5 steps forward and 3 steps back...

So my last post was about my diet and exercise program starting again. If it were a sequal it would be called Lori's Quest part XXXIV but we won't go there. Great news though...I lost 5 lbs in 4 days last week. Ooh, what a feeling!!! Of course I gained back 3 lbs at my brother's wedding over the weekend. But at least I didn't gain back all of it so I am at a good place to pick right back up today.

The workout dvd I am doing was (3) stages...Start It Up, Ramp It Up, and Burn It Up. I think your are really only supposed to do the first stage for a 3 or 4 days and then move on the the next. I am not ready for that...I think one more week for Start It Up and I'll be ready to move on to Ramp It Up. That also means going from a 25 minute work out to a 45 minutes every day. I'll have to see if my girls at work want to commit that much time or if I'll have to start doing that one at home. My problem is actually doing it at home though. At work, others are heading to work out at the same time and that drives me to stick with it and not just stay in bed longer.

But right now I gotta "pop the seal". This (3) 32 oz containers of water a day is really exercising my bladder muscles. So, see this regime is truly a total body work out.

What I ate before my diet started...

I am once again starting a diet and exercise regime on Monday so what did I manage to ate this last day before hell week...Long John Silvers (twice over the weekend no less) and almost an entire box of Little Debbie chocolate chip muffins (I ate two of them last night so I technically didn't eat the whole box in one day. I love technicalities!)

It's no wonder I need to go on a diet! The fear of hitting the big (no pun intended) 2 0 0 is what's driving me! I have never been over that without being pregnant so drastic times call for drastic measures. I am dangerously close that that danger zone. Normally I would never allude to being anywhere near that size but I can't hide from it anymore. Turning the other cheek (or double chin as the case may be) is what got me to this point.

I want to be healthier, to feel better. I want to have more energy to do more with my 3 year old. I don't want to me horrified when I look in the mirror or see pictures of myself. And of course I want to be more attractive too. I know Mr. Right should love me for who I am no matter what size I am but let's be honest, that isn't happening. And if I am honest with myself, I don't give larger men a chance so why would I expect a man to do it for me.

So, tomorrow is the dawn of a new day. I've got people at work to work out with so I really hope they help me stick with it. After the first few days, you are so drained that it's so easy to cop out. One day of copping out leads to another and another and before you know it, you never work out at all anymore. And you are embarrassed so you try to look really busy or make sure you don't leave your office when you know the others are working out so that you don't have to face them. It's a vicious cycle and it's stupid. Just work out! Just do it! It's not the end of the world. Eventually you do feel better for doing it. Just do it stupid! Oops - sorry lost in some inner dialogue there!!

Ok then, tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life! (I know, I know it's the first day of the rest of my life no matter if I diet or not but work with me here!)

First Aid or Boy Scout Survival Skills...I'm not sure which...

So, the big boys were babysitting the other night while I went to a Pampered Chef party. I called home about 2 1/2 hours in to say I would be home in about a 1/2 hour or so. The report was fine except they did tell me that Jace had been twirling around, hit his head on the footstool and had a big bump. I was like, "is he ok now"..."yes"..."ok, I'll be home soon".

When I got home Jace came running into my arms, shouting "MOMMY!!!". After we sat down and I noticed the black & blue goose egg on his forehead, I said, "man, you really do have a big bump there, don't ya?". That's when Brendon told me they iced it down with...wait for it...A POPSICLE (a Flavor-Ice) and then Brendon ate the popsicle.

That's using your brain there. I'd say Boy Scout survival skills if Brendon had actually done more in Boy Scouts then simply tag along for a camping weekend with a friend who was a scout. Must have learned a lot in the one weekend.

In Loving Memory...

I have been avoiding this. I mean I have had blogger's block for a while now but I have especially been avoiding writing about my mother, for I knew I would simply break down.

Perhaps some of you read my posts last April when after a series of hospital stays my mother was considering stopping dialysis and what that meant as far as what she would face and how much time she would have. Well, she got stronger and decided to give it another go. Although she had some good days, she never got better. On top of everything else her body had endured, she had also been diagnosed with COPD (Chronic Obstructive Pulmanary Disease). It was the not being able to breath and struggling for every breath that took her to the hospital several more times over the following months. Each visit usually a week's stay at a time.

