Day 5's list is the things I wanted to be when I grew up. When thinking of this list I realized I spent a lot of time playing BY myself (not WITH myself) as a child. I had two older brothers who must not have ever had time for me. I don't think kids these days have to use their imaginations as much as I did.
1). Beautician - what little girl didn't? But did any of you actually cut a big hunk out of the bangs of all the neighborhood kids thinking you actually knew what you were doing? Yeah - my mom got a few angry phones calls on that one.
2). Car Hop - I would ride around my grandparents' concrete patio on roller skates taking fictional orders from invisible people and delivering imaginary food. I thought that would be the coolest job in the world.
3). Gymnast - I never took one gymnastics lesson but again, who didn't want to be Mary Lou Retten? All I really knew how to do was a cartwheel and a round off but I would do "floor exercise" in my front yard. If I fell, I simply pretended that was a planned part of the routine. A gold medal effort every time.
3). School teacher - a tv tray was my desk and all the Teen Beat pinup posters on the back of my bedroom door were my students. Oh, people like Ralph Macchio, John Schneider (as Bo Duke), John Stamos, Shaun Cassidy, probably even Leif Garrett and those Menudo boys. They were good students - never talked back.
4). Travel Agent - not just you run of the mill, trips to Disney World travel agent. No, I used my National Geographic countries of the world card index files to book trips. I cut out slips of paper, made spaces to fill in all the pertinent info like name, dates, cost, etc. I would unplug my pink princess phone in my room to use for all the incoming calls to my office. Same tv tray was again my desk. I would answer a call, fill out a slip and file it behind the card of the country they would be traveling to.
5). Journalist - this only was a thought because of how much I like to write. I only took one journalism class in high school and never tried to write for the school paper because it was all a popularity contest anyway. I was more under-the-radar I guess. I did find out after high school that I poem a wrote for a classmate killed in car accident won a journalism award (as part of the article it accompanied). Too bad another classmate had laid claim that she had written the poem (she asked me to write it) and got credit for it.
6). Marine Biologist - this came from my love of killer whales. I think they are the coolest creature and I wanted to train them. A friend of mine has an uncle who was a trainer and worked with Shamu. OMG - that would be the ultimate! So, I seriously looked into this. I was going to start off at community college and then transfer to University of Southern California since they had a great Oceanography program. In the end, I chickened out. I didn't think I could hack the course study involved so I never tried. That could go on my list of regrets if I do one.
My actual job now that I'm all grown up (am I grown up?) is basically clerical (payroll)...see, all the travel agent detail worked to my advantage. But the best job of all (and it is a job)...MOM.
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
Day 4 - Boys Who Stole My Heart
Day 4's list is the boys/men who truly had my heart and by that I mean that when they dumped me, I became the psycho ex-girlfriend - just kidding - maybe - who's asking anyway...
1) Tom Titus - my first love, my first heartache, my first...well, you know. We "went together" off and on from 7th grade thu 11th grade. We finally just grew apart...when I started secretly seeing my boss at Hardee's.
2) Dave Yirkousky - my boss at Hardee's, the first "older" man (wait - possibly the ONLY older man). I was 16, he was 22 or 24, I can't remember now which. Yes, I know this relationship was highly inappropriate (did I mention he was married). He was totally gorgeous. Brown hair and full 70's mustache, muscles. Phew!
3). Chad Drexler - the first younger man (trend that didn't work out so well for me), an aspiring model. He was only a year younger than me. I went to his senior prom with him. Which probably made him BMOC (big man on campus) going with an older woman. BUT I had one of the most romantic moments of my life at that prom. We were dancing and the heel of my shoe kept slipping over a crack in the floor. He picked me up (bride over the threshold style) and carried me to another spot on the dance floor. People started clapping - it was very cool.
4). Chris Gahring - again a younger man but major HOTTIE to the maxx and he had a crotch rocket. I remember the first thing my friend and I noticed about him has his butt. I went out with his friend a couple times first and then decided I liked Chris more so I did the right thing and called it off with the friend. Then one night there was a knock on my door and it was Chris. Turned out he liked me too. We only dated for 3 months but it was a GREAT 3 months.
5). James Boyle - younger (see the trend?). Despite it not being the most stable of relationships (abusive ones never are), I was in love with James, I agreed to marry him. But he went away to school and didn't want me to come with him when all I wanted was us to be together - no matter where it was. I was crushed and during the seperation I fell for someone else.
6) Dave Boyle - I know, I know the name is no coincidence. Yes, I dated one brother and then the other. Not my proudest moments - especially when you try to explain to your boys how you dated their uncle and their dad. But the attraction was too strong for my weak soul. I couldn't stay away. We were together 3 years and had (2) great boys. BUT he left me for a 17 year old little chipee that he worked with.
I know I should be listing my current husband but since we are getting divorced, I've had to take a long hard look at the reasons why I married him in the first place and I can't say I did it for the right reasons. I didn't love him the way he deserved to be loved. I don't think either of us did. It's too bad but what are you gonna do 'cept move on. And we did create the most precious little boy together.
1) Tom Titus - my first love, my first heartache, my first...well, you know. We "went together" off and on from 7th grade thu 11th grade. We finally just grew apart...when I started secretly seeing my boss at Hardee's.
2) Dave Yirkousky - my boss at Hardee's, the first "older" man (wait - possibly the ONLY older man). I was 16, he was 22 or 24, I can't remember now which. Yes, I know this relationship was highly inappropriate (did I mention he was married). He was totally gorgeous. Brown hair and full 70's mustache, muscles. Phew!
3). Chad Drexler - the first younger man (trend that didn't work out so well for me), an aspiring model. He was only a year younger than me. I went to his senior prom with him. Which probably made him BMOC (big man on campus) going with an older woman. BUT I had one of the most romantic moments of my life at that prom. We were dancing and the heel of my shoe kept slipping over a crack in the floor. He picked me up (bride over the threshold style) and carried me to another spot on the dance floor. People started clapping - it was very cool.
4). Chris Gahring - again a younger man but major HOTTIE to the maxx and he had a crotch rocket. I remember the first thing my friend and I noticed about him has his butt. I went out with his friend a couple times first and then decided I liked Chris more so I did the right thing and called it off with the friend. Then one night there was a knock on my door and it was Chris. Turned out he liked me too. We only dated for 3 months but it was a GREAT 3 months.
5). James Boyle - younger (see the trend?). Despite it not being the most stable of relationships (abusive ones never are), I was in love with James, I agreed to marry him. But he went away to school and didn't want me to come with him when all I wanted was us to be together - no matter where it was. I was crushed and during the seperation I fell for someone else.
6) Dave Boyle - I know, I know the name is no coincidence. Yes, I dated one brother and then the other. Not my proudest moments - especially when you try to explain to your boys how you dated their uncle and their dad. But the attraction was too strong for my weak soul. I couldn't stay away. We were together 3 years and had (2) great boys. BUT he left me for a 17 year old little chipee that he worked with.
I know I should be listing my current husband but since we are getting divorced, I've had to take a long hard look at the reasons why I married him in the first place and I can't say I did it for the right reasons. I didn't love him the way he deserved to be loved. I don't think either of us did. It's too bad but what are you gonna do 'cept move on. And we did create the most precious little boy together.
Monday, March 03, 2008
Day 3 - List of Friends I've Lost Track Of
Day 3's list is of friends I have lost track of over the years. The ones that I have no idea where they are now or how to ever reach them. If anyone knows the 2008 version of these people - let me know.
1). Angie Hickey Stegall - last heard of in Georgia I think...possibly northern Florida. Dad - Walt, mother - Judy (I believe), sister - Michaela. Married David Stegall but later divorced. Whole family was huge into car racing.
2). Angie Houlahan - moved to CR from Van Horne, IA.
3). Missy Gage Williams - last heard of in Phoenix, AZ. Mom - Sue (I believe), sister - Kim. I aways regret staying in to watch Fame (fave show at the time) instead of spending one more hour with her before she moved away.
4). Edith Smith - last heard of in Minnesota. Has a son. I'll never forget her mom made me eat peas. I mixed them with my cole slaw to get them down.
5). Debbie Benda - I actually saw her locally a few years back. Dad - Joe, mother - ahh I can't remember, but I do remember her mother had an entire room in her house filled with owls.
6). JoAnn Dighton Lane something - last heard of moving to Springfield, MO with husband, Joshua, and daughter, Samantha.
7). Jenni Wisehart - nothing to go on. I do, however, work with a lady who used to be married to her uncle I think it was.
8). Julie Meyer - she's mormon. Dad - Lyle, sister - Linda, brother - David, twin brother/sister. First person I met when moved to CR.
9). Brenda something - from Shellsburg, IA. Had a playhouse that looked like the Century 21 house. Used by Century 21 in a parade once.
10). Kim something - worked at Jacks Discount, dated Matt Kulish (may he rest in peace) in high school.
1). Angie Hickey Stegall - last heard of in Georgia I think...possibly northern Florida. Dad - Walt, mother - Judy (I believe), sister - Michaela. Married David Stegall but later divorced. Whole family was huge into car racing.
2). Angie Houlahan - moved to CR from Van Horne, IA.
3). Missy Gage Williams - last heard of in Phoenix, AZ. Mom - Sue (I believe), sister - Kim. I aways regret staying in to watch Fame (fave show at the time) instead of spending one more hour with her before she moved away.
4). Edith Smith - last heard of in Minnesota. Has a son. I'll never forget her mom made me eat peas. I mixed them with my cole slaw to get them down.
5). Debbie Benda - I actually saw her locally a few years back. Dad - Joe, mother - ahh I can't remember, but I do remember her mother had an entire room in her house filled with owls.
6). JoAnn Dighton Lane something - last heard of moving to Springfield, MO with husband, Joshua, and daughter, Samantha.
7). Jenni Wisehart - nothing to go on. I do, however, work with a lady who used to be married to her uncle I think it was.
8). Julie Meyer - she's mormon. Dad - Lyle, sister - Linda, brother - David, twin brother/sister. First person I met when moved to CR.
9). Brenda something - from Shellsburg, IA. Had a playhouse that looked like the Century 21 house. Used by Century 21 in a parade once.
10). Kim something - worked at Jacks Discount, dated Matt Kulish (may he rest in peace) in high school.
let's pretend it is still March 2nd...
Depending on how your day went, you may not want to still be on March 2nd but since I missed NaBloPoMo for that day, I need an extension. I have some good lists in mind for the rest of the month but for now I will just post my list for why I didn't post a list on March 2nd.
1) Spent all morning on Ebay.
(Thank God someone outbid me. $250 for NutriSystem meals was definitely an impulse buy.)
2) Picked up ex after his release from county jail.
(You know, exactly what God intended on the "day of rest".)
3) Took him to pick up his smashed vehicle from the tow lot.
(Yes, not only did he get a DUI but he wrecked his car. Oddly enough - these two events did not happen at the same time.)
4). My kids stole my modem the rest of the day to play Xbox 360 Live.
(I'm starting to think there is crack flowing through those connections because they are serious addicted. My dad used to say I had the telephone growing out of my ear, for them it's the Xbox headset.)
1) Spent all morning on Ebay.
(Thank God someone outbid me. $250 for NutriSystem meals was definitely an impulse buy.)
2) Picked up ex after his release from county jail.
(You know, exactly what God intended on the "day of rest".)
3) Took him to pick up his smashed vehicle from the tow lot.
(Yes, not only did he get a DUI but he wrecked his car. Oddly enough - these two events did not happen at the same time.)
4). My kids stole my modem the rest of the day to play Xbox 360 Live.
(I'm starting to think there is crack flowing through those connections because they are serious addicted. My dad used to say I had the telephone growing out of my ear, for them it's the Xbox headset.)
Sunday, March 02, 2008
the 3 am phone call...
Ever get these...the 3 am phone call...they are never good are they? Back in my younger (stupid) days the 3 am phone call was usually a bootie call and being the dumb, lovesick girl that I was...I would come running...even driving 45 minutes to get there...ok - little off track there. But usually that call is someone in trouble - they've been arrested, they need a ride, they caught their boyfriend cheating, etc. Or someone is drunk - they want you to party with them, they are remembering you really were the right one for them, the caught their girlfriend cheating, etc. And the call I got at 3 am this morning was no different. It was my ex-husband (ok we are still married but I moved out a year ago today no less) got picked up for drunk driving.
I don't know any particulars about how drunk or anything - he was calling to see if I would pick him up after his arrainment - but I really wasn't surprise by the event. For a big guy, close to 6 ft and pushing 220 - 230 lbs, he really can't hold his alcohol. He is silly drunk on oh I'd say 6 or 7 beers and if it's hard alcohol at all - hell, he is out of the game after 2 or 3. But you could never tell him this. I think it was a pride thing, again back to his size, there is no way a guy of his size was going to admit he couldn't hang with the baddest of the bad. Still I tried. I told him several times that he was going to get picked up some day because he doesn't realize his limits at all.
This is the 2nd person I know that got picked up in the last month. Him 30 years old and the other, well, has to be in at least their mid-30's as well. I don't understand this at this age. Knowing that it's an automatic driving suspension of 6 months, how do you function without being able to drive? How do you get to your job to support your family and how do you drive your kids around to all of their stuff? I would think it would be a major source of embarrassment.
That's not to say I am innocent. I KNOW there are several times in my life I should not have driven anywhere. Times I don't even remember driving home. And I actually got picked up for DUI back in 1992 - but you see, that is part of my point. That was 16 years ago. And that's not to say because it happened in my early 20's it wasn't any less irresponsible - just more understandable perhaps given who didn't spend their early 20's partying. I still go out with friends for drinks but I would like to think I pace myself now so that I'm not taking huge chances at the end of the evening. I don't drink to get drunk anymore. I don't know what I would do if I lost my license and couldn't get us anywhere we needed to be. When I lost my license with that DUI, I lived at home with my mom and she drove me to work and picked me up every day. Is that what I would do now pushing 40 years old, have my mommy drive me and my kids every where we needed to go? Not really where I want to be in my life at this point. And that's even touching the fines and the mandatory jail time.
And I'm also not fooling myself, I know that there really is a vast degree of difference between how I feel I am at the end of the night and how impaired I actually might be if I took one of those simulated tests that gauge your reaction times. If I am honest, I probably do still take some risk when I drink. I used to always say, "it's not illegal to drink and drive - it's only illegal to be drunk and drive" . That's logic for you huh? In our state, the legal limit is .08. For some people that could realistically be one drink. 16 years ago it was .10 and my BAL was .186 - almost twice the legal limit. Did I think I was fine? Of course I did. Was I? Probably not. I had been drinking for like 8 hrs straight - so I highly doubt it.
Ok - so this post is turning on me a bit...I'm not coming off so well...(hehe)...all I was trying to say is that at some point in your life, the drinking has to become secondary. Drinking doesn't have to be to get drunk. Know your limits. Make that 3 am call for a ride home then, rather than a ride home after you've been released from jail.
I don't know any particulars about how drunk or anything - he was calling to see if I would pick him up after his arrainment - but I really wasn't surprise by the event. For a big guy, close to 6 ft and pushing 220 - 230 lbs, he really can't hold his alcohol. He is silly drunk on oh I'd say 6 or 7 beers and if it's hard alcohol at all - hell, he is out of the game after 2 or 3. But you could never tell him this. I think it was a pride thing, again back to his size, there is no way a guy of his size was going to admit he couldn't hang with the baddest of the bad. Still I tried. I told him several times that he was going to get picked up some day because he doesn't realize his limits at all.
This is the 2nd person I know that got picked up in the last month. Him 30 years old and the other, well, has to be in at least their mid-30's as well. I don't understand this at this age. Knowing that it's an automatic driving suspension of 6 months, how do you function without being able to drive? How do you get to your job to support your family and how do you drive your kids around to all of their stuff? I would think it would be a major source of embarrassment.
