Sunday, March 09, 2008

Day 9 - Things I Would Change About My "Self"

Yesterday I concentrated on changes to my body...Day 9's list is things I would change about me - emotionally, mentally, etc. If this ends up being a short list it doesn't necessarily mean I don't think I have much to change, it's because it's late on the 9th and I'd still like to get to bed.

1). I'm fine, how are you? - this is something I actually have been making a conscious effort on for a while. You know how when you run into someone whether it's at work, at a store, at the bank, whatever and they say "how are you?". What do you usually say? I found that my typical response was "fine" or "not too bad" and that was it. I never asked how they were. It's not that I don't care how they are or don't wish to know...I just geniunely don't think to recipricate the sentiment. Then I feel bad. I feel selfish. So, I have been trying to respond, "I'm fine, how are you?" or "not bad, and you?".

2). Don't be short - I'm not talking height...that would have been on yesterday's list. No, there are times when people who annoy the piss out of me and, therefore, already preset without prevocation, I am short with them.

3). Take an interest - along with #1, there are times people ask me what's new with me and I tell them. Then I walk away without ever asking them the same. I am interested in other people's lifes. I don't think I am a selfish person...again, I just don't think to ask. I feel bad about that. I care a lot about my family and friends and I should show more interest.

4). Reach out and touch someone - I need to call relatives that are in other states more. I hardly ever talk to my brother who lives in Wisconsin. I never call him and, in return, he never calls me. I only talk to my aunt in Missouri when something happens to my mother. I've been trying to keep in touch with Misti by phone, not just e-mail, since she moved - talked to her a couple hours today. I should do that with more people. I have free long distance - their is NO reason not to take advantage of that.

5). Stop being a "react first, think later" person - I have accomplished this in some areas of my life, albeit with some backsliding, but still need work in others. Like with my kids. I am not proud to say I am a yeller. Something happens and I yell (react) first, then feel really bad (think) later when I realize it wasn't that bad. Why is it I can tell other people it doesn't do any good to get stew about something when, in the end, the result will be the same but can't always do that myself?

6). Be more gracious - for some reason it's really hard for me to say "thank you" and saying "I'm sorry" is virtually impossible. It's gotten me a bad rap in my family too. When someone does something nice or even goes so far as to save my ass, I am extremely thankful and I want to tell them so but I get a mental block and as much as I want to say the words, I physically cannot say them. I have no idea why.

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