She had spent the last week of July in and by August 4th was begging to be taken back in for she absolutely could not breath. It was then that she finally started to express to her doctors what she previously had only shared with the family, that she was done. She didn't want to live with it all any longer. It was at this same time that her doctors began to share with us that there was nothing more medically they could do for her. She was only going to get worse and she couldn't have taken what worse had in store. Throughout that week she continued to express what she wanted and with her blessing, I set up a meeting with the family and her doctor to make it official.

That meeting was supposed to take place on Saturday, August 9th, but she unexplicably took a turn for the worse Thursday night into Friday morning. I spoke to her doctor that morning and it didn't look good. My boys were going to be gone for the weekend and I had a feeling that if I waited out the weekend for them to see her again it would be too late, so I took them up Friday afternoon. To say we all were shocked by her condition when we arrived would be an understatement. She could barely speak but if we got close enough she could recognize us. After not to long, I sent my boys down to the waiting room and I preceeding to tell my mother it was ok for her to let go that we'd all be ok. I told her I loved her and she said, "I love you too baby". That was our goodbye. She never said another actual word, to me, that is. She did, the next day though, lean up as much as she could toward me when I leaned in to kiss her and kissed me back.

I called my brother after I left the hospital and said the way she looked I didn't think she would make it though the night. He said, "I know. That's what I felt when I was there this morning". I spoke to her doctor at 4:00 pm that afternoon and the decision was made to stop all treatment and just do what they could to keep her comfortable until the end. He felt she wouldn't have more than 5 days at that point. We decided to keep the meeting we had scheduled so that we could discuss what this time would entail.

Her twin sister and her husband were already on their way from Missouri. My brother in Wisconsin wasn't coming 'til the morning, in time for the meeting, so I called him and told him if he wanted any chance of saying good-bye, he should come now. He was here within a couple hours when it should have taken him more like 3 (sshhh, don't tell the state police that).

I had made plans that night to have dinner with friends as one friend who had moved away a couple years ago was going to be in town and I made the decision to go ahead with those plans. I felt guilty but I knew my mother and I had had our good-byes.

At the meeting the next morning, her doctor said he felt we were talking a matter of hours rather than days. 3 days at the most. Her room that day was filled with family. Her twin, all three of her children and significant others, a nephew (her twin's son) and two of her granddaughters came for a while too. It was hard just sitting there watching her. Our hearts stopping every time there was a long pause between her breathes. Each time thinking to ourselves, "was that it? Was that her last?" Excruciating.

My aunt stayed as long as she possibly could. She had said, "I was with her when she came into this world, it's only right that I'm with her when she goes". Her heart so obviously breaking.

By Sunday afternoon mom was in a coma. On Saturday she had startled and opened her eyes at just about every sound. A simple cough or sneeze...or the loud boom of an oxgen tank being knocked over to crash to the tile floor not once but twice (I won't name names but they know who they are - hehe). When she did open her eyes, there wasn't much recognition. She mainly stared at the ceiling. We chose to believe she was seeing the lights and sights of heaven then. Seeing those who were waiting there for her. The only time she spoke was to tell her sister she would see her in heaven, told my brother we were all going to heaven, and asked for my dad.

All of that was gone late Sunday and we really thought she would go that day since it was 21 years to the day since my dad had passed away. We really thought she was writing her own history there by holding out for the anniversary of his death, but Sunday came and went. My aunt and cousin went on home to Missouri that evening knowing now she essentially was gone to us and felt comfortable knowing she knew they had been there and were ok with that.

Sunday turned into Monday and Monday turned into Tuesday. We had been taking shifts. Sometimes we all were there, sometimes only a couple of us were there but someone was with her all the time. At least two of us stayed each night. The accommodations weren't exactly 4 Star - unless it's typical to tip over backward while trying to sleep in a crappy recliner at a 4 Star hotel...somehow I doubt it. But it didn't matter - we wanted to be with her.

By Wednesday we were asking ourselves what she could be holding on for. The hospice nurses we so great. They answered all our questions, told us what to expect and ease our fears and concerns as best they could. That day they encouraged us to start leaving her alone for longer periods of time. That's it's possible she could be waiting 'til people weren't there. Whether it was to spare us or to just go on her own. So, we all left at noon that day. Again, each of us saying goodbye. After everyone else had left the room, I leaned directly to her ear and said, "you go ahead and go now mom, we love you".

