it could only happen to me...

Recently when conversing with friends, it was said "it could only happen to so and so". Well, meet the next "so and so". Now sit right back and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip...(trip...as in fall...hmmm...interesting)...Christine, you may want to stop reading because it involves injury to a laptop which will send you running to hug yours the way any mother would when hearing children in peril stories...

So, early this morning I left for Charlotte, North Carolina on a business trip. This would not be the fun get away other trips have been where I go somewhere that I actually know someone and actually get to see more of the town I'm in that the hotel, the training site and the airport. No, due to the last minute rescheduling, I am going to training at the same time we have to process a payroll so I graciously agreed to hold up in my hotel room and pull all nighters when not in training to do the payroll. I got all the instructions on how to get logged in anticipating any possible connection problems and the laptop in question was placed in my care via a heavy, protective breifcase looking case (there are keywords in that sentence that will be important like "protective" for one).

Every thing was going fine...my flights went off without a hitch...neither of them too long...the connection in Atlanta went smoothly despite never having flown through there. My only complaint would have been that my carry on bag was so heavy because I decided to skip the laptop case and stick it in my own carry on (which is an oversized back pack really) so that I could also carry other typical carry on items...a change of clothes and hair essentials and sometimes a 2nd pair of shoes all in case your regular luggage gets lost. So, I was set...I only had one carry on instead of two, no travel snafus, life was good.

I really blame the ground transportation attendant (the bitch that she was) at the Charlotte/ Douglas airport for swinging the tide against me. She totally played me for a fool. It appeared as though you needed to talk to the attendant before getting a cab 'cept I couldn't see an opeing in her plexiglass fortress to speak through. I looked at her with longing eyes, "help me" my eyes cried. She pointed to the other side of the booth. "Oh, the window must be over here...how ever did I miss that", I asked myself. Alas no window but there was a handle. "Oh", I again told myself, "you must pull on this and a slot will open". No...the entire side of the booth opened exposing the wench for all to see. I kindly said, "I need a cab to Comfort Suites on University". The troll once again pointed, this time to a line that had seemed to form during our little dance of deception. "Oh"...you guessed it, I said to myself..."this line is for cabs going to my hotel. Why didn't I notice that before?". Ahhhh but no...this was yet another twist in this master tango she as teaching me. Stand in line and take the next cab that pulls into line! GOT IT!! Thank you so much for your help. Can't wait to come your way again. You KNOW they do that shit on purpose. She probably called all the other troll booth attendants laughing or told them back at the bat cave. BEOTCH!

So then I get a cab driver who doesn't know where he is going and $38.00 later (I don't know how many miles that is...once it hit $20.00 my mind went numb) I made it to my hotel.

So, then I'm checking into the suites (another keyword that will be important)...all and all still a good trip so far. And then it happened...my carry on bag that I had deemed to be obviously better than the protective case given to me proved to be too top heavy for sitting unattended on top of my other suitcase and then plummetted a good two feet to the ground! Remember that word protective and how I was not using the protective case (protection...always use protection)? Do you think laptop survived? Sort of. It's now paralyzed from the neck up. Ironically a labtop's brain is in the lower 1/2 (must be male) so I was lucky...it was not brain dead. It was just blind. The monitor was dead. I don't know if a white light came to guide it to heaven or not...I wish I had seen something like that, maybe it could have guided me through the two days worth of work I brought the laptop for.

There I was alone in the darkness. The abyss if you will (fave movie reference). I prayed to the computer gods that the next time I open the laptop "let there be light". I sat on my hotel bed opening and shuting the laptop like I was trying to catch the fridgerator light - if only I were fast enough (you know you've done it). Still nothing...did you know there probably aren't really any computer gods?

Not wanting to admit defeat...and by that I mean not wanting to call my company and confess..I called a local computer repair place. Because of course I would be able to hop into another $40 cab, get a new screen thingy and no one would be the wiser ('til I turned the bill in on my expense report that is. I wonder if I could put that under Entertainment..you're entertained so far aren't you?). The Geek Squad are the ones that diagnosed the laptop with the non-brain-deadedness..and that if I put the laptop on live support I should be able to get to my info. So, I went downstairs to the support center...I mean business center but I use the term loosely because it amounted to all of one computer for all guests to use. It was much like being sent to a county hospital because we had no insurance. I plugged their monitor into the laptop and there was sight again. Ahh, but this was only temporary and I didn't know if other patients would come in needing support or how long the visiting hours were.

After stablizing the patient, I finally contacted it's family (our IS dept) then waited with my own demerol drip for the impending doom...I mean response. I begged them for forgiveness and to tell me that all I had to do was just snap my fingers three times, turn a half circle to the right, hop on my left foot, do not pass Go, do not collect $200 and viola – it would be well again. The phone rang...it was his mommy. She wanted me to try twisting it's head a little and see if that helped. And I thought I was rough on the poor lad. But that treatment did not revive the patient. So, she told me someone (my boss, not my regular boss, but next step up boss) was brokering an online adoption of a new monitor. Ater the money was exchanged and the adoption papers faxed to me, I could hop in a cab and go pick up the 19 " newborn at Best Buy.

The newborn is working out fine. No sibling rivalry yet. The kicker is though I am left with the lofty task of getting both children home...er..ah...safely. Do you think the laptop will get a complex wrapped in dirty laundry stowed away in the luggage compartment whilst I cradle the newborn on my lab in the cabin of the plane? It's not like we'll be in first class.

First class...reminds me...suites...the Comfort Suites...should be all the comforts of home right?! Oh wait...I don't have a chauffuer or room service at home either and end up having pizza delivered too so nevermind - what was I thinking?!