That's not to say I am innocent. I KNOW there are several times in my life I should not have driven anywhere. Times I don't even remember driving home. And I actually got picked up for DUI back in 1992 - but you see, that is part of my point. That was 16 years ago. And that's not to say because it happened in my early 20's it wasn't any less irresponsible - just more understandable perhaps given who didn't spend their early 20's partying. I still go out with friends for drinks but I would like to think I pace myself now so that I'm not taking huge chances at the end of the evening. I don't drink to get drunk anymore. I don't know what I would do if I lost my license and couldn't get us anywhere we needed to be. When I lost my license with that DUI, I lived at home with my mom and she drove me to work and picked me up every day. Is that what I would do now pushing 40 years old, have my mommy drive me and my kids every where we needed to go? Not really where I want to be in my life at this point. And that's even touching the fines and the mandatory jail time.
And I'm also not fooling myself, I know that there really is a vast degree of difference between how I feel I am at the end of the night and how impaired I actually might be if I took one of those simulated tests that gauge your reaction times. If I am honest, I probably do still take some risk when I drink. I used to always say, "it's not illegal to drink and drive - it's only illegal to be drunk and drive" . That's logic for you huh? In our state, the legal limit is .08. For some people that could realistically be one drink. 16 years ago it was .10 and my BAL was .186 - almost twice the legal limit. Did I think I was fine? Of course I did. Was I? Probably not. I had been drinking for like 8 hrs straight - so I highly doubt it.
Ok - so this post is turning on me a bit...I'm not coming off so well...(hehe)...all I was trying to say is that at some point in your life, the drinking has to become secondary. Drinking doesn't have to be to get drunk. Know your limits. Make that 3 am call for a ride home then, rather than a ride home after you've been released from jail.
Saturday, March 01, 2008
Newbie
DISCLAIMER...I don't know if I am supposed to post on the NaBloPoMo page only or there and on my original blog too so here goes...
I decided to give NaBloPoMo a try since I see it all over the place when reading through a friend's google reader feed. This month's theme is "lists" and since I am soooooooo tired...the big boys are away for the night, the little one is asleep and I am not too far behind him..my first list will be what I did today (you know all the crap that made me this tired).
1) Jace (3 year old) woke me up at 7:00 am
2) tried 'til 8:00 am to fake Jace into believing it was still nigh-night time
3) played around on computer for couple hours 'til I realized my rent was due by noon
4) left at 11:15 am to get gas and go to property management office
5) got back at 12:30 pm with Wendy's in tow for lunch
6) called #1 son (Brendon) to make arrangements to pick him up from friend's
7) watched some tv, read a magazine and probably squeezed in a little more internet
8) tried at 2:30 pm to get Jace to take a nap
9) gave up at 2:40 pm when it was obvious he was going keep thinking of things he needed to do before laying down
10). called ex a little before 3:00 pm to see if I could stop and pick up child support $, he offered to watch Jace so I could go to the grocery store
11) leave 5 minutes later to his house which happens to be one block away - convenient huh
12) pick up #1 son at friend's at 3:15 pm and drive him to baseball practice that starts at 3:30 pm
13) go to car wash (a fruitless effort given all the slushy salt from melted snow but it made me feel better)
14) go to Walmart for misc and grocery shopping, spend $120
15) go back at 5:00 pm to pick up #1 son at practice
16) pick up #3 son at his dad's at 5:30 pm - practice never ends on time
17) carry in groceries and simultaneously try to fix a couple side dishes to go along with our dinner that had been in the oven for the last 2 1/2 hrs while also putting away said groceries
18) sit down to eat
19) get up to clean up table
20) argue with son #1 and #2 (Dallas) about cleaning the basement
21) give Jace a bath at 7:00 pm
22) load all three boys in truck a little after 8:00 pm to haul the big boys back to earlier mentioned friend's house to spend the night
23) 8:30 pm carry Jace into bed - fell asleep on the drive - thank you God
24) get the mail that has been accummulating for a few days
25) skim through to see if Soap Opera Digest came - no, so toss all others aside
26) fix glass of diet Mt. Dew and grap a choc. choc. chip muffin for a healthy snack
27) skim onscreen television guide
28) check my blog for comments - none - no surprise
29) go to friend's blog to check for new entries
30) go to her google reader where the first post is a NaBloPoMo participant
31) check out what NaBloPoMo is all about
32) join and post
33) feel eyes burning
34) tell myself to take advantage of peace and quiet and go to bed
35) start thinking about tomorrow's list
I decided to give NaBloPoMo a try since I see it all over the place when reading through a friend's google reader feed. This month's theme is "lists" and since I am soooooooo tired...the big boys are away for the night, the little one is asleep and I am not too far behind him..my first list will be what I did today (you know all the crap that made me this tired).
1) Jace (3 year old) woke me up at 7:00 am
2) tried 'til 8:00 am to fake Jace into believing it was still nigh-night time
3) played around on computer for couple hours 'til I realized my rent was due by noon
4) left at 11:15 am to get gas and go to property management office
5) got back at 12:30 pm with Wendy's in tow for lunch
6) called #1 son (Brendon) to make arrangements to pick him up from friend's
7) watched some tv, read a magazine and probably squeezed in a little more internet
8) tried at 2:30 pm to get Jace to take a nap
9) gave up at 2:40 pm when it was obvious he was going keep thinking of things he needed to do before laying down
10). called ex a little before 3:00 pm to see if I could stop and pick up child support $, he offered to watch Jace so I could go to the grocery store
11) leave 5 minutes later to his house which happens to be one block away - convenient huh
12) pick up #1 son at friend's at 3:15 pm and drive him to baseball practice that starts at 3:30 pm
13) go to car wash (a fruitless effort given all the slushy salt from melted snow but it made me feel better)
14) go to Walmart for misc and grocery shopping, spend $120
15) go back at 5:00 pm to pick up #1 son at practice
16) pick up #3 son at his dad's at 5:30 pm - practice never ends on time
17) carry in groceries and simultaneously try to fix a couple side dishes to go along with our dinner that had been in the oven for the last 2 1/2 hrs while also putting away said groceries
18) sit down to eat
19) get up to clean up table
20) argue with son #1 and #2 (Dallas) about cleaning the basement
21) give Jace a bath at 7:00 pm
22) load all three boys in truck a little after 8:00 pm to haul the big boys back to earlier mentioned friend's house to spend the night
23) 8:30 pm carry Jace into bed - fell asleep on the drive - thank you God
24) get the mail that has been accummulating for a few days
25) skim through to see if Soap Opera Digest came - no, so toss all others aside
26) fix glass of diet Mt. Dew and grap a choc. choc. chip muffin for a healthy snack
27) skim onscreen television guide
28) check my blog for comments - none - no surprise
29) go to friend's blog to check for new entries
30) go to her google reader where the first post is a NaBloPoMo participant
31) check out what NaBloPoMo is all about
32) join and post
33) feel eyes burning
34) tell myself to take advantage of peace and quiet and go to bed
35) start thinking about tomorrow's list
There is NOTHING a mother wouldn't do...
There is nothing a mother wouldn't do to ease her child's pain. Am I right?
I was sitting this morning reading post after post on my friend's google reader feed when I heard Jace start crying and calling out in pain from downstairs. I shouted down and asked him what was wrong and he said, "I got a big poop". I went downstairs to find him kneeling on the floor in Dallas' room holding his butt. I whisked him up to the bathroom and placed him on the pot. The poor kid was crying and through the tears strained to say, "it's hurting my butt really bad". What is a mother to do in this situation? I had to do something to ease his pain.
So, I had him throw his arms over my shoulders, I lifted him slightly off the pot, placed my fingers on either side of the giant turd that was lodged in his little bottom - applying reverse pressure, and told him to PUSH. He did and soon we heard the splash. It was music to our ears - something like "splash, splash - splish, splish - oh what a relief it is!"
The look on his face was the equivilent to the mouse pulling the thorn from the lion's paw. Mom had saved the day! Now mom needs to put apple juice on the shopping list.
I was sitting this morning reading post after post on my friend's google reader feed when I heard Jace start crying and calling out in pain from downstairs. I shouted down and asked him what was wrong and he said, "I got a big poop". I went downstairs to find him kneeling on the floor in Dallas' room holding his butt. I whisked him up to the bathroom and placed him on the pot. The poor kid was crying and through the tears strained to say, "it's hurting my butt really bad". What is a mother to do in this situation? I had to do something to ease his pain.
So, I had him throw his arms over my shoulders, I lifted him slightly off the pot, placed my fingers on either side of the giant turd that was lodged in his little bottom - applying reverse pressure, and told him to PUSH. He did and soon we heard the splash. It was music to our ears - something like "splash, splash - splish, splish - oh what a relief it is!"
The look on his face was the equivilent to the mouse pulling the thorn from the lion's paw. Mom had saved the day! Now mom needs to put apple juice on the shopping list.
Book Meme Challenge
I'm taking the Book Meme Challenge...
Rules:
1. Pick up the nearest book ( of at least 123 pages).
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the next three sentences.
5. Tag five people & post a comment here once you post it to your blog, so I can come see.
Here’s mine:
..."But the result was that it convinced him that her explanation for the shooting of Gary Ray Trotter was bogus. There was more to it than the luck of a dumb crook finally running out. If it had been strickly a matter of self-defense, she wouldn't be slipping a note to the detective overseeing the investigation, asking him to meet her alone."...
~Ricochet by Sandra Brown
Rules:
1. Pick up the nearest book ( of at least 123 pages).
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the next three sentences.
5. Tag five people & post a comment here once you post it to your blog, so I can come see.
Here’s mine:
..."But the result was that it convinced him that her explanation for the shooting of Gary Ray Trotter was bogus. There was more to it than the luck of a dumb crook finally running out. If it had been strickly a matter of self-defense, she wouldn't be slipping a note to the detective overseeing the investigation, asking him to meet her alone."...
~Ricochet by Sandra Brown
Friday, February 29, 2008
No Wonder They Cancel School So Much
I went out to our school's website to jot down the snow make up days (9 of them by the way) and this picture was on the webpage. This road runs along one of the elementary buildings on campus. The snow is just about as tall as the school bus. No wonder they keep cancelling school.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Moral Compass
How bad is it when a 3 year old is your moral compass? Forget being a preschool genius...he's a mini frickin' Dahli Lama.
Last night I was screaming at Brendon to clean his room, this after weeks of asking nicely, which quickly lead to an argument over what he felt he needed to pick up or was responsible for verses what I felt he needed to pick up and was responsible for. You've been there, right?! When their idea of clean is MUCH different than your idea of clean. And as I am screaming down the stairs and he is screaming up the stairs, all of a sudden I realize Jace is standing on the couch looking over the bannister saying something as well. I couldn't believe my ears, once the screaming stopped ringing in them, he was saying, "hey calm down!" and I realized he had been saying it more than once. I was shocked, I mean...who taught him that anyway? Then I had to laugh.
So much for setting a good example. I guess I need to review that writing, "everything I need to know about life, I learned in kindergarden". Once again, Jace is way ahead of the game.
Last night I was screaming at Brendon to clean his room, this after weeks of asking nicely, which quickly lead to an argument over what he felt he needed to pick up or was responsible for verses what I felt he needed to pick up and was responsible for. You've been there, right?! When their idea of clean is MUCH different than your idea of clean. And as I am screaming down the stairs and he is screaming up the stairs, all of a sudden I realize Jace is standing on the couch looking over the bannister saying something as well. I couldn't believe my ears, once the screaming stopped ringing in them, he was saying, "hey calm down!" and I realized he had been saying it more than once. I was shocked, I mean...who taught him that anyway? Then I had to laugh.
So much for setting a good example. I guess I need to review that writing, "everything I need to know about life, I learned in kindergarden". Once again, Jace is way ahead of the game.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Further proof that men are clueless...
See this cute pair of jeans Ken bought and sent Jace home in.
I'm sorry...I meant see this cute pair of GIRL jeans Ken bought and sent Jace home in. Do you see the little embroidered hearts on the back pocket? You can't really see it in the picture but the ankles actually flair out a little too - like they are boot cut.He swears he bought them in the boys department but he obviously didn't pay much attention to detail.
These will not be leaving the house again - atleast not on Jace's back side. Anyone know a little girl who wears a 2T?
Preschool Genius
Jace starts preschool Monday. I called to get him signed up for the fall but they had an opening to finish out the school year in the 2 year old room so we took it.
Little do they know what I little Einstein they are getting. A couple weeks ago at day care, they had some free coloring time where they could draw anything rather than color a preprinted page. Jace told me he was drawing a boat but he didn't say the boat was one of Christopher Columbus' fleet - see below. He keeps his brillance so understated. I wondered why on the way home that day he was chanting "in 1492 - Columbus sailed the ocean blue". HAHA - just kidding!
Little do they know what I little Einstein they are getting. A couple weeks ago at day care, they had some free coloring time where they could draw anything rather than color a preprinted page. Jace told me he was drawing a boat but he didn't say the boat was one of Christopher Columbus' fleet - see below. He keeps his brillance so understated. I wondered why on the way home that day he was chanting "in 1492 - Columbus sailed the ocean blue". HAHA - just kidding!
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Fraidy Cat!
While waiting to dose off to sleep the other night I was reminded of a childhood fear I had. It was highly irrationally but made total sense back then...who am I kidding, I still use the logic sometimes even now.
My fear was that I could NOT sleep without being covered up atleast from the waist down. It could be something as light as just the sheet but I HAD to be covered atleast that much. My theory was that a killer that broke into our house in the night would not stab me in the back as long as I was covered from the waist down. Would not stab me in the back if my waist down was covered. Makes NO sense right? Like I said, completely irrational, but it allowed me to then feel safe and sleep soundly in my bed. To this day, I still do not sleep without the covers being atleast at the waist. I may kick them off my legs from time to time but somehow the waist stays covered. It has too.
I have other irrational fears. I have a HUGE, consuming fear of birds. No, not caused by the Hitchcock classic movie - never seen it, never will! I don't know where this fear comes from. It used to be that they just grossed my out. I would think about their rounded bellies being all full of blood and guts and how if one were to be smashed into the pavement, that is all you would see is all the blood and guts. Sorry, should have given a "reader discretion is advised" warning.
Over the course of my fear of birds, it grew into the fear of being attacked by a bird. I once had a hanging flower basket on the railing of my porch only to discover that a bird had built a nest in it. I came home one day to find said bird sitting in my flower basket, in my mind, blocking my safe entry into my home. So, I got my umbrella out and shielded myself with it passed the bird and into the house. When the bird was away, I moved the flower basket off the railing and onto the patio so that the bird could still nuture it's eggs yet I could get in and out of my house without having to run and at dead sprint. I thought for sure the bird would sense by smell or something where her eggs were, just a few feet away on the patio, but she never found where I had moved the nest and the eggs didn't make it. I think they call that manslaughter when you kill someone accidentally - babybirdslaughter in this case. For days I would look out the window and see that mother bird perched on the railing longing for her babies. I was, at that point, a prisoner in my own home. I would not leave the house if that bird was out there for fear she would attack me. Later I would see a similar bird perched on my neighbor's house overlooking my yard. I was certain it was actually the same bird and had visions of that mother bird swooping down and carrying off one of my small children in retaliation.
Now all of that was just over your garden variety bird of no particularlly threatening size. Well, not to anyone who doesn't have a fear of birds that is. So, imagine how paralyzing my fear of large birds might be? I have read stories in our local paper of people in our town being attacked by wild turkeys. My greatest fear realized! An semi-elderly woman had to climb on type of her car to get away. There also have been cases just outside of our town on a major interstate were wild turkeys have flown into and crashed through windows of traveling vehicles. Crashed into - ending up IN the vehicle WITH the driver.
Let me just stop there for a second to note that as I write all of this...my chest is tightening and my heart beating harder. If something like that happened to me...I would totally have a heart attack and die right there on the spot. My heart would STOP! NO KIDDING!
