makes sense to me because a lot of times my stomach feels harder in those places and I figured it was baby there.  I still haven't had any definite movement though.  I think I may have felt a flutter or two but no definite bumps or kicks.  The next 3 weeks or so I really should.

I gained 2 lbs so I am almost back up to where I started.  I think a 1/2 lb off still.  So, that is still no weight gain.  I can handle that.  The baby is not losing out.  She measured at 7 oz with a due date of 12/28 which is right in where they've been saying all along.  I know the gaining will start eventually but I can take some comfort that with no gain yet maybe I keep that in range and not become a huge heffer. 

Otherwise, I am doing fine.  Everything is intact.  If you want me to quote the doctor she says, "everything feels nice and tight" - but that just sounds weird!!!  I think that is why she is going to 1 month checks now because I'm doing so well.  Her exact words were, "I think we can go with a month", so that seems like it's change from what she thought we'd need to do.  But that's ok.  Even though I was set to have another ultrasound in just 2 weeks, I'm glad everything is going well. 

We do have more ultrasound pictures, I swear I will get them up on here soon.  I don't think about it again 'til it's time to get more pictures.



 

 

I slept for 3 YEARS yesterday...

I know they say you can be more tired when you are pregnant but man I didn't think I could sleep for 3 straight years at one time.  No kidding I was watching "I Love the 90's" on VH1, when I fell asleep it was 1994 and when I woke up it was 1997!  You'd think I'd be completely rested after that but I was still tired the rest of the night.  HAHAHA. 
  
 

I guess I'm a stinkin' drunk...

Ken and I went to a friend's birthday party Saturday night and as soon as we walked away from the bar with his pitcher of beer and my pitcher of water (ha), two people made comments to my husband to make sure that I don't drink tonight.  I laughed it off.  Then later Ken asked me to hold his glass for something and as soon as I had it in my hand one of those people from before was standing there and Ken says to them that I am drinking.  They were like "Ken, you gotta watch her".  He was joking and they were joking but I was offended both times it was said.  It implied that I wouldn't take care of my baby on my own and not drink - that I would need to have someone stop me from drinking.  I told Ken to knock it off because I was offended by it and he said I was over-reacting.  Most be those hormones everybody insists are raging inside me (another pet peeve).  Anyway, he went on to say that he knows lots of people who joke to pregnant women about not drinking.  I'm like, "WHY?!".  I don't get the joke.  I don't think it's funny, like I said, to imply that I wouldn't do the right thing all on my own.
 

Revised...Due Date Ticker

I took the ticker out of my profile because since it was so long it moved my profile, recent blogs (posts) and archived blogs (posts) down to the very bottom and I didn't like that. I wanted it back up along the side were it is. So, if you want to see the ticker you'll have to click on the Due Date Ticker in either recent blogs or July archives.

Thanks.

Due Date Ticker

I've added a due date ticker to this site. I couldn't figure out how to get it to show all the time so it's under my profile. If you click there (to the right under my name), it should have the updated how far along I am and how many days 'til baby is due.

It's also in this post so if you click on Due Date Ticker in the recent or archived posts, it should come up.

Pizza Hut from Hell

Ok this has absolutely nothing to do with the baby but I did say I would be using this site to vent my feelings...

Tonight we ordered pizza from Pizza Hut - the one at 16th Ave and 6th SW. We got the current special of a large specialty at regular price and a medium one topping for $1.99. We got a Super Supreme but without onions or green peppers and for the other we got 1/2 cheese and 1/2 sausage - and we also got breadsticks.

Pizza Hut is always screwing up our orders. In fact we had a $10.00 credit tonight when we ordered because they've screwed up in the past.

We were going to pick it up but a few minutes after we ordered they called back and said there was a 1/2 hour wait for large pizza crusts so I changed it to delivery and had them waive the deliver charge.

So the pizza gets here about a hour later (remember there was a wait for crust) and as soon as walked in the kitchen I smelled peppers. I opened the medium box that was supposed to be 1/2 cheese, 1/2 sausage and found 1/2 cheese and 1/2 pepperoni. I said then that I bet anything the specialty was wrong because I knew I was smelling peppers. I opened that box and sure enough it had green peppers.

Right away Ken called and they asked if we wanted them to make the right pizzas and send them out. I said no but I wanted my money back. Like I said, they are always messing up our orders. So then they offered us credit but we said we just wanted our money back. What good would another credit do us if they are just going to screw it up? So they said they'd bring it back.

We all went ahead and ate - picking off the green peppers - and then the guy showed up with the money. You aren't going to believe this...he was insisting that we give the pizza back. I came to the door and was like, "wait a minute...you screw it up and we have to give it back?". He goes, "if you want a refund after it's delivered, it's our policy to get the pizza back. We have to verify what was wrong". I go, "we told you on the phone what was wrong". He was still insisting on the pizza back. So, I picked up the large pizza and threw it at his feet on the ground outside our door. He picked it up, said thank you and started to walk away. Ahh but we hadn't given him the medium back yet so I grabbed it and threw it at him while he was walking away. It landed on the recycling bin and then slid down between it and the house. I saw him come back for it though as I shut the door.

We were in total shock. We were like, "if we'd taken the credit they wouldn't have wanted the pizza back?" and "the only reason we didn't want new pizzas is we had already waited an hour and it was 9:30 - 10:00 pm".