No one went back up 'til about 7:30 pm that night. I had actually taken Jace to the pool that night since I felt I had been neglecting him and shuffling him around at all hours of the night so that I could go back up to the hospital to spend the night. I was considering not going back up that night. I had stayed every other night so I was kicking around the idea of sleeping in my own bed that night and going up after I took Brendon to freshman orientation that next morning. I had spoken to my brothers at 8:00 pm and there was no change.

At about 9:45 pm, I was still debating what I was going to do when the phone rang...it was my brother. He asked me if I was planning on coming back up. I said I hadn't decided yet and he proceeded to tell me she had just vomited some sort of black substance and was not breathing well since. The nurses were cleaning her up but it didn't look good. I said I would change my clothes and be right there. I went down stairs and told the big boys that grandma had taken a turn for the worse and that I needed to go, I grabbed some clothes from the laundry room, went to my room and changed, I doubled checked my bag I had been lugging back and forth since I planned on being there through the night now, and was grabbing my shoes when the phone rang again. It was my brother telling me she was gone. 10:05 pm, Wednesday, August 13, 2008...she was gone.

I can't tell you how upsetting it was that after being there almost every moment and if I hadn't been selfishly thinking of taking the night off that night, I would have been back to the hospital before all this happened, how upsetting it was that when the end did come - I wasn't there. My pain for myself turned to heartache for my brother that he had to go through it alone. But you know, I think she planned it that way, that she waited 'til the oldest and seemingly the strongest was there and spared the others. I know that is a hard position to put my brother in but I think she felt safe there with the person who always took care of her. And that's not to say others haven't been there for her, but my brother did shoulder the brunt more than most.

The next few days were a blur. Finalizing funeral arrangements which included a visitation service here in town as well as a visitation and funeral in her home town in Missouri. Then she was buried not far from there in a family cemetery next to my dad. 21 years and 3 days - they were together again.

We came back to Iowa the same day and that was one of the hardest things to do...to leave her there...to come home without her. We always went to Missouri as a family and came home as a family. But like I've told friends, I know she is where she wants to be. I know I’ll go through the same struggle that I did when my dad died that there is no grave I can visit regularly. I can’t put flowers on her grave when I am thinking of her. That will be hard.

When I think about being at her house, I just keep expecting her to come walking out from the bedroom or the bathroom. I really just keep expecting this to have all been a bad dream, another time when she thought about stopping dialysis but she changed her mind again and is really still with us.

I knew this would be the hardest part…going on with out her. I can’t just pick up the phone and call her to be a sounding board and then get mad at her when she finds the negative in what I’m saying. That was how we were.

My emotions have been all over the place. Like when a friend said, "My heart just goes out to you. I’m not even going to tell you all the old clichés that you don’t want to hear cause I know it won’t do any good when I know that all you want is your mom". My response was, "You are right (and it made me chuckle) that everyone says the same thing…that she is at peace or not hurting anymore or in a better place…and I know all of that in my head…it’s just hard for my heart to accept. It was her choice to stop her dialysis and I told her several times it was ok to let go. And it was, I knew this is what she wanted, to not be in pain anymore…I knew all along I would just be strong for her and help her let go and deal with my emotions when she was gone and that’s what I’m trying to do".

Yesterday was one of my worst days and I broke down in an e-mail to another friend... "People say I have been so strong, stronger than they would be if they lost their mother and then I feel guilty that my lack of breaking down in tears means I didn’t care. I feel guilty that I wasn’t always there for my mom and can never make that up to her. I wasn’t always kind to her or about her to others and I can’t take it back. I’m angry at people for asking me how I’m doing. It’s like they expect me to fall apart at that moment and spill my most inner thoughts and feelings and that just isn’t going to happen. I’m doing as well as can be expected and I don’t know what they want me to say. We are going to start packing up her belongings this weekend. I feel like this whole thing of finalizing her affairs is going to rip what is left of my family apart and through it all I just keep expecting it all to have been a bad dream. That she is at her house right now milling around, doing her laundry during the commercials of her soaps and if I were to walk in the door there’d she’d be still getting by. It constantly hits me like a tons of bricks that if I do walk in her house, she isn’t there and that I can’t pick up the phone and call her. I can’t get over the fact that one Friday night I was sitting with you all having drinks and the next Friday night I was greeting people at her visitation service. I know that it’s all still so new and that in time it will get better. I also knew all along that I would be strong for her to help her let go and then deal with my emotions afterward but I can’t shake the feel that we should have had more time. I don’t want to go back to work and be around a bunch of people. I am just not ready to go on without her."