Once I took my kids to a zoo whose bird exhibit was open - meaning you walked amongst them. You could not get through to the other parts of the zoo without going through the bird exhibit so unless we were going to turn around and go home without seeing the lions and tigers and bears (oh my) thus ruining my children's day, I had no choice. I tried to just look straight ahead and walk quickly. As we rounded a curve in the path, off to my left what before my wondering eyes should appear but the peacock family. Not the largest of the birds in the exhibit....no, that would be the emu I saw to my right. I was fa-reeaked out! I tried to stick to the plan of hurrying through and were almost passed the peacocks when one of them started screeching. I screamed, grabbed my son by the shirt and cowarded behind him, pushing him further along the path crouched below his shoulders. My son was I think 11 at the time who even now at 14 is only something like 4 ft 10 inches tall. And here is his mother putting him between her and this flesh riping, meat from the bone picking creature so that she didn't get attacked. Great motherly instincts huh?! It was that irrational fear that took over. All I could think about was that bird attacking me - I was soooo scared!
Almost as bad as my fear of birds is a fear of cats. That fear is again of being attacked - of being pounced on. 14 years ago, the night before a friend's wedding, all the bridesmaids (of which I was one) spent the night at her house so that we could all go to the church together. This friend had about 6 persian cats. Another girl and I were sleeping on the sectional in the living room as the panthers and mountain lions roamed around us. I would wake up and to find one of the staring at me. I couldn't shake that stare. I got up and went to the bathroom and when I opened the door like 4 of them were sitting in the hallway blocking my save return to the couch. I ran and jumped back on the couch and then woke up the other girl to protect me. I wouldn't let her get a wink of sleep the rest of the night. Whenever a sensed the beasts closing in, I would kick her awake, "Stacy, there are going to get me!". HA. She still gives me a hard time about that night. But the fear had practically paralyzed me. I just kept imagining them all on top of me scratching and biting and clawing my eyes out. Too many of them to fight off - helpless to do anything to save myself.
A few months ago, I went out to start my car and as I approached the passenger side (where I would lean in and turn the key then throw Jace's bag in the backseat), I saw something move inside my car. As I got closer and it came into view...it was a cat...IN MY CAR! I had no clue how it got in there or how long it had been in there. I had left the windows down earlier in the evening but had since left to pick my son and a neighbor kid up from practice. Had it been in the car then and stayed hidden? If it was trapped in there all night, had it peed and pooped in there? EWW! But given my fear of cats, I was afraid to simply open the door and let him out. If he felt cornered, he's probably pounce right?! So, I did what any normal person would do...I opened the door and ran screaming into my back yard and up onto the back porch. Immediately I thought that was stupid, now I am cornered if he didn't come out of the car, how was I going to get back around to the front of the house. I considered climbing the chainlink fence and coming around front but instead I crept down the stairs and peered into the carport. The car door was obviously still open - it's not like he was going to politely close it as he went about his way - but more importantly I had no idea where he had gone, if anywhere. I kicked the door shut and then walked around the vehicle looking in all the windows to see if he was still in there. Totally expecting it to jump up eye to eye with only the glass between us. As I rounded the drivers side, I saw that the back seat window was down about 4 or 5 inches. Then I realized the neighbor kid had left the window down on his side when he got out and I never realized it when we got home. So, that was how the cat got in but I still didn't know how long he had spent in there. Still didn't know if I would discover a nice pile of cat shit in a floorboard or the hatch. Once I decided it was gone, I walked back toward the house to wake up my little one and dress him for day care and too my horror realized the door had not shut all the way behind me when I had gone out originally to start the car. My heart sank thinking, "Oh my GOD - what if that cat ran into the house?!". I came in, turned on some lights and looked intently around a couple corners fearing I would come face to face with this savage animal. I decided I couldn't find it and thought if it's in here, the boys will discover it when they get up for school. Again, scarificing my children so that I didn't have to confront my fear.
Not long after that, I was making Halloween treats for work, my little boy was watching a Scooby Doo movie and all of sudden I heard a LOUD screeching - like a cornered animal. It sounded like a cat. I jumped up on a kitchen chair. How stupid! It wasn't a mouse, it was a cat - cats can jump so the heighth of that chair was not going to save me from anything. And there was my little boy in the living room alone where the animal could eat him. I called the older boys at their friends' up the street and told them they had to come home right now, that I thought there was a cat in the house and they needed to get it. After all, they are the men of the house now you know. In my panic and desperate cry for help, I didn't realize it was the kid whose house I had called that I was speaking too and not one of my sons. Yeah not embarrassing at all. Still they came anyway - all four of them came running. Searched the house and found nothing. I told them about the screech and we decided it must have been a hawk circling in the Scooby movie I heard but we replayed it a couple times and it never sounded the same as what I had heard. With them I'm sure thinking I was CRAAAZZY - we all went about what we were doing. Later when the boys were back home, Dallas was watching me make the treats, we were just talking and all of a sudden there was the screeching animal again. Brendon was in the basement and didn't hear it but Dallas did. I was NOT crazy afterall. I jumped up on the chair again. Dallas was cautiously looking around and Jace was jumping on the couch nearby when we heard it again. It was like it was coming from under the couch cushion. How could a cat have gotten trapped under the couch cushion? How could that even be possible? Irrational right?! I made him and Brendon remove the cushions and even though they were scared too that something would pounce out, I remained on top that kitchen chair a safe distance away. There was nothing there. Turns out my son had left AIM open and someone had changed their chime or whatever you call it to a screeching cat in honor of Halloween. So, everytime this person got on AIM, instead of hearing a door open, you would hear a screech. A sound effect of a cat had rendered me scared for my life shaking and shivering on top a chair.
I also have a fear of something happening to my children - especially the kidnapping or death of. I know that sounds so marose but in today's society bad things do happen to the most innocent of children and I just know I could not go on living if anything happened to any of my kids. It wouldn't be a heart attack this time that killed me. It would be heart ache! My heart would ache do badly that I would die from the pain. I know I am not the only parent to have those fears. Last fall we "lost" Jace at a local store. The store had to do the lock down (Code Adam I believe it's called) and we called 911. He could not be found anywhere! What had me scared the most as it was happening was that he was not responding at all. I just kept thinking if he had wandered off or was playing a game...he would respond...answer to his name...laugh, snicker or giggle, something - yet there was nothing. That, in and of itself, had me convinced someone had him. Someone had grabbed him, covered his mouth and had already gotten away with him. I even went out to the parking lot somehow thinking I was going to see a car speeding away and I could get it's description or license plate. Why did I think that? That happens in the movies! Why would I have wanted to see that? I would have collaspsed in anguish if I had but it atleast would be something to go on. I remember thinking I was never going to see him again. We finally found Jace hiding under the same rack we were standing at when we first noticed him missing. He kneeled there, keeping quietier than you ever thought a 2 year old could be, playing what was to him "Hide N Seek". I was never more relived in my life. I had a 911 operator on the phone when I found him and hung up on her so that I could reach for and pick up my child. I just held him. Hugged him tight and all he wanted to do was hide again. I was shaken for days! You know though, every single person I told the story too had had it happen to them with a child or grandchild.
I used to have a fear of being hit and killed by a drunk driver. I was certain that was how I was going to die. And it wasn't so much the main roads I was afraid of. It was the side roads, the neighborhood streets where someone who was impaired could run a stop sign and smash into me. I don't know why...maybe it's cause I don't get out much anymore - ha...but that fear has subsided a bit. It's more of an occassional nagging now.
So, what are your fears? I'd be really comforted to know I am not the only freak in the world.
My fear was that I could NOT sleep without being covered up atleast from the waist down. It could be something as light as just the sheet but I HAD to be covered atleast that much. My theory was that a killer that broke into our house in the night would not stab me in the back as long as I was covered from the waist down. Would not stab me in the back if my waist down was covered. Makes NO sense right? Like I said, completely irrational, but it allowed me to then feel safe and sleep soundly in my bed. To this day, I still do not sleep without the covers being atleast at the waist. I may kick them off my legs from time to time but somehow the waist stays covered. It has too.
I have other irrational fears. I have a HUGE, consuming fear of birds. No, not caused by the Hitchcock classic movie - never seen it, never will! I don't know where this fear comes from. It used to be that they just grossed my out. I would think about their rounded bellies being all full of blood and guts and how if one were to be smashed into the pavement, that is all you would see is all the blood and guts. Sorry, should have given a "reader discretion is advised" warning.
Over the course of my fear of birds, it grew into the fear of being attacked by a bird. I once had a hanging flower basket on the railing of my porch only to discover that a bird had built a nest in it. I came home one day to find said bird sitting in my flower basket, in my mind, blocking my safe entry into my home. So, I got my umbrella out and shielded myself with it passed the bird and into the house. When the bird was away, I moved the flower basket off the railing and onto the patio so that the bird could still nuture it's eggs yet I could get in and out of my house without having to run and at dead sprint. I thought for sure the bird would sense by smell or something where her eggs were, just a few feet away on the patio, but she never found where I had moved the nest and the eggs didn't make it. I think they call that manslaughter when you kill someone accidentally - babybirdslaughter in this case. For days I would look out the window and see that mother bird perched on the railing longing for her babies. I was, at that point, a prisoner in my own home. I would not leave the house if that bird was out there for fear she would attack me. Later I would see a similar bird perched on my neighbor's house overlooking my yard. I was certain it was actually the same bird and had visions of that mother bird swooping down and carrying off one of my small children in retaliation.
Now all of that was just over your garden variety bird of no particularlly threatening size. Well, not to anyone who doesn't have a fear of birds that is. So, imagine how paralyzing my fear of large birds might be? I have read stories in our local paper of people in our town being attacked by wild turkeys. My greatest fear realized! An semi-elderly woman had to climb on type of her car to get away. There also have been cases just outside of our town on a major interstate were wild turkeys have flown into and crashed through windows of traveling vehicles. Crashed into - ending up IN the vehicle WITH the driver.
Let me just stop there for a second to note that as I write all of this...my chest is tightening and my heart beating harder. If something like that happened to me...I would totally have a heart attack and die right there on the spot. My heart would STOP! NO KIDDING!
Once I took my kids to a zoo whose bird exhibit was open - meaning you walked amongst them. You could not get through to the other parts of the zoo without going through the bird exhibit so unless we were going to turn around and go home without seeing the lions and tigers and bears (oh my) thus ruining my children's day, I had no choice. I tried to just look straight ahead and walk quickly. As we rounded a curve in the path, off to my left what before my wondering eyes should appear but the peacock family. Not the largest of the birds in the exhibit....no, that would be the emu I saw to my right. I was fa-reeaked out! I tried to stick to the plan of hurrying through and were almost passed the peacocks when one of them started screeching. I screamed, grabbed my son by the shirt and cowarded behind him, pushing him further along the path crouched below his shoulders. My son was I think 11 at the time who even now at 14 is only something like 4 ft 10 inches tall. And here is his mother putting him between her and this flesh riping, meat from the bone picking creature so that she didn't get attacked. Great motherly instincts huh?! It was that irrational fear that took over. All I could think about was that bird attacking me - I was soooo scared!
Almost as bad as my fear of birds is a fear of cats. That fear is again of being attacked - of being pounced on. 14 years ago, the night before a friend's wedding, all the bridesmaids (of which I was one) spent the night at her house so that we could all go to the church together. This friend had about 6 persian cats. Another girl and I were sleeping on the sectional in the living room as the panthers and mountain lions roamed around us. I would wake up and to find one of the staring at me. I couldn't shake that stare. I got up and went to the bathroom and when I opened the door like 4 of them were sitting in the hallway blocking my save return to the couch. I ran and jumped back on the couch and then woke up the other girl to protect me. I wouldn't let her get a wink of sleep the rest of the night. Whenever a sensed the beasts closing in, I would kick her awake, "Stacy, there are going to get me!". HA. She still gives me a hard time about that night. But the fear had practically paralyzed me. I just kept imagining them all on top of me scratching and biting and clawing my eyes out. Too many of them to fight off - helpless to do anything to save myself.
A few months ago, I went out to start my car and as I approached the passenger side (where I would lean in and turn the key then throw Jace's bag in the backseat), I saw something move inside my car. As I got closer and it came into view...it was a cat...IN MY CAR! I had no clue how it got in there or how long it had been in there. I had left the windows down earlier in the evening but had since left to pick my son and a neighbor kid up from practice. Had it been in the car then and stayed hidden? If it was trapped in there all night, had it peed and pooped in there? EWW! But given my fear of cats, I was afraid to simply open the door and let him out. If he felt cornered, he's probably pounce right?! So, I did what any normal person would do...I opened the door and ran screaming into my back yard and up onto the back porch. Immediately I thought that was stupid, now I am cornered if he didn't come out of the car, how was I going to get back around to the front of the house. I considered climbing the chainlink fence and coming around front but instead I crept down the stairs and peered into the carport. The car door was obviously still open - it's not like he was going to politely close it as he went about his way - but more importantly I had no idea where he had gone, if anywhere. I kicked the door shut and then walked around the vehicle looking in all the windows to see if he was still in there. Totally expecting it to jump up eye to eye with only the glass between us. As I rounded the drivers side, I saw that the back seat window was down about 4 or 5 inches. Then I realized the neighbor kid had left the window down on his side when he got out and I never realized it when we got home. So, that was how the cat got in but I still didn't know how long he had spent in there. Still didn't know if I would discover a nice pile of cat shit in a floorboard or the hatch. Once I decided it was gone, I walked back toward the house to wake up my little one and dress him for day care and too my horror realized the door had not shut all the way behind me when I had gone out originally to start the car. My heart sank thinking, "Oh my GOD - what if that cat ran into the house?!". I came in, turned on some lights and looked intently around a couple corners fearing I would come face to face with this savage animal. I decided I couldn't find it and thought if it's in here, the boys will discover it when they get up for school. Again, scarificing my children so that I didn't have to confront my fear.
Not long after that, I was making Halloween treats for work, my little boy was watching a Scooby Doo movie and all of sudden I heard a LOUD screeching - like a cornered animal. It sounded like a cat. I jumped up on a kitchen chair. How stupid! It wasn't a mouse, it was a cat - cats can jump so the heighth of that chair was not going to save me from anything. And there was my little boy in the living room alone where the animal could eat him. I called the older boys at their friends' up the street and told them they had to come home right now, that I thought there was a cat in the house and they needed to get it. After all, they are the men of the house now you know. In my panic and desperate cry for help, I didn't realize it was the kid whose house I had called that I was speaking too and not one of my sons. Yeah not embarrassing at all. Still they came anyway - all four of them came running. Searched the house and found nothing. I told them about the screech and we decided it must have been a hawk circling in the Scooby movie I heard but we replayed it a couple times and it never sounded the same as what I had heard. With them I'm sure thinking I was CRAAAZZY - we all went about what we were doing. Later when the boys were back home, Dallas was watching me make the treats, we were just talking and all of a sudden there was the screeching animal again. Brendon was in the basement and didn't hear it but Dallas did. I was NOT crazy afterall. I jumped up on the chair again. Dallas was cautiously looking around and Jace was jumping on the couch nearby when we heard it again. It was like it was coming from under the couch cushion. How could a cat have gotten trapped under the couch cushion? How could that even be possible? Irrational right?! I made him and Brendon remove the cushions and even though they were scared too that something would pounce out, I remained on top that kitchen chair a safe distance away. There was nothing there. Turns out my son had left AIM open and someone had changed their chime or whatever you call it to a screeching cat in honor of Halloween. So, everytime this person got on AIM, instead of hearing a door open, you would hear a screech. A sound effect of a cat had rendered me scared for my life shaking and shivering on top a chair.