Ken decides to drive to that Pizza Hut because he had written a check and they gave us cash back. We were thinking they'd probably still run the check through. I guess he asked the guy the question about if we'd taken a credit we'd been able to keep the pizza and the guy goes, "yeah, because then we wouldn't be out the money". Ken goes, "you'd still be out the money when we used the credit!". DUH!!!! The guy just stood there. The guy also said, "well, I just needed to see the pizza". He never said that at all. He was insisting over and over that he needed the pizzas back.

While Ken was gone I looked outside to see if he had picked up the last pizza I threw at him and about 1/2 that (most the pepperoni half) was still laying in our driveway. Ken has that all in a gallon size baggie and it going to take it back tomorrow with a letter to management. After all they need to verify it was wrong and the wrong portion of the pizza was left in our driveway. We wouldn't want them to not follow policy of getting the pizza back!!!

Needless to say we are NEVER ordering from Pizza Hut again. After tonight, we are probably banned away!!!

BOYCOTT PIZZA HUT!!!!!!!!!!!!

lookin' good

Had my recheck appt today and everything is looking good. Everything is holding in place - not that we expected any different right now. It's will be the later, bigger months that really weigh on those stitches.

Now I will be seen every two weeks to check everything including having an ultrasound every two weeks. I said, "I guess we'll have plenty of ultrasound pictures!". The scheduling nurse goes, "yeah, probably more than actual baby pictures". So, if later the kid asks where all they're baby pictures are we can say, "what do you mean? What about all of these black and white pictures?". HAHA.

That will be exciting though getting to see the baby every two weeks. How many people get that chance? Wish it could be under better circumstances. I'll be 17 weeks at my next ultrasound so we are going to try to find out then if it's a boy or girl. It should be distinguishable if the baby cooperates. But if not then, we'll try the next time.

A part of me still wants to be surprised but Ken wants to know and we could use the advantage to prepare after the 10 year gab between babies.

The babies heart rate was 150 this time. I was a little disappointed if you believe the old wife's tale about higher heart rates being girls but 150 is still up there. Both my boys were never over 140. It depends on how active the baby is.

Speaking of active, I'm anxiously awaiting feeling the baby move. I should be able to between 15 - 17 weeks especially with this being my 3rd pregnancy. I'm at 15 weeks now so I keep thinking soon I should be feeling something.

I lost another 1/2 lb but I didn't get lectured this time. I was grateful for that. I don't know why I'm losing weight. I eat. I just don't eat all the time like I thought I would be by now. I don't have any increase in appetite at all. Actually I'm sicker this trimester than I was the 1st. I haven't thrown up but I've had several close calls. I am starting to have some cravings - over the weekend I wanted a big 'ole salad and this week it's strawberries and grapes. Seems like all I ate when I was pregnant with Brendon was Whoppers from BK. I craved olives with both boys! Still love olives.

Well, I guess that's it for now. I'm back to work tomorrow. It's been nice being off but I've also been bored too. Something tells me I won't be bored at work after being off a week.

I'll continue to post as stuff comes up. Feel free to check back whenever you like. There may be something new.

less of a pain...

My "butt" pain is much much better! The anesthesiologists called me again yesterday morning which I am really impressed with how much he has checked up on me. When I told him I was feeling better - no more pain in my hips and legs - just the tailbone he is almost positive it was a reaction to the medication. He said I could play it by ear on whether I wanted to be seen at the Pain Clinic on Tuesday but since I was feeling better they probably wouldn't do anything anyway. Now I'm just worried if I'll have to same reaction when they do the c-section because I'll have another spinal block then. I'm going to see if there is another medication they can use.

I'm glad I'm feeling better with that. I've had a lot of other pain though, the pressure. Last night it hurt to walk or even turn over in bed. I think that's just something I may have to deal with if I've been up for too long. I had to go to my baby's last baseball game today though!! (Don't even get me started on who SHOULD have been there but was playing kick ball instead!)

Hanging in there though...

pain in the butt...

Everything from the surgery is still going ok. Just like I said before, I start to fill pressure, like cramps, if I'm up too long.

Interesting thing started Wednesday night though...I started having a lot of pain at my tailbone and tingling throughout my butt and both legs. I called the anesthesiologist yesterday. He doesn't think it's anything they did during my spinal block because if they'd hit my spinal cord with the needle I would have felt it right away and screamed. If they'd hit a nerve, I'd only be having pain one side not both. So, he wanted to talk to the anesthesiologist who did my edidural about a year and a 1/2 ago when I was having this same type of pain and was going to call me on Friday.

He called back last night around 6:00 pm and wants me to call the Pain Clinic at St. Luke's today (Friday) and make an appt to see Dr. Sedlacek (the one who did my epidural last year) on Tuesday.

It could be one of two things. 1) The disc that was giving me trouble last year could be out due to the pregnancy. OR 2) the medication they gave me through the spinal block (litacane) could be causing the irritation. If it's the 2nd one, it will go away in a few days. If it's the disc then oh boy it's going to be a long pregnancy. I'm not even near my big months yet.

I don't know. It seems weird to me that all of a sudden it happened the same day I got the spinal block. I think that set it off but who knows. All I know is it hurts like crazy to sit or lay because I go numb but yet I'm supposed to be sitting or laying because of the cerclage. I can't win.

I'm supposed to get to lie around and do nothing right now and I can't even feel good about it. That's just not right!

Actually I slept much better last night. I didn't have the pain in my hips and legs but still right at the tailbone. I keep a steady dose of Tylenol going so hopefully it all goes away.