I miss her so much!!!

You've Got A Lot If Ya Got Good Friends...

I never did post any pictures from Misti's b-day or my class reunion (all of which are courtesy of Christine since I no longer have a camera) - probably cuz I've had serious blogger's block recently - so here are a couple good ones of my great group of friends. I LOVE YOU GUYS!!

From left to right: Stacy, Camy, Christine,
ME, Misti, Stephanie
Misti and Camy's birthdays @ Casa las Glorias


Back row, left to right: Stephanie, Kelly, ME
Front row, left to right: Misty, Jeanne, Stacy
20 year class reunion at Cabo (not San Lucas)

Threatening to Call the Cops on Your Baby Daddy

We have this running joke that because I have (3) children with (2) different fathers that when the kids are away visting their fathers I'll say something like "all my baby daddies". One of my baby daddies has been spotty at best. He has been in their lives about 75 - 80% of the time and they are teenagers now. Some years more than others, some years not at all, in the last year or so more than most. Recently Dallas got into trouble when he was supposed to be staying at a friend's house and I got a phone call at 5:30 am from the police department to come get my kid. They were with a couple older boys who got caught throwing eggs off an overpass. I initially kept this information from his dad because I knew in my heart that he would overkill his punishment. I am the first to admit I am totally wishy washy when it comes to punishing my kids. I pretty much never follow through ever. I dished out a 2 week in house grounding and confiskated his cell phone. He served every bit of that punishment 'cept the weekend of his brother's state baseball tournament and then, at the end, I let him off a couple days early for good behavior because he had watched his little brother a lot during his sentence. Now, maybe that may not have been every parent's approach but I did, for the first time, follow through with a punishment.

When I finally told his dad, he was pissed that I had excluded him but said what's done is done. I felt completely justified in excluding him by telling myself that if he doesn't take an active participation in the day to day raising of the boys, then he doesn't get to dictate to me their punishment.

After the grounding, Dallas and his friend were allowed by me and the other mother to hang out together again. Sadly before long, the friend had an intrical part in brewing a feud amongst Dallas and another friend. One thing led to another and there was a rumble scheduled at the mall parking lot - ala the greasers and the soches rumble in the park in The Outsiders. That excalated into a 30 year old wanting to kick Dallas' ass - WAY out of hand and Dallas called his dad scared. We were able to sit both families down - Dallas and the kid he fought - and work things out and come to an understanding, which unfortunately brought to light that Dallas' one friend was very much to blame for what led to the fight but then left Dallas holding the bag to be the one to actually be in the fight. At that time, Dallas' dad was adament about the fact that Dallas should not see this kid anymore the rest of the summer.

I tended to agree that they needed a break too. That break only lasted a few days. My cave call. The kid who seems to have trouble follow him every where he goes chilled things out with the other kids he started the brew haha with so then at least when Dallas has this kid over, tentions in the neighborhood aren't bubbling to rumble status again. They all can co- exist. I kinda get the feeling that with possible banning of hanging out with particular kids, it's becoming that Dallas is the only one this kid has left.

So, Dallas and this friend have pretty much been inseperable for a week or so, all still unbeknowst to his dad. Then I got busted. Twice in that week or so that ran into his dad's best friend and this guy passed along the information to Dallas' dad. Usually the disturbing and "gotcha sucker"information flows the other way since Dallas' dad's best friend is married to one of my best friends. Being the one busted was new territory for me. I tried to blow it off that it wasn't big deal and I was handling things by them being at our house rather than them being at the friend's house where I can't keep an eye on them. Dallas' dad thought that only proved more why they shouldn't be around each other. I tried to avoid it we dropped it for the time being.

Last night Brendon & Dallas were staying at their dad's and their dad and I happen to both be at our class reunion. The boys called their dad and asked if they could go to a movie with the said friend. He told them, "NO F'N WAY!" and then said to me that they must be out of their minds asking him that. He has basically dug his heels in and he is bound and determined to keep them away from each other.