I also have a fear of something happening to my children - especially the kidnapping or death of. I know that sounds so marose but in today's society bad things do happen to the most innocent of children and I just know I could not go on living if anything happened to any of my kids. It wouldn't be a heart attack this time that killed me. It would be heart ache! My heart would ache do badly that I would die from the pain. I know I am not the only parent to have those fears. Last fall we "lost" Jace at a local store. The store had to do the lock down (Code Adam I believe it's called) and we called 911. He could not be found anywhere! What had me scared the most as it was happening was that he was not responding at all. I just kept thinking if he had wandered off or was playing a game...he would respond...answer to his name...laugh, snicker or giggle, something - yet there was nothing. That, in and of itself, had me convinced someone had him. Someone had grabbed him, covered his mouth and had already gotten away with him. I even went out to the parking lot somehow thinking I was going to see a car speeding away and I could get it's description or license plate. Why did I think that? That happens in the movies! Why would I have wanted to see that? I would have collaspsed in anguish if I had but it atleast would be something to go on. I remember thinking I was never going to see him again. We finally found Jace hiding under the same rack we were standing at when we first noticed him missing. He kneeled there, keeping quietier than you ever thought a 2 year old could be, playing what was to him "Hide N Seek". I was never more relived in my life. I had a 911 operator on the phone when I found him and hung up on her so that I could reach for and pick up my child. I just held him. Hugged him tight and all he wanted to do was hide again. I was shaken for days! You know though, every single person I told the story too had had it happen to them with a child or grandchild.
I used to have a fear of being hit and killed by a drunk driver. I was certain that was how I was going to die. And it wasn't so much the main roads I was afraid of. It was the side roads, the neighborhood streets where someone who was impaired could run a stop sign and smash into me. I don't know why...maybe it's cause I don't get out much anymore - ha...but that fear has subsided a bit. It's more of an occassional nagging now.
So, what are your fears? I'd be really comforted to know I am not the only freak in the world.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
"Nice one Mom!"
I was driving the boys home from the mall tonight and I belched one of those loud, rummble in the back of your throat, richochet off your teeth burps. Immediately Jace goes, "nice one Mom!" . He is such a giving soul. He is going to be a huge source of encouragement to all the other wee wittle wons when he starts pre-school next week.
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Winter Wonderland???
Shoveling is a bitch! It took me an hour to shovel my one car driveway and clear away some of what I know will end up at the end of my driveway once the snow plow comes through. Al Gore can take his message of Global Warming and shove it where the sun don't shine. If the polar bears are drowning at the artic ice caps, then haul their butts to the midwest where we are enjoying 60 inches of snow this winter to date.
Here is the real amazing thing though while shoveling today...even with the sound of the the winds whirling, my heart pounding and my back breaking...I could still hear my kids screaming at each other from inside the house. I think I should build an igloo and hybernate the rest of the winter. Wake me up in six weeks and thank that damn groundhog for that one.
Here is the real amazing thing though while shoveling today...even with the sound of the the winds whirling, my heart pounding and my back breaking...I could still hear my kids screaming at each other from inside the house. I think I should build an igloo and hybernate the rest of the winter. Wake me up in six weeks and thank that damn groundhog for that one.
Friday, February 15, 2008
I'm the worst...
Brendon was violently ill this morning following his lethal combination of ice cream, nachos and popcorn at a basketball game last night. I totally forgot to call the school that he would be absent until 2.5 hours into the school day. This is a frequent behavior of mine. I always seem to forget to call. But in my defense, I don't call right away because there is no one there to answer anyway. By time there is, it's like "out of sight - out of mind" big time. So, as I finally made the call - referring outloud to myself as a bonehead - my boss goes, "I'll say it for you...you're worst mother in the world" . I said, "No. I'm just the worst phone call maker in the world!" . HAHA.
But making that late phone call is MUCH better than a couple times I've had to call the school and ask if my boys are even there. Yeah...mother of the year, right?! I've had to do that twice when I've forgotten to call home and wake them up for school. I'd call home when I finally realized and get no answer. No answer didn't really tell me much. Did they get up on their own and were gone? OR, were they still sleeping soundly in their beds with visions of sugar plums dancing in their heads? So, the only alternative (other than driving home and actually checking) was to call the school. THAT is an embarassing call to make. I mean, shouldn't a parent know if their children are in school?!
Suddenly I am reminded that just this year I also called the school and said, "I just found out my kids missed the bus so I am going to get them but they'll be tardy". I based that call on the fact that I had called home, with no answer, for 45 minutes. I drove home to get them and they weren't there. They had gotten up on their own...still don't know why they didn't answer the phone. Buttheads!
Ok - maybe I am the worst mother in the world! No, no, no - it's the kids that make you look and sound crazy!
But making that late phone call is MUCH better than a couple times I've had to call the school and ask if my boys are even there. Yeah...mother of the year, right?! I've had to do that twice when I've forgotten to call home and wake them up for school. I'd call home when I finally realized and get no answer. No answer didn't really tell me much. Did they get up on their own and were gone? OR, were they still sleeping soundly in their beds with visions of sugar plums dancing in their heads? So, the only alternative (other than driving home and actually checking) was to call the school. THAT is an embarassing call to make. I mean, shouldn't a parent know if their children are in school?!
Suddenly I am reminded that just this year I also called the school and said, "I just found out my kids missed the bus so I am going to get them but they'll be tardy". I based that call on the fact that I had called home, with no answer, for 45 minutes. I drove home to get them and they weren't there. They had gotten up on their own...still don't know why they didn't answer the phone. Buttheads!
Ok - maybe I am the worst mother in the world! No, no, no - it's the kids that make you look and sound crazy!
Thursday, February 14, 2008
"...you're my Balentine"
So, I don't have much going on in the romantic arena to write about on Valentine's Day but I do have this...
...a couple weeks ago, we were eating dinner (actually at the kitchen table, all of us) and completely out of the blue Jace goes, "mommy, you're my Balentine" . The rest of us looked at each other and then laughed. Brendon goes, "ok, that was random" . HA. They had been talking about and coloring a lot of Valentine's pictures at day care.
How sweet is that though?! I guess that makes up for when he tells me to stop singing in the car..."that's too loud mommy!".
...a couple weeks ago, we were eating dinner (actually at the kitchen table, all of us) and completely out of the blue Jace goes, "mommy, you're my Balentine" . The rest of us looked at each other and then laughed. Brendon goes, "ok, that was random" . HA. They had been talking about and coloring a lot of Valentine's pictures at day care.
How sweet is that though?! I guess that makes up for when he tells me to stop singing in the car..."that's too loud mommy!".
Monday, February 11, 2008
You've Come A Long Way Baby...
Besides that being an old campaign slogan for Virginia Slims cigarettes (my mother's unfortunate preferred brand for more than 30 years)...it also applied to me over the weekend. Although given the circumstances surrounding it, some people could say I am completely fucked in the head but it was none the less a personal victory for me.
I had spent some time talking to a good friend Friday night about how messed up and distraught I was for a long time following the break up with the father of my older children. How heartbreak and heartache are VERY real. How they are not just emotions felt in the heart and head but that there is often real physical pain when you loose someone you love. How I was in a real bad place and made a lot of real bad choices for a good 2 years. But how that the good news was that I had survived and like to think that I am strong enough now to admit that I made a lot of mistakes. To not give them merrit or justify them any longer, beyond the pure fact that I was messed up. And how I know I will never make those misakes again.
Before I go any further...it really was a surreal night because earlier, before this discussion, we had seen the girl he left me for at a local restaurant celebrating what we calculated to be her 30th birthday. She was 17 years old when he left me (and our kids) for her - turned 18 a month later. Why do I know that? It goes to how fucked up I was. I made it a point to find out everything I could and to insinuate myself into every aspect of their lives all in the name of "well, we have children together"...all because I was hurting so tremendously. I felt like I had been plucked out and she had simply stepped into my life. I was lost, felt alone and it HURT! A lot!
Anyway, onto the end of this last Friday evening, we started to head home when my friend checked in with her husband (who happens to be lifelong friends with my ex) and there was a cryptic message that I was supposed to call said ex at his favorite hang out. Apparently him and his latest girlfriend, who he happens to live with, had gotten into a (drunken) arguement and he was stranded with no place to go. Being the nice person I am (sucker), and the fact that I always seem to help him when he needs it (sucker), I said I could pick him up and he could crash in the basement with the boys. Our boys are teenagers now and we'd just explain to them what happened so that they weren't confused why he was coming home with me.
After getting to my place, we sat and laughed with the kids a little and then decided we all needed to get to sleep. As predicted, given the condition he was in, he kept coming up with excuses for needing to come into my room and talk to me.
I would be like, "you can stay here if you need to, there is plenty of room in the basement, we'll work something out, blah, blah, blah, go get some sleep".
And finally he came right out and asked, "so, there is no chance you want me to sleep with you?"
To which I frankly replied, "NO".
He was like, "you are the one person I can count on, blah, blah, blah, can you really look me in the eye and say you don't want me to sleep here?"
I said, "what I can tell you is that a part of me will always love you but I'm not the same girl I was 10 years ago and I will not be a substitute for _____________ for the night just because you found out some shit tonight that you didn't like!"
THAT people, was my personal victory! Victory back from the brink of despair, victory over the hold he used to have over me, victory to the woman I have become. I want a man in my life again someday but I swore a long time ago I would never let a man have that much control over me ever again.
I've made the cold, harsh realization that my soon to be ex-husband was not the "love of my life" and that contributed to the downfall of our marriage. So then I had to ask myself, if not him, then does that mean this other person was. And you know, I used to think yeah he probably was...until this weekend. After he scurried away with his tail between his legs, I found myself seriously doubting I could ever be in a place of wanting him in my bed again. Too much has happened, too many hurts, too many indiscretions, too many lies, too many times he shows me no respect whatsoever, too many times he made me feel stupid, too many times he made me feel unimportant, too many times he wasn't there for our sons. It's just too much!
So, you see, I have come a long way baby, because I now realize the victory was greater than I had even imagined. I've been able to say the words for a long time that I am over him but this weekend, I FELT it.
And I know in my heart, the "love of my life" (other than my boys) is still out there. I can see him in my mind, everything but his face. I even feel him sometimes in the sense that I believe in it so sometimes I can "feel" the moment happening when I find him or he finds me. The feeling is comfortable, the feeling is secure, the feeling is butterflies, the feeling is laughter, the feeling is...well, love.
Man, and it's not even Valentine's Day yet!
I had spent some time talking to a good friend Friday night about how messed up and distraught I was for a long time following the break up with the father of my older children. How heartbreak and heartache are VERY real. How they are not just emotions felt in the heart and head but that there is often real physical pain when you loose someone you love. How I was in a real bad place and made a lot of real bad choices for a good 2 years. But how that the good news was that I had survived and like to think that I am strong enough now to admit that I made a lot of mistakes. To not give them merrit or justify them any longer, beyond the pure fact that I was messed up. And how I know I will never make those misakes again.
Before I go any further...it really was a surreal night because earlier, before this discussion, we had seen the girl he left me for at a local restaurant celebrating what we calculated to be her 30th birthday. She was 17 years old when he left me (and our kids) for her - turned 18 a month later. Why do I know that? It goes to how fucked up I was. I made it a point to find out everything I could and to insinuate myself into every aspect of their lives all in the name of "well, we have children together"...all because I was hurting so tremendously. I felt like I had been plucked out and she had simply stepped into my life. I was lost, felt alone and it HURT! A lot!
Anyway, onto the end of this last Friday evening, we started to head home when my friend checked in with her husband (who happens to be lifelong friends with my ex) and there was a cryptic message that I was supposed to call said ex at his favorite hang out. Apparently him and his latest girlfriend, who he happens to live with, had gotten into a (drunken) arguement and he was stranded with no place to go. Being the nice person I am (sucker), and the fact that I always seem to help him when he needs it (sucker), I said I could pick him up and he could crash in the basement with the boys. Our boys are teenagers now and we'd just explain to them what happened so that they weren't confused why he was coming home with me.
After getting to my place, we sat and laughed with the kids a little and then decided we all needed to get to sleep. As predicted, given the condition he was in, he kept coming up with excuses for needing to come into my room and talk to me.
I would be like, "you can stay here if you need to, there is plenty of room in the basement, we'll work something out, blah, blah, blah, go get some sleep".
And finally he came right out and asked, "so, there is no chance you want me to sleep with you?"
To which I frankly replied, "NO".
He was like, "you are the one person I can count on, blah, blah, blah, can you really look me in the eye and say you don't want me to sleep here?"
I said, "what I can tell you is that a part of me will always love you but I'm not the same girl I was 10 years ago and I will not be a substitute for _____________ for the night just because you found out some shit tonight that you didn't like!"
THAT people, was my personal victory! Victory back from the brink of despair, victory over the hold he used to have over me, victory to the woman I have become. I want a man in my life again someday but I swore a long time ago I would never let a man have that much control over me ever again.
I've made the cold, harsh realization that my soon to be ex-husband was not the "love of my life" and that contributed to the downfall of our marriage. So then I had to ask myself, if not him, then does that mean this other person was. And you know, I used to think yeah he probably was...until this weekend. After he scurried away with his tail between his legs, I found myself seriously doubting I could ever be in a place of wanting him in my bed again. Too much has happened, too many hurts, too many indiscretions, too many lies, too many times he shows me no respect whatsoever, too many times he made me feel stupid, too many times he made me feel unimportant, too many times he wasn't there for our sons. It's just too much!
So, you see, I have come a long way baby, because I now realize the victory was greater than I had even imagined. I've been able to say the words for a long time that I am over him but this weekend, I FELT it.
And I know in my heart, the "love of my life" (other than my boys) is still out there. I can see him in my mind, everything but his face. I even feel him sometimes in the sense that I believe in it so sometimes I can "feel" the moment happening when I find him or he finds me. The feeling is comfortable, the feeling is secure, the feeling is butterflies, the feeling is laughter, the feeling is...well, love.
Man, and it's not even Valentine's Day yet!
Thursday, February 07, 2008
Goofy Goober
Check out Jace dancing to "Goofy Goober" from the SpongeBob movie. He always jams out when this part comes on so Brendon captured it on our digital camera. Only had room for 30 seconds but it's still funny!
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
Lord give me the strength...
...to open my deodorant!
I don't think I should skip anymore work-outs, today I didn't even have the strength to take the lid off my deodorant containter! Of course that was after working out today so I can totally blame that on those damn stretchy bands! I may have to down grade to the yellow easy ones!
And...my knees 'bout gave out when lowering myself to the toilet too after the workout. I was thinking, "man, that would be embarassing to have to have help getting off the stall floor."
That's IT - working out is officially hazardous to my health!
I don't think I should skip anymore work-outs, today I didn't even have the strength to take the lid off my deodorant containter! Of course that was after working out today so I can totally blame that on those damn stretchy bands! I may have to down grade to the yellow easy ones!
And...my knees 'bout gave out when lowering myself to the toilet too after the workout. I was thinking, "man, that would be embarassing to have to have help getting off the stall floor."
That's IT - working out is officially hazardous to my health!
Saturday, February 02, 2008
SHUT THE DOOR!!!
I screamed this to my 3 year old at least 5 times today while trying to take a shower. You know what a luxury it would be to have any of my bathroom time be private? I have a house full of boys no less and still they find the need to talk to me while I'm on the pot. As Stephanie Tanner would say, "HOW RUDE?!".
If I want to take a shower when Jace is around, I can't shut the door to where it latches so that if he DOES need something, he can come in. Of course this is enabling his seperation anxiety but I don't want to traumatize the poor kid that mommy has somehow disappeared. But leaving the door slightly ajar in case of emergency leads to Jace running in at full blast, flinging the door open, calling out "mommy" and then leaving again with the door still wide open. He does this several times through the course of even the quickest shower. Not usually a big deal 'cept when you have glass shower doors and the two teenagers are also around. Talk about trauma! Probably not condusive to the young psyche for a boy to see their mother in the shower! Oww - my eyes, my eyes!
The last time he did it, I yelled once again for him to SHUT THE DOOR when I hear my ex's voice just around the corner say, "hello". He had stopped by to borrow something but ... UMM HEL--LO, we aren't together anymore, you aren't allowed to peak at me in the shower!
