I had an eventful weekend. I had my 38th b-day on Saturday and my 11 year anniversary at PMX on Sunday. Someday I'll get them to cough up the birthday gift certificate they cheated me out of by hiring me the day after my birthday that first year!
38! I can't believe it. Climbing the hill to 40. I remember when I turned 30 - I was devasted. I had never been married at that point and had no prospects on the horizon. It was very hard on me. I don't know how I'll feel over the next couple years when 40 actually gets here but in the last 8 years since that devasting doomsday, I did get married, had another baby and am now getting divorced (whenever we finally file). Lots of changes.
As for work, I'm starting my 12th year in the same job. It doesn't seem like it either but when I think that Brendon & Dallas were just 2 and 1 when I started here that just blows my mind! They were just babies then...now they just act like babies...HA...just kidding.
I'd like to think I've grown up a lot in these 12 years. I've had to I guess. I never expected to be in my 12th year as a single parent either. That is the single most hardest job I'll ever have and I probably haven't always succeeded. Sometimes I feel like the decision to end my marriage has set me back several years. I was a home owner all on my own when I met Ken and that is gone. I also gave up the home we bought together. I'm renting again. I friend of mine, soon to be the same age as me, just bought her first home. I am very happy for her and at the same time very jealous. I miss having that security and knowing that I accomplished something.
Right now those accomplishments are that my kids are happy and healthy. We may not always have a lot but we have each other. I also have good friends and family. Sometimes I feel like I'll always be considered the "screw up" in my family but I know they love me and when push comes to shove we always come through for each other.
The same with my friends. I'm very thankful for the friendships in my life. I am still in denial that one is moving away but I'll always love her and treasure our friendship. She'll be back for me - how could she live without me?! HA.
Ok, enough reflecting...time to start living that 38th year and do it to the fullest!
LIVE...LAUGH...LOVE
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