Fast forward to early this evening, Dallas' dad stops by our house in not a good state of mind following a break up with his girlfriend. He had some clothes in his car and was looking for a place to stay - he just wanted to talk to the boys quick. I said they were at his parent's (the boys' grandparent's) with his brother and their cousin. I didn't see the need to mention that the said friend was also with them. Regardles, he left in bad state of mind.

Maybe an hour later I get a call from him, he was now at the grandparent's house as well and starts screaming to me about, "what the fuck, didn't you think I would stop over here? I thought we agreed he was not supposed to be with _ _ _ _ period! Knowing he'd likely been drinking and he was pissed off at his girlfriend, I wasn't going to get into it with him so I said, "I'm not even going to discuss this with you". He said something to the effect of "I'm getting 'em out of here, they will be at your house!" and hung up on me.

At first I did nothing then it hit me that in his state of mind he does not need to be driving any where with our kids in the car. I called over there and told his dad to tell him that if he takes the boys I am going to call the cops. A drastic move but again, considering he likely had been drinking and his state of mind after breaking up with his girlfriend, I couldn't let him take off with them in the car. The fact that he doesn't have a driver's license and doesn't need to get into anymore trouble himself, it stopped him in his tracks.

I started to fume at his arrogance that he can dictate to me what I can or cannot allow Dallas to do. His fixation about keeping Dallas from this kid was so over the top. I get why...to quote the Dukes of Hazzard theme song, he has "been in trouble with the law since the day he was born"...and he wants to keep Dallas from going down that path.

Let's just delve into that a little bit. The boys' dad spent a lot of his youth in trouble with the law. He, his brother, and a whole group of their friends were commonly known amongst local law enforcement as "the brat pack". Theft was the name of their game and he has (3) felony theft convictions on his record. One of the those convictions wasn't even one of his "jobs" but since this group of friends were so tight, rather than nark on his friend to get himself out of trouble, he took the blame. Sentenced to 10 years in prison, suspended to 10 years of probation, which he served 5 of before getting off early for good behavior. All of this happen before we got together and before we had our kids - well, his probation was lefted when our oldest was a baby.

So, after this proclamation this evening forcing my hand, I thought to myself. Damn him! Did anyone ban him from this group of friends after all the trouble they got into? NO! In fact, the friend he took the blame for on the one theft charge is his best friend to this day! It's not fair to impose this on Dallas when no one forced it on him!

All that criminal activity happened like 18-20 years ago and he is finding out how much it still very much follows him even now. Him and his friend are both having trouble finding good jobs because of their criminal records. They have families now, are going to school, getting degrees and no one will give them a chance. It sucks because they are trying to rebuild their lives and are hitting a brick wall. I'm sure that is hard to handle, embarrassing even. So, you see...that is EXACTLY why he has taken this stance with Dallas and his friend getting into trouble. He is learning the hard way how living a fast and loose, exciting, thrill-seeking life of testing the limits and seeing what you can get away with can ruin your future and he doesn't want that to happen to Dallas. I get that, and it's certainly not what I want either, but he is punishing Dallas for the crimes he has committed rather than ones Dallas may never commit himself.

I jumped in the car and drove over there. He was still there, talking to his dad and brother in the parking lot. I walked right passed him, staight to Dallas and said friend and I told them we'll work this out, that his dad it going overkill and we're going to talk to him, make him see that you guys made a mistake with the egg thing and you are sorry, you just want the same shot at remaining friends and his dad and his friends got. I told said friend that he needed to realize what this is costing Dallas for Dallas to still want to be his friend. That I think he is a good kid but the only way this appealing to Dallas' dad is going to work is if they both truly are sorry and are going to do better from now on.

From there we went to the parking lot to talk to his dad. I said all this stuff to him...that I get why he is trying to protect him but is going about it wrong, that no one kept him from his best friend with all the trouble that they got into and that's all these boys want is a chance to prove they are sorry and that they've learned from it and to still be friends. He got it - he agreed. He apoligzed to the friend for being so hard on him (apparently he had cornered him before I got there and laid into him about being a troublemaker). We both told the boys that ok we are putting our trust in them to do the right thing. Fun is fun but you can't continue to cross that line. I said to think of diappointing us in the same light they consider their friendship and not to let us down. I made sure to let Dallas know that I didn't like cutting his dad out of being able to parent him and to not let me regret going to bat for him.