What do I have to do, reserve my showers for every other weekend when all the boys are away and I have the house to myself?! I'm sure I won't stink too much by then!
If I want to take a shower when Jace is around, I can't shut the door to where it latches so that if he DOES need something, he can come in. Of course this is enabling his seperation anxiety but I don't want to traumatize the poor kid that mommy has somehow disappeared. But leaving the door slightly ajar in case of emergency leads to Jace running in at full blast, flinging the door open, calling out "mommy" and then leaving again with the door still wide open. He does this several times through the course of even the quickest shower. Not usually a big deal 'cept when you have glass shower doors and the two teenagers are also around. Talk about trauma! Probably not condusive to the young psyche for a boy to see their mother in the shower! Oww - my eyes, my eyes!
The last time he did it, I yelled once again for him to SHUT THE DOOR when I hear my ex's voice just around the corner say, "hello". He had stopped by to borrow something but ... UMM HEL--LO, we aren't together anymore, you aren't allowed to peak at me in the shower!
What do I have to do, reserve my showers for every other weekend when all the boys are away and I have the house to myself?! I'm sure I won't stink too much by then!
Friday, February 01, 2008
Ok - so I am NOT perfect...
Ok, so I never claimed NOT to be an anal, obsessive compulsive, narcissistic control freak. For me, choosing to blog is all about me...what I want to say...and that I want people to find me both thought provoking and funny (narcissistic). And when I blog, sometimes I have to edit and repost the same post several times before all the typos are gone (anal). I even re-read my own blog posts over and over (obsessive compulsive) totally validating myself with each read (again, narcissistic). But really, if I don't, then who will?!
I posted earlier today a mildly amuzing tale of skipping a lunch time workout for ordering Chinese and how I am totally fine with that! In that post, I made an obsure reference to Hitler and in the process came across something about Hitler on the internet that I found very amuzing. I thought about including that tidbit in ( ) in that same post but didn't want to run on or get off track (anal). I then thought I would immeditately do a new post highlighting my new found fact but I didn't want to overshadow my previous post (narcissistic).
So, instead I decided to share this funny fact with a coworker and maybe tomorrow I would blog about it. So I sent this e-mail...
From: Lori
Sent: Friday, February 01, 2008 10:33 AM
To:
Subject: Hitler
So I was posting on my blog today and made an obscure reference to Hitler – “High Hitler” to be exact. I wanted to make sure I was spelling it right. You know, was it “High Hitler” or “Hi Hitler” (like greeting him hello) or “Hile Hitler” (which just sounds more German to me) and came across this interesting and I’m guessing little known fact about Hitler…
… “himself was an appalling hypochondriac who abused laxatives and suffered for much of his life from stomach cramps and embarrassing flatulence” …
I found that to be extremely odd and of course funny so I had to share!
(I think I should make this my next blog post..haha)
She responded...
From:
Sent: Friday, February 01, 2008 10:38 AM
To: Lori
Subject: RE: Hitler
That is too funny!!! I think it is Heil Hilter or something like that.
Crap! Foiled Again! I had apparently misspelled "Heil Hitler". WHO CARES, right? An anal, obsessive compulsive, narcissistic, control freak - that's who!!
So, then I responded...
From: Lori
Sent: Friday, February 01, 2008 10:45 AM
To:
Subject: RE: Hitler
Ok so I went with High Hitler because it actually came up in my internet search. The internet is never wrong! Rats!
I searched your version and sure enough it came up too. Now I am going to HAVE to post about it so I don’t look like an idiot!
Of course that is a relative term anyway…perhaps only an idiot would care if they misspelled something on a blog that gets fewer readers than the instructions on shampoo bottles telling you to endlessly LATHER, RINSE and REPEAT.
Phew, I'm exhausted. It hurts my brain too much when a over ANALyze things! I think I need to find a support group. But it would probably go something like this...
"HEL--LO people, it's my turn to talk here. It doesn't really matter what your names are, but mine is Lori and I am an anal, obsessive compulsive, narcissistic, control freak. Now, how can the rest of you freaks help me? ME...don't forget to mention ME in your repsonse. Oh, and directly after today's meeting, you all are invited over to either one of my blogs where you can learn more about ME. Comments longed for, just remember to praise ME! Thank you for listening to ME. Sorry, time is up."
I hope I am not THAT bad!
I posted earlier today a mildly amuzing tale of skipping a lunch time workout for ordering Chinese and how I am totally fine with that! In that post, I made an obsure reference to Hitler and in the process came across something about Hitler on the internet that I found very amuzing. I thought about including that tidbit in ( ) in that same post but didn't want to run on or get off track (anal). I then thought I would immeditately do a new post highlighting my new found fact but I didn't want to overshadow my previous post (narcissistic).
So, instead I decided to share this funny fact with a coworker and maybe tomorrow I would blog about it. So I sent this e-mail...
From: Lori
Sent: Friday, February 01, 2008 10:33 AM
To:
Subject: Hitler
So I was posting on my blog today and made an obscure reference to Hitler – “High Hitler” to be exact. I wanted to make sure I was spelling it right. You know, was it “High Hitler” or “Hi Hitler” (like greeting him hello) or “Hile Hitler” (which just sounds more German to me) and came across this interesting and I’m guessing little known fact about Hitler…
… “himself was an appalling hypochondriac who abused laxatives and suffered for much of his life from stomach cramps and embarrassing flatulence” …
I found that to be extremely odd and of course funny so I had to share!
(I think I should make this my next blog post..haha)
She responded...
From:
Sent: Friday, February 01, 2008 10:38 AM
To: Lori
Subject: RE: Hitler
That is too funny!!! I think it is Heil Hilter or something like that.
Crap! Foiled Again! I had apparently misspelled "Heil Hitler". WHO CARES, right? An anal, obsessive compulsive, narcissistic, control freak - that's who!!
So, then I responded...
From: Lori
Sent: Friday, February 01, 2008 10:45 AM
To:
Subject: RE: Hitler
Ok so I went with High Hitler because it actually came up in my internet search. The internet is never wrong! Rats!
I searched your version and sure enough it came up too. Now I am going to HAVE to post about it so I don’t look like an idiot!
Of course that is a relative term anyway…perhaps only an idiot would care if they misspelled something on a blog that gets fewer readers than the instructions on shampoo bottles telling you to endlessly LATHER, RINSE and REPEAT.
Phew, I'm exhausted. It hurts my brain too much when a over ANALyze things! I think I need to find a support group. But it would probably go something like this...
"HEL--LO people, it's my turn to talk here. It doesn't really matter what your names are, but mine is Lori and I am an anal, obsessive compulsive, narcissistic, control freak. Now, how can the rest of you freaks help me? ME...don't forget to mention ME in your repsonse. Oh, and directly after today's meeting, you all are invited over to either one of my blogs where you can learn more about ME. Comments longed for, just remember to praise ME! Thank you for listening to ME. Sorry, time is up."
I hope I am not THAT bad!
4 out of 5...
4 out of 5 ain't bad, right? I mean it is the standard for recommendations from doctors and dentists after all. So, I figure that if I only worked out 4 out of 5 days this week, I am still doing good!
A group of us do aerobics at lunch. We usually use one of two meeting rooms, just push back the tables (a mini workout right there), bring in a IT tech/geek squad video cart to project the dvd or tape on the wall (or screen if available) and talk a brisk 2-mile walk (in-place) with Leslie Sandstone. We have branched out occassionally to a George Foreman workout and a cardio one with "Galad" as the instructor. I have decided that Galad is German (although his accent is more Austrian like Arnold Swartzenager) because he has us doing High Hilter arm movements and rigorous marching.
So today started off with the two rooms we use being booked at 11:00 am to ?? so a workout time was up in the air, one girl was leaving early, and then another girl chimed in that she couldn't work out today. My take on the situation was this...
..."I wouldn’t be heartbroken if we didn’t exercise today. As you can see, I have not reached the uber gung ho fitness craze stage yet. If we find a room at a decent time then I’m in. Otherwise, again, won’t be heartbroken!...
Can you see that my willpower is still a work in progress? I say that buying a package of 6 choc chip cookies out of vendoland yesterday and only eating 3 of them is enough work on my willpower for the week.
Soon another couldn't workout today because they have to run home at lunch. And speaking of lunch...we decided to blow the entire day and order Chinese! Chicken Fried Rice, come home to momma!
So, 4 out of 5 of us vetoed any strenous activity today - other than the act of lifting fork to mouth! I likey!
A group of us do aerobics at lunch. We usually use one of two meeting rooms, just push back the tables (a mini workout right there), bring in a IT tech/geek squad video cart to project the dvd or tape on the wall (or screen if available) and talk a brisk 2-mile walk (in-place) with Leslie Sandstone. We have branched out occassionally to a George Foreman workout and a cardio one with "Galad" as the instructor. I have decided that Galad is German (although his accent is more Austrian like Arnold Swartzenager) because he has us doing High Hilter arm movements and rigorous marching.
So today started off with the two rooms we use being booked at 11:00 am to ?? so a workout time was up in the air, one girl was leaving early, and then another girl chimed in that she couldn't work out today. My take on the situation was this...
..."I wouldn’t be heartbroken if we didn’t exercise today. As you can see, I have not reached the uber gung ho fitness craze stage yet. If we find a room at a decent time then I’m in. Otherwise, again, won’t be heartbroken!...
Can you see that my willpower is still a work in progress? I say that buying a package of 6 choc chip cookies out of vendoland yesterday and only eating 3 of them is enough work on my willpower for the week.
Soon another couldn't workout today because they have to run home at lunch. And speaking of lunch...we decided to blow the entire day and order Chinese! Chicken Fried Rice, come home to momma!
So, 4 out of 5 of us vetoed any strenous activity today - other than the act of lifting fork to mouth! I likey!
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Good Girls...Bad Boys
Ever heard the saying "you never want the ones that are good for you" or that "good girls have a thing for bad boys". I've found it to be true, I know friends who have found it to be true and watching Lulu falling for Johnny on General Hospital (following in her mother, Laura's footsteps), it made me wonder why do we always think we can save bad boys?
It actually can work. I have a friend who spent many painstaking years waiting for her boyfriend turned husband to give up drinking and staying out with friends. They've been married 10 years and have one of the most REAL deal marriages I have ever seen. I truly admire the mutual respect and love they have for each other. They are truly partners in the love and laughter that fills their marriage AND their home. Their family is their #1 priority, he a stay at home dad while she works and they both go to school. I seriously do not know two parents more involved with their kids. The amount of togetherness this family packs into a weekend let alone an entire Christmas or summer vacation blows me away. They find activities inside and outside the home that truly gives substance and culture and enrichment to their kids and seeing the pure joy on their little faces in turn gives their marriage substance and enrichment.
That's not to say it was easy. Having had both a close and sometimes distance ring side seat over the 15 years of their relationship, I know it wasn't, but the pay off...oh the pay off must feel...well, peaceful...comforting. Comforting to know that love can concur. Love of a good woman can change a man. Being willing to love at all costs, being willing to let love in, CAN in the end give you every happiness you ever dreamed possible.
But I've also seen where it doesn't work. I have another friend who spend too many years in a couple dead-end relationships. Over time in both those relationships love turned to isolation. I'm sure she felt the same way many do...that if I just love him enough...it will be enough. But it wasn't and sometimes it's just not. Sometimes for no one's fault and as painful as it can be...sometimes love is not enough. Those guys never took her love for what it was. They never allowed themselves to truly feel what she had to offer them. People like that will always end up paying a lifetime for never letting love in but my friend paid too.
The good news is, it didn't destroy her. She is a very smart, strong, independent woman who as alone as she may feel from time to time, as scared as she may feel from time to time is on her own path, on her own terms and I know she will be ok.
So, again, why? Why do we try to save the boys...these men, who for all intense purposes are either so wrong for us or are seemingly a lost cause.
I know a guy who I think is very funny, we laugh together. There is a mutual respect there and sometimes I think maybe a mutual attraction. An attraction stemming first from the friendship we share. Right now, even if it were true, neither of us would act on it. Amongst the people we both know, and probably unbeknowst to him, he has become somewhat of a joke, a laughing stock because of how he acts sometimes. Since I obviously think I have a junior psychology degree, my personal opinion is that he acts that way out of hurt and bitterness of a failed relationship. Someone who loved tremendously and lost. Knowing all to well how that feels, I'm starting to have thoughts that if in another time, if things were different and I were to offer my understanding and lend an ear for him to finally let his guard down and let go of the hurt...could that lead to something more? Could that mutual respect and genuine fun we have with each other build to something good?
Then it all comes crashing down and I tell myself to snap out of it. He probably sees me as nothing more than a friend and no amount of "I'm here for you...let me help you" will change that. I know that this is probably closer to reality than any fantasy I'm building in my head so how do I stop myself from crashing and burning here? How do I get off this train wreck before I make a fool of myself and break my own heart in the process?
Do good girls ever get over their attraction to bad boys?
It actually can work. I have a friend who spent many painstaking years waiting for her boyfriend turned husband to give up drinking and staying out with friends. They've been married 10 years and have one of the most REAL deal marriages I have ever seen. I truly admire the mutual respect and love they have for each other. They are truly partners in the love and laughter that fills their marriage AND their home. Their family is their #1 priority, he a stay at home dad while she works and they both go to school. I seriously do not know two parents more involved with their kids. The amount of togetherness this family packs into a weekend let alone an entire Christmas or summer vacation blows me away. They find activities inside and outside the home that truly gives substance and culture and enrichment to their kids and seeing the pure joy on their little faces in turn gives their marriage substance and enrichment.
That's not to say it was easy. Having had both a close and sometimes distance ring side seat over the 15 years of their relationship, I know it wasn't, but the pay off...oh the pay off must feel...well, peaceful...comforting. Comforting to know that love can concur. Love of a good woman can change a man. Being willing to love at all costs, being willing to let love in, CAN in the end give you every happiness you ever dreamed possible.
But I've also seen where it doesn't work. I have another friend who spend too many years in a couple dead-end relationships. Over time in both those relationships love turned to isolation. I'm sure she felt the same way many do...that if I just love him enough...it will be enough. But it wasn't and sometimes it's just not. Sometimes for no one's fault and as painful as it can be...sometimes love is not enough. Those guys never took her love for what it was. They never allowed themselves to truly feel what she had to offer them. People like that will always end up paying a lifetime for never letting love in but my friend paid too.
The good news is, it didn't destroy her. She is a very smart, strong, independent woman who as alone as she may feel from time to time, as scared as she may feel from time to time is on her own path, on her own terms and I know she will be ok.
So, again, why? Why do we try to save the boys...these men, who for all intense purposes are either so wrong for us or are seemingly a lost cause.
I know a guy who I think is very funny, we laugh together. There is a mutual respect there and sometimes I think maybe a mutual attraction. An attraction stemming first from the friendship we share. Right now, even if it were true, neither of us would act on it. Amongst the people we both know, and probably unbeknowst to him, he has become somewhat of a joke, a laughing stock because of how he acts sometimes. Since I obviously think I have a junior psychology degree, my personal opinion is that he acts that way out of hurt and bitterness of a failed relationship. Someone who loved tremendously and lost. Knowing all to well how that feels, I'm starting to have thoughts that if in another time, if things were different and I were to offer my understanding and lend an ear for him to finally let his guard down and let go of the hurt...could that lead to something more? Could that mutual respect and genuine fun we have with each other build to something good?
Then it all comes crashing down and I tell myself to snap out of it. He probably sees me as nothing more than a friend and no amount of "I'm here for you...let me help you" will change that. I know that this is probably closer to reality than any fantasy I'm building in my head so how do I stop myself from crashing and burning here? How do I get off this train wreck before I make a fool of myself and break my own heart in the process?
Do good girls ever get over their attraction to bad boys?
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Could you pick your kid out of line up?