We stuck around for another couple hours the younger boys and the fathers playing football, wrestling, having races around the building and when we got ready to leave baby daddy apologized to me as well. That's was amazing! All any parent can hope is that they've handled a situation correctly, in their child's best interest, and that it all turns out the best way possible. That will remain to be seen over time. Obviously I don't think Dallas will always be an angel now, I can only hope things will turn out the best possible way.

At least someone appreciates them...

Last night Jace & I were lying in bed saying our good-nights (yes, I know I need to get him back in his own bed again) and, at one point, he was on his stomach facing away from me but reached out to touch me and said, "I love you mom". Well, since he wasn't looking were he was reaching, he actually put his hand on and kinda patted my boob. He moved his hand and I tried not to laugh but then he put it back on my boob, patted it again, and said, "I love your boobies mom". Like I said, at least someone appreciates them!

Twice Baked Tuna Casserole

Who doesn't like a good tuna casserole? This one looks especially good because there is not one pea in the recipe. That's MY kind of tuna casserole.

Twice Baked Tuna Casserole

2 packages Ramen noodles, any flavor, with seasoning packets
2 cans tuna, drained
1 cup cheese
1/2 chopped onion
1 cup crushed potato chips

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Cook noodles in water according to directions and drain. Season with 1 seasoning packet.

Mix tuna, cheese, onion and noodles together in a small casserole dish and bake 15 - 20 minutes.

Sprinkle chips over top and bake 15 minutes more.

Makes 2 - 4 servings.

Continued Self-Improvement

I once wrote about how I was trying to make a conscious effort when asked "how are you?" to not only respond with a "fine" or "not too bad" but also to inquire as to how that person is doing as well...give 'em a "blank blank...and how about you?".

I've noticed recently when asked a yes or no question that my response often is "yep". Even in professional situations. I've begun to think this is not only unprofessional but bordering on hick as well.

So, in the pursuit of continual self-improve, I have decided to now make a conscious effort to try to respond with a full, solid, affirmative "yes".

Ah, but only if "yes" if the appropriate response. I may have been known once in my life as a girl who never says no but I made that particular self-improvement a LONG time ago!

Hey Hawks Let's F I G H T..

I was at the chiropractor's today...one of my 3 visits a week still trying to recover from my car accident...and while I was hooked up to electro-therpy I heard the office staff and one of the doctor's talking about that rituals were performed in high school when girls made the squad. For example, one of the girls talking went to my school and she was saying how at our school, the current senior cheerleaders would kidnap the girls who made it at like 4:00 am, make them dress in all mis-matching, crazy clothing, crazier make-up and hair, take them out to breakfast looking like that, make them perform the try-out dance routine in public somewhere and then make them go to school all day like that.

The lady doctor said they weren't that bad at her school put one time they took them and made them do the school fight song routine in the principal's front yard early in the morning. That lead me to start reciting our school's fight song in my head. The girl that also went to my school stated that she still remembers the fight song and routine. She started performing it and I listened closely to see if she had in fact remembered all the words. After she was done and they were amazed she still knew it, she goes, "go ask Lori if she remembers it, she was a cheerleader too". Before the other girl even got half way too me I said, "I was following along in my head". They laughed.

So, in honor of that fight song, and the most appropriate fact that my 20 year class reunion is in two weeks...I bring you...in school colors no less...

The Prairie Fight Song

Come on boys, onward go, we will concur the foe with our team from Prairie High.

With our coach, team, spirit that's keen and our colors flying high.

We will fight 'til the finish, defeat or victory.

And give our hearts to F-I-G-H-T.

Hey...Hawks...let's...FIGHT...

Raise the score, hear them cheering for more,

As we win fame for Prairie High.

HOO-RA...HOO-RAY

Prairie Hawks will lead the way.

Come on boys, whatta say, we're gonna win today.

(start over again...)

Come on boys, onward go, we will concur the foe with our team from Prairie High.

With our coach, team, spirit that's keen and our colors flying high.

We will fight 'til the finish, defeat or victory.

And give our hearts to F-I-G-H-T.

(and so on and so on)

Peach Treats

Thought we'd mix it up and go for a dessert recipe. Yes, you heard right...a dessert actually made with Ramen noodles.

Peach Treats

1 cup cream
1 small can peaches, drain and reserve juice
1/2 cup peach juice (from the can)
1/4 cup brown sugar
1 package Ramen noodles, any flavor, crushed (save seasoning packet for another use)
1/2 cup crushed frosted flakes

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

In a small casserole dish, mix cream, peaches, peach juice, and brown sugar.

Add crushed noodles, making sure they are completely covered by cream mixture.

Bake 5 minutes. Sprinkle frosted flakes over top and bake 5 minutes more.

Makes 2 servings.

Managing My Time

There is a railroad track very near my work and I can't begin to count how many times I've gotten stuck and that slow moving (if at all) sucker both on the way to and leaving work - and it's always when I'm already running late. It drives me crazy how long they hold up traffic. Don't they know people are late for work?! Anyway, this morning I was intitially agitated and irritated but then I decided to make good use of the time I'd be sitting there waiting, and waiting, and waiting. What did I do? Why I painted my nails of course!

I had just thrown the bottle of polish in my purse on the way out the door in order to touch up my toes as I am wearing sandals today. Before you get a mental picture...no, it was not my toes that I painted while waiting on the train - it was my fingernails. But I completed the last nail and was closing the bottle as the last car crossed the tracks. Perfect timing!

Hey - at least I didn't paint them while actually driving!! This way I also didn't take away from any of my many responsbilities to paint them sitting at my desk after I punched in. HA!

Mutant Gene Discovered in California

I don't know if there are any current scientific studies going on regarding this or million dollar government grants to support it but I, myself, think there has to be a mutant gene rampant in California.

Case in point, look at the next three photos...


Same girl...different photos? Nope!

Girl #1 is Kristin from Laguna Beach, Seasons 1 & 2
Girl #2 is Chrissy from Laguna Beach, Season 4 - otherwise known as Newport Harbor
Girl #3 or Morgan from NBC's Baby Borrowers

Ahh...but all (3) are from California and look VERY, VERY, VERY much alike. It must be a mutant gene ! Or cloning!

(On a side note, anyone with teenagers should have them watch Baby Borrowers. They took (5) teenage couples and put them on a cul-de-sac, each having a home to maintain and they spend a few weeks - days at a time - working and caring for babies (under 1 year), toddlers, pre-teens, teenagers, and finally the elderly. This is a huge reality check for these couple who think they are ready for a family of their own and adult responsibility. It airs on NBC on Wednesday nights - encore of the pilot this coming Wednesday, July 9 - and you can also catch re-runs on the WE network - check your local listings.)

All-American Ramen

It struck me that I should have posted something more patriotic on the 4th of July rather than Chinese fair. I flipped through the book and low and behold...there it was...

All-American Ramen

2 packages ramen noodles, any flavor, with seasoning packets
1/4 cup chopped onion
4 hot dogs, sliced
1 cup grated cheddar cheese

Cook noodles in water according to package directions and drain. Add seasoning packets.

In a frying pan, saute onion and hot dogs together until heated through. Add hot dog mixture to noodles.

Add cheese and stir until melted.

Makes 2 - 4 servings.

(something tells me a little ketchup added to this one would be good too)

Egg Drop Soup

This used to be my favorite soup at my favorite Chinese restaurant until they changed the way they make it and it's soooo bland now I can't stand it. This seems worth of a shot.

Egg Drop Soup

2 cups water
2 eggs, beaten
1/4 cup diced onion
1/4 cup diced celery
1/4 cup diced green bell pepper
1 package chicken ramen noodles, with seasoning packet

In a saucepan, bring water to boiling and add seasoning packet, eggs, and vegetables.

Stir constantly until eggs look done. Simmer 5 minutes.

Add noodles and cook 3 - 5 minutes more, or until noodles or tender.

Makes 2 servings.

Cheeseburger Ramen (Review)

Ok- I finally tried the Cheeseburger Ramen and in my opinion it needed a little tweeking. The first thing I would do is NOT over cook the noodles - they were a little mushy. Then I did add some minched onion when I was browning the hamburger - that was a nice addition. The final tweek that made all the difference was that I mixed in some ketchup when I began eating. All in all, it was ok. I think I would have liked it more if I hadn't over cooked the noodles.

Cheeseburger Ramen

1/2 pound ground beef
1 package beef ramen noodles, with seasoning packet
1 cup grated chedder cheese
1 tomato, diced (optional and minus the salmonella)


In a frying pan, brown and drain ground beef. Season to taste with 1/2 the seasoning packet.