I don't know about you but my kids sound extremely alike on the phone. I cannot tell them apart. In my defense, they are both boys and roughly the same age (1 year apart). Many a times I have been talking to one and ask to speak to them and they will be like "ahh, this is ______". Oops - sorry - that's embarrassing.
This morning I called home to make sure they were up, showering and to remind Brendon to take back this one sheet for the DC trip that was supposed to be turned in last Friday. I was pretty sure I was talking to Brendon but not wanting to embarass myself by inadvertently telling Dallas to take the DC sheet back when he isn't going to DC himself for another year, I was desperately listening for some clue that I had the right child.
I tried to get him to talk in full sentence answers rather than just one word responses so I had more to go on. That didn't work.
I tried to get him to say if Dallas was showering so then I would know for sure this was Brendon so I asked, "which one of you is showering now?". DUH! I'm pretty sure the stupidity of that wasn't lost on even a 1/2 asleep teenager. How could he be talking to me if he was the one in the shower? Very true but still didn't give me an indication of which one I was talking too.
I was starting to panic...how am I going to tell Brendon or get the message to Brendon about that sheet that HAD to go back today without it being painfully obviously I don't know my kids very well?
Out of desperation, I asked, "did you find something to wear?", hoping that he would actually say what he was going to wear and that would be my indicator. Brendon, being so picky about jeans, hardly has any to wear so 9 times out of 10 wears those nylon running pants. He has them in several colors so if I got, "yeah, my red (or blue or black) pants and...", then I would know I was talking to Brendon. But all I got was, "yeah". Com'on - help a girl out here!
Finally, since I obviously was not clever enough to play Vulcan mind games with my son, I gave up and simply said, "oh yeah, there is a sheet on the table to needs to go back for the DC trip" . I figured that was safe and if I truly was talking to Brendon he would know he needed to get that and if I was talking to Dallas he would understand by the words "DC trip" that it's important and he will tell his brother.
Either way, I'm sure when I get home tonight I'll see the sheet still sitting on the table.
This morning I called home to make sure they were up, showering and to remind Brendon to take back this one sheet for the DC trip that was supposed to be turned in last Friday. I was pretty sure I was talking to Brendon but not wanting to embarass myself by inadvertently telling Dallas to take the DC sheet back when he isn't going to DC himself for another year, I was desperately listening for some clue that I had the right child.
I tried to get him to talk in full sentence answers rather than just one word responses so I had more to go on. That didn't work.
I tried to get him to say if Dallas was showering so then I would know for sure this was Brendon so I asked, "which one of you is showering now?". DUH! I'm pretty sure the stupidity of that wasn't lost on even a 1/2 asleep teenager. How could he be talking to me if he was the one in the shower? Very true but still didn't give me an indication of which one I was talking too.
I was starting to panic...how am I going to tell Brendon or get the message to Brendon about that sheet that HAD to go back today without it being painfully obviously I don't know my kids very well?
Out of desperation, I asked, "did you find something to wear?", hoping that he would actually say what he was going to wear and that would be my indicator. Brendon, being so picky about jeans, hardly has any to wear so 9 times out of 10 wears those nylon running pants. He has them in several colors so if I got, "yeah, my red (or blue or black) pants and...", then I would know I was talking to Brendon. But all I got was, "yeah". Com'on - help a girl out here!
Finally, since I obviously was not clever enough to play Vulcan mind games with my son, I gave up and simply said, "oh yeah, there is a sheet on the table to needs to go back for the DC trip" . I figured that was safe and if I truly was talking to Brendon he would know he needed to get that and if I was talking to Dallas he would understand by the words "DC trip" that it's important and he will tell his brother.
Either way, I'm sure when I get home tonight I'll see the sheet still sitting on the table.
Monday, January 21, 2008
Workplace Bathroom Etiquette
I'm no Miss Manners but I'm pretty sure it's not polite for one co-worker to laugh when in the bathroom with another co-worker and the other co-worker let's out (3) loud, thundering farts. Without naming names (because I don't know who the other person was), all I'm going to say is that I was the one holding back the 12 year old kid urges to start laughing. I have, however, been giggling ever since. I SO have not grown up yet! HAHAHA.
If you thought that was funny. Check this out...
How To Poop at Work
If you thought that was funny. Check this out...
How To Poop at Work
Saturday, January 19, 2008
That's the ACTUAL temperature man!
I was telling my son last night how frickin' cold it's going to be today and found myself using that new term "actual temperature". So it went something like this..."it's going to be a high tommorrow of 4 below...well, actual temperature anyway...with the wind chill it will feel like 30 below".
I think the gravity of it was mostly lost on my 14 year old who finally this year started to wear a winter coat again rather than just a hooded sweatshirt on even the coldest days but it struck me as funny. When did we start using the term "actual temperature"? At some point could we just not fathom the scale of it? Something like this...
Dude #1: The high tomorrow is going to be 4 below!
Dude #2: WHAT?!!
Dude #1 (again): Yeah, that's the ACTUAL temperature!
Or, was it because simply saying that it was going to below zero just didn't convey how gosh damn colder than a witch's tit, colder than a well digger's ass in January (or any other old saying my parent's used to use) it really was going to be outside, so we had to come up with something that made it sound even worse. Something like this...
Dude #1: The high tomorrow is going to be 4 below!
Dude #2: WHAT?!!
Dude #1 (again): Yeah, and that's just the actual temperature, with the wind chill it's going to feel more like 30 below!
Either way you slice it, we live in the midwest, so the below zero tempertures, wind chills, and all the ways we can come up with to describe that we are going to freeze our bejeezes off are a part of life! Think I'll get started on post cards to everyone I know in warmer climates saying "WISH YOU WERE HERE". I'm sure they will booking flights for a visit as soon as they can.
I think the gravity of it was mostly lost on my 14 year old who finally this year started to wear a winter coat again rather than just a hooded sweatshirt on even the coldest days but it struck me as funny. When did we start using the term "actual temperature"? At some point could we just not fathom the scale of it? Something like this...
Dude #1: The high tomorrow is going to be 4 below!
Dude #2: WHAT?!!
Dude #1 (again): Yeah, that's the ACTUAL temperature!
Or, was it because simply saying that it was going to below zero just didn't convey how gosh damn colder than a witch's tit, colder than a well digger's ass in January (or any other old saying my parent's used to use) it really was going to be outside, so we had to come up with something that made it sound even worse. Something like this...
Dude #1: The high tomorrow is going to be 4 below!
Dude #2: WHAT?!!
Dude #1 (again): Yeah, and that's just the actual temperature, with the wind chill it's going to feel more like 30 below!
Either way you slice it, we live in the midwest, so the below zero tempertures, wind chills, and all the ways we can come up with to describe that we are going to freeze our bejeezes off are a part of life! Think I'll get started on post cards to everyone I know in warmer climates saying "WISH YOU WERE HERE". I'm sure they will booking flights for a visit as soon as they can.
Monday, January 14, 2008
New BFF
Apparently I don't have to be sad about Misti moving anymore. I have a new BFF.
Last night Jace and I were coloring (something you never outgrow by the way) and he very simply stated, "I'm your best friend".
Can't argue with that and who would want to! He is the sweetest little boy. He also told me a did a really good job coloring!
Last night Jace and I were coloring (something you never outgrow by the way) and he very simply stated, "I'm your best friend".
Can't argue with that and who would want to! He is the sweetest little boy. He also told me a did a really good job coloring!
Saturday, January 12, 2008
Shaking Things Up
I shook up my blog today. I liked my old blog colors but was frustrated with the font color that when I would bold something the dramatic effectiveness, empathicness, yes - sometimes insaneness (I'm allowed to make up words as I go) to truly show through. I would end up not only bolding but also italicing and even underlining and still it wouldn't come across with the full gusto it was intended. For a drama queen/control freak I couldn't let it go. What is the point of putting all your insanity in writing if the full craziness can't be conveyed?!
Having said that, since blue is my favorite color, I wanted to stick with that but I like the pink and burgandy I added too. All and all, I am happy with it at this moment and that's all anyone can ask for really.
So, shaking up my blog is about all the shaking I've done today. Unless you count spinning myself around in my desk chair like a kid at the beauty shop with their mother (flashback) until I got REALLY dizzy waiting for my internet to load. I know I felt shaky after that.
Pretty much the only other things I've done is practically push my kids out the door to go to their dad's for the rest of the weekend then proceeded to lay on the couch the rest of the day catching up on dvr. When I got bored with that I would see what was actually on cable. I would start to watch something and ADD would kick in, couldn't stand waiting through the commericals so I started dvr-ing everything I stumbled across so I could watch it later and fast forward. Oh yeah trying to take laziness to a new level.
Not wanting to leave the house I ordered a pizza for myself - a LARGE pizza just for me. But see now I have breakfast and lunch tomorrow covered too. Got into a shouting match with the pizza order taker guy. I'm pretty sure he probably spit on my pizza after that or had someone else do it. JERKS!
BUT I did manage to jump in the shower before the pizza got here and slip into a clean version of the exact same thing I already had on...black sweats and a blue long sleeve t-shirt. Now why did I decide at 4:30 pm to finally take a shower? I have no idea. Did I need to be all fresh and lovely for the pizza delivery person? I say person because it ended up being a short, middle aged waif of a woman who I scared the crap out of when I opened the door just as she stepped up to it.
So I pigged out on ham & mushroom pizza while reading the new Soap Opera Digest and then laid down to watch "Picture Perfect" with Jennifer Aniston. Good movie. I caught a few zzz's through the part where they stage the fight and later she confesses the whole scam...the "dressing for the job I wanted" speech.
Read my friend's blog...shout out to The Bean Blog...and here I am...and here I go.
Having said that, since blue is my favorite color, I wanted to stick with that but I like the pink and burgandy I added too. All and all, I am happy with it at this moment and that's all anyone can ask for really.
So, shaking up my blog is about all the shaking I've done today. Unless you count spinning myself around in my desk chair like a kid at the beauty shop with their mother (flashback) until I got REALLY dizzy waiting for my internet to load. I know I felt shaky after that.
Pretty much the only other things I've done is practically push my kids out the door to go to their dad's for the rest of the weekend then proceeded to lay on the couch the rest of the day catching up on dvr. When I got bored with that I would see what was actually on cable. I would start to watch something and ADD would kick in, couldn't stand waiting through the commericals so I started dvr-ing everything I stumbled across so I could watch it later and fast forward. Oh yeah trying to take laziness to a new level.
Not wanting to leave the house I ordered a pizza for myself - a LARGE pizza just for me. But see now I have breakfast and lunch tomorrow covered too. Got into a shouting match with the pizza order taker guy. I'm pretty sure he probably spit on my pizza after that or had someone else do it. JERKS!
BUT I did manage to jump in the shower before the pizza got here and slip into a clean version of the exact same thing I already had on...black sweats and a blue long sleeve t-shirt. Now why did I decide at 4:30 pm to finally take a shower? I have no idea. Did I need to be all fresh and lovely for the pizza delivery person? I say person because it ended up being a short, middle aged waif of a woman who I scared the crap out of when I opened the door just as she stepped up to it.
So I pigged out on ham & mushroom pizza while reading the new Soap Opera Digest and then laid down to watch "Picture Perfect" with Jennifer Aniston. Good movie. I caught a few zzz's through the part where they stage the fight and later she confesses the whole scam...the "dressing for the job I wanted" speech.
Read my friend's blog...shout out to The Bean Blog...and here I am...and here I go.
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Moms Are Superheroes
Have you seen the commerical for Nature Made vitamins where the little girl is sitting on the steps and says...
... "mom's are superheros...'cept no one even knows it...they are secret superheroes...(dramatic pause)...that's powerful"...
I thought how wonderful it would be to know that my kids think of me as their hero. Will they ever?
Will Brendon think I'm a superhero when I have to choose paying rent (that is already late) over his Washington, DC trip? I got a paper home last night that the final payment has to be postmarked by January 19th. I love that term "final payment", love how it implies I've actually been the dutiful mother the last 5 months and had actually been paying the $200 a month payments the trip cooridinators set up. I think I may have paid $200 overall toward the whole $1000 trip up to now. I have no idea where I'm going to come up with the rest considering I finally broke down and put the Durango in the shop today after the "Check Engine" light has been on for almost 2 months.
I'm pretty sure I already fell from superhero status when Dallas didn't get the big boy/girl birthday party he asked for.
This certainly isn't how I wanted to live my life. I wish I didn't have to choose between rent or a class trip, between Christmas for all three or a big birthday for one, between second hand or the mall. It doesn't feel very superhero-y. It feels pretty bad.
Now some would say if it really is a choice between rent and a class trip then it's a no-brainer and the kid will just have to understand that a place to live is more important that a place to visit. And I know that too in my head but I remember how crushing it was to be the kid who never got to go on any of those trips. Who even 20 years later when the friends who got to go reminisce stills feels bad they didn't get to go. Who remembers how embarrassing it was to still be wearing Lee straight leg jeans when everyone else was wearing Lee pinstrip jeans (80's reference). To always be one trend behind the times. I wanted to be the mom who could give more to my kids and I'm soooooooo not.
It does make me wonder if my mom felt this way. Did it break her heart to have to say no the way it does mine? Of course back then I thought they were heartless for saying no. But I did get to go on one trip and it was actually a big one. I did get to go to Mexico for a week for Spanish class the summer between my junior and senior year. As I've been trying to figure how I'm going to pay for Brendon's trip, I found myself wondering if all my friends who went to DC when we were in jr high knew what it cost their parent's for them to go. Probably not. Or did the same kids who got to go to Chicago in high school know what it cost? Probably not. Do I have any idea what it cost my parents for me to go to Mexico? NO! I'm sure that was more costly than DC or Chicago especially in a summer that when it was over my dad had lost his battle with cancer.
I've long known that my parents and even my brother sheltered me from a lot of my dad's illness so that I could experience high school. But did they ever know they were superheroes? Probably not.
So, you see, history repeats itself in many ways. Not only do I have no more money than my parents did to provide the extra things for my kids but also my kids have no more idea than I did back then what my parents went through to provide what we did have.
So what truly makes parents superheroes? Is it the extras they can provide or sheltering their kids from the struggles of providing what they can?
Who are the superheroes in your life? Do they know?
... "mom's are superheros...'cept no one even knows it...they are secret superheroes...(dramatic pause)...that's powerful"...
I thought how wonderful it would be to know that my kids think of me as their hero. Will they ever?
Will Brendon think I'm a superhero when I have to choose paying rent (that is already late) over his Washington, DC trip? I got a paper home last night that the final payment has to be postmarked by January 19th. I love that term "final payment", love how it implies I've actually been the dutiful mother the last 5 months and had actually been paying the $200 a month payments the trip cooridinators set up. I think I may have paid $200 overall toward the whole $1000 trip up to now. I have no idea where I'm going to come up with the rest considering I finally broke down and put the Durango in the shop today after the "Check Engine" light has been on for almost 2 months.
I'm pretty sure I already fell from superhero status when Dallas didn't get the big boy/girl birthday party he asked for.
This certainly isn't how I wanted to live my life. I wish I didn't have to choose between rent or a class trip, between Christmas for all three or a big birthday for one, between second hand or the mall. It doesn't feel very superhero-y. It feels pretty bad.
Now some would say if it really is a choice between rent and a class trip then it's a no-brainer and the kid will just have to understand that a place to live is more important that a place to visit. And I know that too in my head but I remember how crushing it was to be the kid who never got to go on any of those trips. Who even 20 years later when the friends who got to go reminisce stills feels bad they didn't get to go. Who remembers how embarrassing it was to still be wearing Lee straight leg jeans when everyone else was wearing Lee pinstrip jeans (80's reference). To always be one trend behind the times. I wanted to be the mom who could give more to my kids and I'm soooooooo not.
It does make me wonder if my mom felt this way. Did it break her heart to have to say no the way it does mine? Of course back then I thought they were heartless for saying no. But I did get to go on one trip and it was actually a big one. I did get to go to Mexico for a week for Spanish class the summer between my junior and senior year. As I've been trying to figure how I'm going to pay for Brendon's trip, I found myself wondering if all my friends who went to DC when we were in jr high knew what it cost their parent's for them to go. Probably not. Or did the same kids who got to go to Chicago in high school know what it cost? Probably not. Do I have any idea what it cost my parents for me to go to Mexico? NO! I'm sure that was more costly than DC or Chicago especially in a summer that when it was over my dad had lost his battle with cancer.
I've long known that my parents and even my brother sheltered me from a lot of my dad's illness so that I could experience high school. But did they ever know they were superheroes? Probably not.
So, you see, history repeats itself in many ways. Not only do I have no more money than my parents did to provide the extra things for my kids but also my kids have no more idea than I did back then what my parents went through to provide what we did have.
So what truly makes parents superheroes? Is it the extras they can provide or sheltering their kids from the struggles of providing what they can?
Who are the superheroes in your life? Do they know?
Thursday, January 03, 2008
Farewell to Misti & Marty!
Yes, I know they aren't gone forEVER but gone just the same. Today my friends, Misti & Marty (and their daughter, Amber) left to start their new life in Texas. I know that even though they were still packing at 6:00 pm last night, they wanted to leave town around 8:00 or 9:00 am this morning. It's about a 16 hr drive so if they are driving straight through...they aren't even there yet.Man I am going to miss her!
We have known each other for 20 YEARS! I know that probably really shows our age but not really since we met while still in the womb when our mom's were in lamaze class! HAHA. We actually met in high school when we were both working at Jack's. Lost track for awhile after high school but looked each other up, became roommates for awhile and have been the greatest of friends ever since. She definitely could always make me laugh and I'll miss that.
I can't believe she won't just be an e-mail or phone call away from hooking up for lunch on any given day. No more montly AA Meetings at Hacienda. For some reason the last two days I can't get that song "Seasons in the Sun" (<-- click here) out of my head when thinking about her leaving. HAHA. You know... "we had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun...". I think it's because of that line... "goodbye to you my trusted friend..." .
I truly am happy for them, they are so excited about this move and are looking forward to the fresh start. See here how they can hardly contain themselves...
HAHAHAHAHAHA...she is going to KILL me for that one. Have I mentioned how much I will miss her??!!
*
Well, let's see there is Logan's graduation this spring and her high school reunion this summer and next thing we know the holidays will be around again so until then "my trusted friend", I wish you all the happiness in the world and as my dad once wrote for me... MAY YOUR FUTURE ALWAYS BE A BRIGHT AS YOU ARE!!
U R
2 Good
2 Be
4 Gotten
U R
2 Good
2 Be
4 Gotten
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Protect Your Largest Organ...
Have you heard of this campaign? It's for skin cancer awareness...your skin being your largest organ. I stumbled acrossed it on Soap Opera Town USA where I check up on General Hospital happenings (I know I have NO life) and one of the stars of GH, Jason Thompson (HOTTIE to the maxx) is one of the models for the campaign.
Check this out...
Check this out...
http://www.ghfanclub.com/indextshirt.html
or other celebs at
http://www.marcjacobs.com/ under Special Items, look for the Protect Your Largest Organ slogan.
Friday, December 21, 2007
My Baby is 3 today...
Today is Jace's 3rd birthday. My baby is growing up. Look how perfect he was 3 years ago today! Not that he isn't still perfect. He is one funny little boy. Light of our lives.
He woke up this morning being the "not a 6:30 in morning person" that he is saying NO it was NOT his birthday. All the time I sang Happy Birthday to him, he was saying NO.
By time we got to day care, he was all for it. Couldn't wait to get inside and say he was 3!
The Middle Name Meme...
Ok I admit, I have NO CLUE what I am doing today with this post. The only thing I know for sure I am supposed to do is take the letters of my middle name and come up with a word starting with each letter than tells something about me. Other than that I am suppose to also post the rules of the game and tag other players. Here is why I am confused...these are the rules as they were presented to me...
1. You have to post these rules before you give the facts.
2. Players, you must list one fact that is somehow relevant to your life for each letter of your middle name. If you don’t have a middle name, use the middle name you would have liked to have had.
3. If you are tagged you need to write your own blog-post containing your own middle name game facts.
4. At the end of your blog-post, you need to choose one person for each letter of your middle name to tag.
#3 is where I am first confused..."post...your own middle name game facts"...does this mean I make up my own rules...OH WAIT...blonde moment..."rules" and "facts" being two totally different things here. "Rules" being 1 - 4 above and "facts" being yet to be determined because I haven't listed my middle name with it's words/"facts" yet. OK I GET IT NOW...SEE JUST GIVE ME A SECOND OR TWO AND I CAN EVENTUALLY CATCH ON!!
BUT...I am still confused on #4, if I tag someone, they have to post to their blog continuing the game. I don't know any other bloggers than myself and the person who tagged me. I suppose, if I tag someone, they can do theirs in e-mail. I'll just send them my blog posting.
MAN - this is TOO hard. I can't handle the pressure! I am so not mainstreamed yet into blogger society.
So, here goes, the "rules" again are:
1. You have to post these rules before you give the facts.
2. Players, you must list one fact that is somehow relevant to your life for each letter of your middle name. If you don’t have a middle name, use the middle name you would have liked to have had.
3. If you are tagged you need to write your own blog-post containing your own middle name game facts.
4. At the end of your blog-post, you need to choose one person for each letter of your middle name to tag.
A - Animals. As in the stuffed variety. I used to collect stuffed animals. I had them all over my head board and even hanging on the wall above my bed. As I've been forced (kicking and screaming) to grow up, over the years, I've only kept the ones that have meaning and let the others go. I wish I could say I gave them to a good charity or something but to be honest, I don't know what ever became of them. Maybe they are on the Isle of Misfit Toys.
N - Naughty. I have an evil twin named, Lola, who says all the naughty things Lori is too nice to say. Lola can come out at any time, tends to swear like a sailor, and is the queen of sarcasism.
N - I was going to cop out and use Nice but that's too easy. So, let's go with Nap. OH, how I love to take me a nap. I don't get them as often since Jace thinks he is too old for them now. A great day would involve more than one nap. Just like when the kids were babes...a morning and afternoon nap. What more can you ask for?
Ok, that was kinda hard with two N's but I finally completed the task. So, I am going to tag:
Leslie
Stephanie
Misti
1. You have to post these rules before you give the facts.
2. Players, you must list one fact that is somehow relevant to your life for each letter of your middle name. If you don’t have a middle name, use the middle name you would have liked to have had.
3. If you are tagged you need to write your own blog-post containing your own middle name game facts.
4. At the end of your blog-post, you need to choose one person for each letter of your middle name to tag.
#3 is where I am first confused..."post...your own middle name game facts"...does this mean I make up my own rules...OH WAIT...blonde moment..."rules" and "facts" being two totally different things here. "Rules" being 1 - 4 above and "facts" being yet to be determined because I haven't listed my middle name with it's words/"facts" yet. OK I GET IT NOW...SEE JUST GIVE ME A SECOND OR TWO AND I CAN EVENTUALLY CATCH ON!!
BUT...I am still confused on #4, if I tag someone, they have to post to their blog continuing the game. I don't know any other bloggers than myself and the person who tagged me. I suppose, if I tag someone, they can do theirs in e-mail. I'll just send them my blog posting.
MAN - this is TOO hard. I can't handle the pressure! I am so not mainstreamed yet into blogger society.
So, here goes, the "rules" again are:
1. You have to post these rules before you give the facts.
2. Players, you must list one fact that is somehow relevant to your life for each letter of your middle name. If you don’t have a middle name, use the middle name you would have liked to have had.
3. If you are tagged you need to write your own blog-post containing your own middle name game facts.
4. At the end of your blog-post, you need to choose one person for each letter of your middle name to tag.
A - Animals. As in the stuffed variety. I used to collect stuffed animals. I had them all over my head board and even hanging on the wall above my bed. As I've been forced (kicking and screaming) to grow up, over the years, I've only kept the ones that have meaning and let the others go. I wish I could say I gave them to a good charity or something but to be honest, I don't know what ever became of them. Maybe they are on the Isle of Misfit Toys.
N - Naughty. I have an evil twin named, Lola, who says all the naughty things Lori is too nice to say. Lola can come out at any time, tends to swear like a sailor, and is the queen of sarcasism.
N - I was going to cop out and use Nice but that's too easy. So, let's go with Nap. OH, how I love to take me a nap. I don't get them as often since Jace thinks he is too old for them now. A great day would involve more than one nap. Just like when the kids were babes...a morning and afternoon nap. What more can you ask for?
Ok, that was kinda hard with two N's but I finally completed the task. So, I am going to tag:
Leslie
Stephanie
Misti
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Lunchtime Chat
At lunch the other day the lunch bunch was talking...let me just preface this with saying that MANY, MANY a lunchtime conversation have taken a serious downward turn...into the gutter that is...often in record time no less...
Anyway, I was talking about how I'm not sure the alarm clock I got my niece for Chrsitmas was the exact one my brother had dictated to me. A member of the lunch bunch wanted to know if I told him I wasn't a "dic-taker". To which I swiftly replied..."I don't know if I want to go on record with that statement at this time!" HAHAHAHAHAHA!
I mean, I'm not even divorced yet, give a girl a chance to bounce back before she gives up on Dick (or Tom or Harry or Matt or Bob or Steve or Pete or the Hells Angels or the Boys Tabernacle Choir - oh wait that's just wrong!).
Anyway, I was talking about how I'm not sure the alarm clock I got my niece for Chrsitmas was the exact one my brother had dictated to me. A member of the lunch bunch wanted to know if I told him I wasn't a "dic-taker". To which I swiftly replied..."I don't know if I want to go on record with that statement at this time!" HAHAHAHAHAHA!
I mean, I'm not even divorced yet, give a girl a chance to bounce back before she gives up on Dick (or Tom or Harry or Matt or Bob or Steve or Pete or the Hells Angels or the Boys Tabernacle Choir - oh wait that's just wrong!).
Monday, December 17, 2007
Pardon the interruption...
Do you now an interupter? You know that person who when you are talking butts in to either...
1) say how that same thing happened to them or someone in their family only much worse or much better whichever the case may be.
- or -
2) say something completely off track that has nothing to do with what you were saying
- or - I almost forgot this one...
3) to talk to someone else in the room (or yell at their kids)
Now I can see how occasionally it's unavoidable or a slip of good conscious (not to mention social decency) to interrupt. And I admit I have been guilty of it myself from time to time. BUT the difference between myself and this other socially inept mutant is that I feel bad afterward, apologize for interupting and politely let the person finish as soon as I am done (ha).
What gets me is the interupter who not only interupts once in a single converstion but continues to do so to the point that you NEVER finish what you were saying and they NEVER notice. They were never invested in what you were saying whatsoever. They are so obsessively narcissistic that they never give the lead back to you. No "I'm sorry, what were you saying" or "Oh I didn't mean to interrupt, go on". The worse head cases will go on and on with their interuption and then say, "where was I going with this". At this point, you are willing to jab them in the eye with a screwdriver to get them to shut up. But no, being the beacon of Emily Post rules of etiquette that you are, you listen intently while visions of them choking on their last breathe dance in your head and then you finally get a word in which is of course "I'm sorry, what were you saying".
We now return you to your regularly scheduled program.
1) say how that same thing happened to them or someone in their family only much worse or much better whichever the case may be.
- or -
2) say something completely off track that has nothing to do with what you were saying
- or - I almost forgot this one...
3) to talk to someone else in the room (or yell at their kids)
Now I can see how occasionally it's unavoidable or a slip of good conscious (not to mention social decency) to interrupt. And I admit I have been guilty of it myself from time to time. BUT the difference between myself and this other socially inept mutant is that I feel bad afterward, apologize for interupting and politely let the person finish as soon as I am done (ha).
What gets me is the interupter who not only interupts once in a single converstion but continues to do so to the point that you NEVER finish what you were saying and they NEVER notice. They were never invested in what you were saying whatsoever. They are so obsessively narcissistic that they never give the lead back to you. No "I'm sorry, what were you saying" or "Oh I didn't mean to interrupt, go on". The worse head cases will go on and on with their interuption and then say, "where was I going with this". At this point, you are willing to jab them in the eye with a screwdriver to get them to shut up. But no, being the beacon of Emily Post rules of etiquette that you are, you listen intently while visions of them choking on their last breathe dance in your head and then you finally get a word in which is of course "I'm sorry, what were you saying".
We now return you to your regularly scheduled program.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Losing Weight...
I swear I've got to be losing weight. Good news right?! But it's odd...I'm only losing in my shoulders! I know it sounds weird but it must be because EVERY BRA I CURRENTLY OWN, ALL OF A SUDDEN, THE STRAPS SLIDE OFF MY SHOULDERS CONSTANTLY!!!
It's it a total pain when your bra doesn't fit. I bought (2) new ones at Penney's recently for $30 each (actually it was BOGO - Buy One, Get One) and both of them slip. One of them is SOOO bad, the other day I was wearing it and as the shoulder strap would slip, as soon as I pulled it back up - at that very moment the cup would rise up and my boob would slip out under the underwire. Now, I know that is not the meaning of "underwire" that your boob goes UNDER the wire.
I've never experienced that before - sliding out under the bra. On occassion when wearing an ill-fitting bra, I've had boobs pop out the top - over the cup - but never under the cup! For instance, I learned the hard way that if you are large breasted not to buy a Wonder Bra (the push up kind) a size smaller than you normally wear. Pretty much no chance of those babies staying in there!
Back to the saga of the other day...then when I would adjust the bottom and get my stray boob back where it belonged - at that moment the shoulder strap would fall off again!
It was driving me so crazy I really just wanted to take it off. I seriously was thinking I would be better off. YEAH if they were still 18 year old boobs untouched by the cruel reality of aging and motherhood! Back when they were innocent, perky, full of life, every adventure still ahead of them. Not 38 year old boobs that have seen their better days!
Life (and bras apparently) can be so cruel!
It's it a total pain when your bra doesn't fit. I bought (2) new ones at Penney's recently for $30 each (actually it was BOGO - Buy One, Get One) and both of them slip. One of them is SOOO bad, the other day I was wearing it and as the shoulder strap would slip, as soon as I pulled it back up - at that very moment the cup would rise up and my boob would slip out under the underwire. Now, I know that is not the meaning of "underwire" that your boob goes UNDER the wire.
I've never experienced that before - sliding out under the bra. On occassion when wearing an ill-fitting bra, I've had boobs pop out the top - over the cup - but never under the cup! For instance, I learned the hard way that if you are large breasted not to buy a Wonder Bra (the push up kind) a size smaller than you normally wear. Pretty much no chance of those babies staying in there!
Back to the saga of the other day...then when I would adjust the bottom and get my stray boob back where it belonged - at that moment the shoulder strap would fall off again!
It was driving me so crazy I really just wanted to take it off. I seriously was thinking I would be better off. YEAH if they were still 18 year old boobs untouched by the cruel reality of aging and motherhood! Back when they were innocent, perky, full of life, every adventure still ahead of them. Not 38 year old boobs that have seen their better days!
Life (and bras apparently) can be so cruel!
Sunday, December 09, 2007
Two Teenagers in the house...
Today is Dallas' 13th birthday! Now there are officially two teenagers in the house (although sometimes they act more Jace's age - ha!).
He is at his dad' today so I waited 'til after 10:00 am to call him. I said an enthusiastic HAPPY BIRTHDAY and get no response. He was totally grumpy. I don't know if he just got up, or is feeling like it doesn't really seem like his birthday to him.
He already got his gift from me back in August - a Razor (phone that is for anyone still in the last century).
His dad gave him his gift on Thanksgiving so that he could wear it for good luck during the Cowboys game that day. It was a Marion Barber jersey. You couldn't have wiped the smile off his face when he saw it and put it on. BUT that was a couple weeks ago now so the novelty has worn off.