Cook noodles in water according to package directions and drain.

Add beef and cheese to noodles and stir until cheese is melted.

Add tomatoes, if desired.

Makes 2 servings.

Brats 'n' Noodles

In honor of summer and the ad campaign, "CHARLIE MURPHY'S COOKING JOHNSONVILLE BRATS!!!!"...(Who all remembers that one?)...I bring you...

Brats 'n' Noodles

2 packages ramen noodles, any flavor, with seasoning packets
4 bratwursts or cheddarwursts, sliced

Boil noodles and brats together. Drain and stir in seasoning packets.

Makes 2 - 4 servings.


Since I'm a person who likes my brats DONE - I probably would grill them then cut them up and add them to the already cooked noodles then stir in the seasoning packets. But that's just me.

x-rays are the window to the soul...

I've decided x-rays tell way more about you then you ever thought they could or would for that matter.

Case in point:

1) A few years back I was having some x-rays done on my bladder. I was really nervous all during the testing because I was extremely gasy that day. While I was laying on the table I kept trying to hold back anything from escaping - noticeably anyway. I totally squeaked (no pun intended) by the exam without embarrassing myself. I was in the clear. When the doctor and I were going over the x-rays, he points out all these black areas in my mid-section and calmly states, "this is all gas". Here I thought nobody would ever know. I was completely mortified!

Another case in point:

2) Today I was at the chiropractor's getting x-rays because I was in a car accident last week. As he is reviewing my x-rays and making all of his little marking on them, he calmly states, "it (the collision) didn't rock your IUD loose, so you are good there" . At first it didn't register what he had said, then I looked at the x-ray and sure enough there was my IUD glowing inside my uterus. Again, mortified!

Usually your choice of birth control is a private thing but not when x-rays are the window to the soul.

Mexican (Ramen) Casserole

Now this one sounds really good! Since my life seems to be fast food and pizza orders, I haven't tried any of these yet. Please let me know if you do and how they were.

Mexican Casserole

2 packages chicken mushroom ramen noodles, with seasoning packets
1 cup cubed Montery Jack cheese
1/2 cup diced green chiles
1/4 cup sliced black olives
1 cup sour cream
1 cup grated cheddar cheese
1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese
1/2 cup crushed corn chips

Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

Cook noodles in water according to package directions; rinse with cold water. Combine noodles, seasoning packets, Montery Jack chesse, chiles, and olives. Stir in sour cream. Spoon noodle mixture into a greased casserole dish. Sprinke with remaining cheeses and chips. Bake 20 minutes, or until brown and bubbly.

Makes 2 - 4 servings.

The Measure of a TEAM (tales from the state baseball tournament)

I was inspired to write this (below) this morning while still at the state baseball tournament when I was none too pleased with what I saw as a serious lack of support or empathy when an error was made that ended the game and the team's chances of moving on the championship bracket. The thing is the error probably would not have stopped the winning score anyway. The kid, even if he had scooped up the ball, would have had to have thrown home from 2nd when the winning run was already on his way there. None the less, the kid felt horrible! He cried, put his hat over his face, was the first out of the duggout and sat alone with his held hung down in shame. I only saw one kid, who isn't even a regular on the team, and only a couple parents other than his own tell him it was ok and it wasn't his fault. All the other players had scowls on their faces and never approached the kid who felt he'd ruined their season. That being said, I give you...

The Measure of a TEAM

The saying "there's no 'I' in TEAM" goes both ways.

No one player wins a game. No one player loses a game.

No one player is not without striking out. No one player is not without errors.

What's great is when no one player is not without heart.

A team that sticks together whether the smallest kid comes up short or the biggest hitter goes down swinging.

When it's "rally on 2, just like we always do".

When there's chatter in the outfield and cheers in the dugout.

When it's not only high fives and "hey kid, there you go".

But also a hand extended after loading the bases or missing a play.

Whether it ends the inning, ends the game, or ends the season.

When who's in the uniform is not just a player but a person.

When backing each other up happens on and off the field.

When it's not just about how much skill you have but how much character as well.

It's anybody's ballgame on any given day.

Any team can come back from behind.

Any team can have the most thrilling victories and yet the most heartbreaking losses.

It's a team with heart that knows that every player puts it all on the field.

It's the true measure of a TEAM who can leave it there.