Since he is at his dad's this weekend - he didn't have his "party" yet. He'll have some friends over next weekend.
And so that we can combine his at Jace's b-days together, we aren't doing cake and ice cream with family 'til next Sunday.
On top of all of that, he came to me a few days ago wanting to have a big boy/girl party like what we offered to Brendon when he turned 13. Brendon originally wanted the big party and later backed out. I guess ever since then...the thought never occurred to me that Dallas should have the same opportunity. That must be why Dallas suffers from Jan Brady (Marcia, Marcia, Marcia) Middle Child Syndrome. Unfortunately, I told him that on such short notice and with money already tight for Christmas, we could not afford that right now. He is really disappointed.
So, once again I get the Mother of the Year award and kids once again show how ungrateful they can be. They have such short term memories when it comes to the great things they do have in their lives. Ahh teenagers...and blessed with two...Christmas came early for me!!!!
He is at his dad' today so I waited 'til after 10:00 am to call him. I said an enthusiastic HAPPY BIRTHDAY and get no response. He was totally grumpy. I don't know if he just got up, or is feeling like it doesn't really seem like his birthday to him.
He already got his gift from me back in August - a Razor (phone that is for anyone still in the last century).
His dad gave him his gift on Thanksgiving so that he could wear it for good luck during the Cowboys game that day. It was a Marion Barber jersey. You couldn't have wiped the smile off his face when he saw it and put it on. BUT that was a couple weeks ago now so the novelty has worn off.
Since he is at his dad's this weekend - he didn't have his "party" yet. He'll have some friends over next weekend.
And so that we can combine his at Jace's b-days together, we aren't doing cake and ice cream with family 'til next Sunday.
On top of all of that, he came to me a few days ago wanting to have a big boy/girl party like what we offered to Brendon when he turned 13. Brendon originally wanted the big party and later backed out. I guess ever since then...the thought never occurred to me that Dallas should have the same opportunity. That must be why Dallas suffers from Jan Brady (Marcia, Marcia, Marcia) Middle Child Syndrome. Unfortunately, I told him that on such short notice and with money already tight for Christmas, we could not afford that right now. He is really disappointed.
So, once again I get the Mother of the Year award and kids once again show how ungrateful they can be. They have such short term memories when it comes to the great things they do have in their lives. Ahh teenagers...and blessed with two...Christmas came early for me!!!!
Ho On the Go
Ahh...I bet you tuned in thinking this was a Santa related post...Ho. Something about Santa being on the go OR Christmas cheer during this busy time of the year. Well...not so much.
I was surfing the net yesterday looking for ideas for our Secret Santa exchange at work. I actually call it Dirty Santa because it's the one were you get to steal someone else's gift if you want.
We have a $20 limit and usually it also needs to be unisex because there are usually a couple token guys (sorry Pat and Rob - hehe). This year there are no guys so that opened up the options a little. Anyway, as I was surfing for ideas, I came across this...
For the Ho on the Go - the original one night stand kit for the modern one night stand. For those nights when you just can't make it home.
Kit includes:
(1) pair of thong underwear
(2) condoms
(1) mini toothbrush
(1) mini toothpaste
(1) moist towelette
Now I didn't really see this being a fitting gift for anyone in the exchange at work. None of my other (grown up) friends for that matter but it still struck me as funny. Where was this 10 - 15 years ago when it could have been a practical gift?!
I was surfing the net yesterday looking for ideas for our Secret Santa exchange at work. I actually call it Dirty Santa because it's the one were you get to steal someone else's gift if you want.
We have a $20 limit and usually it also needs to be unisex because there are usually a couple token guys (sorry Pat and Rob - hehe). This year there are no guys so that opened up the options a little. Anyway, as I was surfing for ideas, I came across this...
For the Ho on the Go - the original one night stand kit for the modern one night stand. For those nights when you just can't make it home.
Kit includes:
(1) pair of thong underwear
(2) condoms
(1) mini toothbrush
(1) mini toothpaste
(1) moist towelette
Now I didn't really see this being a fitting gift for anyone in the exchange at work. None of my other (grown up) friends for that matter but it still struck me as funny. Where was this 10 - 15 years ago when it could have been a practical gift?!
Saturday, December 08, 2007
Can't beat these gas prices...
Last night after book club, where Before Women Had Wings was discussed over food and drinks, and after picking Jace up from my brother & sister-in-law's I needed to get gas. I pulled into the Quik Trip...nay Road Ranger. There were a couple cars at the pumps already and I pulled in between them. I wanted to pay inside because I also wanted to stock up on a couple sodas for the mornng. So, I selected PAY INSIDE CREDIT on the pump. I really was paying with my debit card but PAY INSIDE DEBIT was not an option.
Wait...let me go back a little...I was wondering why the pump wasn't asking me which payment option I wanted on the screen like it normally does. It already was to the point where it tells you to pick up the nozzle and lift the handle. Ok, so I pushed the PAY INSIDE CREDIT button that is near the number pad. It was slow reacting but finally the screen changed and said $7.00 Prepaid. I thought GREAT - somehow I selected some option that only allowed me to put in $7.00 worth. I wondered why the heck would they pick that crazy odd amount as a limit when you want to PAY INSIDE CREDIT. I just said screw it, $7.00 is enough for now - I'll get more gas tomorrow. It pumped in the $7.00 and the pump shut off.
But wait a second...something still seemed a miss here...the pump went back to the start screen asking me to select a payment method. I decided to start over and go ahead and fill up. I was starting to suspect someone screwed up...someone pre-paid (for $7.00) and then didn't actually pump it. So, this time I selected PAY OUTSIDE DEBIT because I didn't want to go inside and face the cashier if they had put 2 and 2 together and accuse me of scamming them. My sodas could wait - I had a 2 liter of Diet Mt Dew at home and that would get me through the night (as it has many a night - ha).
As I was pumping (again), I noticed the car on the same island as me, which had already been there when I pulled in, it's driver had walked inside (I figured to pay and go on his way) and now was on his way back to his car. He was on his cell phone and I had not pushed 1 for English so I couldn't understand him. By now I had put 4 and 4 together and determined HE was the one who had prepaid for $7.00 and the cashier inside screwed up and posted the prepayment to pump 3 (mine) instead of pump 4 (his). The whole time he had been standing there waiting to be able to pump his $7.00 worth...that $7.00 was being pump into my truck.
At this point, I decided NOT to fill up - to cut my losses and get the hell out of there! I stopped my pump at $20. Thank God I had selected PAY OUTSIDE DEBIT so all I had to do was slap my gas cap back on, jump in and peel out...inconspicuously of course. I fumbled with the gas cap at feverish pace as if I were calf roping in a rodeo and once it was screwed in tightly I could throw my hands up in the air signaling the judges to stop the clock and give me my score. Cap in place, I jumped in, quickly looked inside the building - scanning the faces of the workers to see if they had any inclining as to what just happened and then...I put the petal to the metal.
There was a car in front of me waiting to pull out in traffic and when it was my turn I had to wait for oncoming cars before I could safely pull across the lanes. Panic was setting in...I thought I was busted for sure! I thought about turning the opposite direction just to get going and get out of view. The last thing I wanted was for them to get a description of my vehicle or my license plate #. Ever see those pictures on the gas pump of the Iowa State Trooper saying that if you don't pay for your gas you can loose your license? SC-AAAR-RRYYY!!!
I got down the road was still basking in the glory of free gas when I realized at $2.84 a gallon my coo amounted to all of 2.46 gallons of gas. Still, it was a victory over price gouging every where!
Wait...let me go back a little...I was wondering why the pump wasn't asking me which payment option I wanted on the screen like it normally does. It already was to the point where it tells you to pick up the nozzle and lift the handle. Ok, so I pushed the PAY INSIDE CREDIT button that is near the number pad. It was slow reacting but finally the screen changed and said $7.00 Prepaid. I thought GREAT - somehow I selected some option that only allowed me to put in $7.00 worth. I wondered why the heck would they pick that crazy odd amount as a limit when you want to PAY INSIDE CREDIT. I just said screw it, $7.00 is enough for now - I'll get more gas tomorrow. It pumped in the $7.00 and the pump shut off.
But wait a second...something still seemed a miss here...the pump went back to the start screen asking me to select a payment method. I decided to start over and go ahead and fill up. I was starting to suspect someone screwed up...someone pre-paid (for $7.00) and then didn't actually pump it. So, this time I selected PAY OUTSIDE DEBIT because I didn't want to go inside and face the cashier if they had put 2 and 2 together and accuse me of scamming them. My sodas could wait - I had a 2 liter of Diet Mt Dew at home and that would get me through the night (as it has many a night - ha).
As I was pumping (again), I noticed the car on the same island as me, which had already been there when I pulled in, it's driver had walked inside (I figured to pay and go on his way) and now was on his way back to his car. He was on his cell phone and I had not pushed 1 for English so I couldn't understand him. By now I had put 4 and 4 together and determined HE was the one who had prepaid for $7.00 and the cashier inside screwed up and posted the prepayment to pump 3 (mine) instead of pump 4 (his). The whole time he had been standing there waiting to be able to pump his $7.00 worth...that $7.00 was being pump into my truck.
At this point, I decided NOT to fill up - to cut my losses and get the hell out of there! I stopped my pump at $20. Thank God I had selected PAY OUTSIDE DEBIT so all I had to do was slap my gas cap back on, jump in and peel out...inconspicuously of course. I fumbled with the gas cap at feverish pace as if I were calf roping in a rodeo and once it was screwed in tightly I could throw my hands up in the air signaling the judges to stop the clock and give me my score. Cap in place, I jumped in, quickly looked inside the building - scanning the faces of the workers to see if they had any inclining as to what just happened and then...I put the petal to the metal.
There was a car in front of me waiting to pull out in traffic and when it was my turn I had to wait for oncoming cars before I could safely pull across the lanes. Panic was setting in...I thought I was busted for sure! I thought about turning the opposite direction just to get going and get out of view. The last thing I wanted was for them to get a description of my vehicle or my license plate #. Ever see those pictures on the gas pump of the Iowa State Trooper saying that if you don't pay for your gas you can loose your license? SC-AAAR-RRYYY!!!
I got down the road was still basking in the glory of free gas when I realized at $2.84 a gallon my coo amounted to all of 2.46 gallons of gas. Still, it was a victory over price gouging every where!
Sunday, December 02, 2007
O' Christmas Tree, O' Christmas Tree
Amazing how putting up the Christmas tree can make you feel so much better. My whole day has been a lot more productive than yesterday. I did the work I couldn't bring myself to do yesterday, then I finished the tree. We have a big pre-lit tree and I LOVE it. Until today though it was up but not decorated. I put on the garland, first a big silver one then a smaller gold one with little stars. Then the ornaments. Since there are so many lights, I don't have to use many ornaments. I start with all the ones that have meaning - the ones the kids have made in school, ones made for me with the kid's initials, the angels in our birthstone colors, the fluffy cat that reminds me of my aunt, etc. Then I add the miscellaneous ones that are just my favorites for some reason - cute mostly. Then I add the some of the traditional colored round ones. Then I fill in the wholes with some ceramic like ones that are Christmas themed little statues, like a Santa, a toy train, a toy solider, a rocking horse, a fireplace, an angel. I put that angel one toward the top of the tree because they boys won't let me put my big lit angel on. They like the star better. The star is up there but not lit yet. Need to find an extension cord. Whoever invented prelit trees should have made it so that the tree topper can plug into the tree. Maybe they do but I have never seen where. Of course Ken always puts the tree together for me (this year was no different) so maybe he never saw it. Oh and the final touches, just a few icicles. Dallas had asked me not to use those this year because they are annoying when they fall off and stick to your feet. Silly boy.
Anyway, decorating the tree has always been my most treasured Christmas memory. I loved decorating the tree with my mom. She always did the lights and garland and I did the ornaments. She would tell me where holes needed to be filled in and such. I remember Brendon's 2nd Christmas, Dallas' first, I wrote her a poemy letter about those memories. Typed it up, framed it, and gave it to her for Christmas that year. She displayed it for a couple Christmases but I think it's in a drawer somewhere now. I feel kinda guilty I didn't wait for the boys to come home to help with the ornaments. They always give up helping every year anyway because my OCD would kick in and I would micromange every placement. Not too many of the same color in the same place, none too close to one another, etc.
Last year I started laying claim to some of my mom's holiday decorations. I wasn't trying to dampen the mood or anything but I just wanted her to know which ones meant a lot to me and that I would like to have them...someday...ummm...when she was gone. She understood my intention and even went ahead and gave me the nativity scene I had mentioned. She hadn't put it out for years so she wanted me to go ahead and have it. It's on my tv right now. It's big - one of the 3 wisemen is as big as my foot (yes, I measured) - and even though I have small feet, that is still pretty big. It's from Home Interiors and the only thing missing is the stable/manger but I still love it.
Manger - "Away in the manger no crib for a bed. The little lord Jesus lay down his sweet head. The stars in the sky look down where he lay. The little lord Jesus asleep on the hay". Another Christmas memory. My mom and my grandmother (I think my aunt as well) had the same Christmas carol book with the sheet music and illustrations. I don't know how to read music but I did know one set of keys from low C to high C or something like that. My grandmother wrote in the letters of the keys for me on "Away in the Manger" and when we'd go to her house (in Missouri) for Christmas, I would play it on the piano and sing along. Not in front of the whole family or anything on the night we opened gifts, just throughout the visit as my grandmother would either be busy in the adjoining kitchen or sitting in her green rocking chair right behind me. So, I told my momther that that music book of Christmas carols is another thing I'd like to have someday. I really wish I knew what happened to my grandmother's with those notes written in for me but I remember it like yesterday none the less.
So, the Christmas spirit has gotten hold of me today. The next feat is to make sure there are presents under that tree in 22 days. Better start on my letter to Santa.
Anyway, decorating the tree has always been my most treasured Christmas memory. I loved decorating the tree with my mom. She always did the lights and garland and I did the ornaments. She would tell me where holes needed to be filled in and such. I remember Brendon's 2nd Christmas, Dallas' first, I wrote her a poemy letter about those memories. Typed it up, framed it, and gave it to her for Christmas that year. She displayed it for a couple Christmases but I think it's in a drawer somewhere now. I feel kinda guilty I didn't wait for the boys to come home to help with the ornaments. They always give up helping every year anyway because my OCD would kick in and I would micromange every placement. Not too many of the same color in the same place, none too close to one another, etc.
Last year I started laying claim to some of my mom's holiday decorations. I wasn't trying to dampen the mood or anything but I just wanted her to know which ones meant a lot to me and that I would like to have them...someday...ummm...when she was gone. She understood my intention and even went ahead and gave me the nativity scene I had mentioned. She hadn't put it out for years so she wanted me to go ahead and have it. It's on my tv right now. It's big - one of the 3 wisemen is as big as my foot (yes, I measured) - and even though I have small feet, that is still pretty big. It's from Home Interiors and the only thing missing is the stable/manger but I still love it.
Manger - "Away in the manger no crib for a bed. The little lord Jesus lay down his sweet head. The stars in the sky look down where he lay. The little lord Jesus asleep on the hay". Another Christmas memory. My mom and my grandmother (I think my aunt as well) had the same Christmas carol book with the sheet music and illustrations. I don't know how to read music but I did know one set of keys from low C to high C or something like that. My grandmother wrote in the letters of the keys for me on "Away in the Manger" and when we'd go to her house (in Missouri) for Christmas, I would play it on the piano and sing along. Not in front of the whole family or anything on the night we opened gifts, just throughout the visit as my grandmother would either be busy in the adjoining kitchen or sitting in her green rocking chair right behind me. So, I told my momther that that music book of Christmas carols is another thing I'd like to have someday. I really wish I knew what happened to my grandmother's with those notes written in for me but I remember it like yesterday none the less.
So, the Christmas spirit has gotten hold of me today. The next feat is to make sure there are presents under that tree in 22 days. Better start on my letter to Santa.
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